Why is everyone afraid of commitment in this generation, like what's so wrong about being in a relationship?

I really don't understand. Why is a fuck buddy more fun then one person that really gets you and is willing to put in time and effort for you? Wtf. It's like this generation is embarrassed of wanting to be with one person.





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What Guys Said 36

  • Because no one gets us. They don't even try they don't even pretend.

    Of course we all want to find that one girl who can be our best friend but guys understand now that just because your attracted to a girl doesn't mean that she's compatible with you.

    Girls now more than ever are self centered and difficult. The first one isn't really a bad thing but the second one is and comes from the first. Girls want to be independent now and abandon traditional values and thats fine but it makes the commitment on the part of the guy a lot harder so we are very selective with who we start an actual relationship with because the fact is.

    Most girls want their way and they don't give a shit about the guy. It's as if his existence is for her.

    And then there's the fact that if things end badly there's a ton of ways a girl could fuck up a guys life.

    We're not afraid of commitment, it's the girls who are afraid of committing to a relationship.

    Like I'm so sik of hearing this you really think that I don't want an actual relationship so bad? It's the girls that suck all most of you are worthy of is a friends with benefits situation, really. You wanna talk about how bad guys are? At least we make what we want clear from the beginning.

    I don't know any guy who would tell a girl they love her if they didn't mean it. I can think of a bunch of girls who would say things like that just so they can have the "Boyfriend experience"

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    • 19d

      (I'm not attacking your comment for the sake of attacking it or whatever.)
      Well, I have met more guys who just lead girls on by saying they love them to get laid. I don't think all guys are like this, far from that actually, but if I were to put this in numbers, I have only known one girl who was after the "boyfriend experience", opposed to many guys.

  • Girls only want a select few guys, and the guys they do want have so many options that they'll never commit to any one girl. The guys who do want committed relationships are by and large seen by girls as clingy losers who need to get a clue.

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  • There are tons of guys who want to be in relationships, but those guys are always seen by girls as losers for some reason. Girls seem to prefer guys who have player tendencies because girls see them as having more value. Guys who are totally unattached have no value to girls.

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    • 19d

      *Some* females.

      Then there are the ones who value him BECAUSE he has no attachment.

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    • 19d

      Truthfully, I have taken that test before. But, didn't consider it important enough to remember. lol.

      I fluctuate between Introvert and Extrovert, though I'm far more extroverted. Introverted (I think) was about 23% or something like that. Do have my nights where all I want to do is stay in.

      It's unlikely I'll remember it this time as I really don't consider it important. Not because it's not, but it's only been asked 2 or 3 times in my life; thus far.

    • 19d

      @Smmyskittles Oh, it's very important to me, because it's helped me to understand myself and the people around me.

  • Well I wanted to know a girl well before having sex with her and get a relationship with someone special. But after countless dates keep dissappearing and using me as an option until they find someone better (because tinder and other dating apps make having multiple options easy), I feel exhausted just dating for ages without feeling I get anywhere with someone.

    In short, people are really picky now so I feel like I have to change my approach and see how far things can go with someone in a short time. Doesn't make things easy as a virgin, cause most people expect you to be sexually experienced these days and put so much value on it.

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    • 19d

      Which dating sites have you tried? (P. S. Sorry you've had a bad experience).

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    • 19d

      @Smmyskittles Haha u skipped a few words there! Leg surgery, not leg replacement! Still painful after nearly a year of recovery. Stupid tumour argghhh.

      Yeah, all the time. I'd move tmro if i could but i get free rent from my dad in return for looking after his stuff and him having a place to stay when he visits from overseas. I've not been able to get f/t work and support myself. My Uni degree just made it harder it seems :/

    • 19d

      ah, that was my bad. :P They replaced you at the hospital fused with "leg surgery" in my brain and led to the 'leg replacement'.

      Well, hopefully you're okay now!

  • I think the biggest reason is how much the dating landscape has changed in the past 10 years or so with technology. With the internet exploding with dating sites and dating apps like Tinder coming out, people have more options than ever and don't even have to leave home to line up a week full of dates with different people.

    In the past, people had a lot more limited social circles, it was more difficult to meet new people and therefore a lot less dating prospects. The majority of relationships came from dating schoolmates, coworkers or friend of friends. Now people can easily date people that they would have likely never met in their life.

    I've heard from some friends that they have a hard time settling down with a partner because there's so many options and it's the whole "grass is greener on the other side" theory.

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  • cause everyone in this gernation is fucking retarded.

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  • Bacause there are so many fucked up people out there and you never know...

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  • Men are mostly afraid of commitment, with fair reasons, in divorces 90% women end up winning, they win the house, half of the man's possesions or money, they receive alimony and child support, so literally for a man, marriage is just a legal agreement that is just too risky and not worth a shot.

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  • Nobody is afraid of commitment to the right person. The only thing this generation has is a much broader choice of people to pick that right person from.

    I've been in 7 different relationships in 6 years, doesn't mean I'm a commitmentphobe, it's just none of those girls were quite what I wanted, I always ran into someone slightly better.

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  • The effects of social media, are causing more and more people my age and younger, to be more selfish, and less selfless.

    #DrunkOnHedonism

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  • People want to be "savage" and "slaying." Yes, it sound stupid but just keep on reading to find out what i actually mean. People want to show that they can be independant. Commitment is the most beautiful thing what exist in my eyes but for others (like most people) it's a sign of weakness. If you can show that you need no man or woman, you're strong/savage/slaying/pimpin or whatever. That's what they think.

    Sounds ridiculous or like i was drunk when typing this?
    Just take a look on the media today because it will show you a lot.

    They show it in media like "i can make my own money." And that's what they using but it's more than that.

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  • Study about feminism and there will be your answer.

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    • 20d

      Feminism is mostly bullshit in my opinion

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    • 19d

      @kaylaS91 You know absolutely what I'm talking about. And for you or any other woman to deny all this , really is immature , not mention an abomination unto GOD. So you go right ahead with your (sourse searching ) instead of (soul searching ) and by the way... 3 years with a guy friend and still ( NOT ) married yet?

    • 19d

      @kaylaS91 It's not a "study" he's talking about. He's saying to go and study Feminism, as a verb. What your asking for is a MASSIVE! amount of information, well beyond the scope of this webpage. Not exactly a realistic request.

      It's a well known fact that Feminism has been working for decades to destroy what they call "The Patriarchy". So start there, use Google to look up critics of Feminism and dig deep, there is countless hours of high quality content on the topic.

  • no one is 'afraid' of commitment. That's like saying "afraid" to paint the house. It isn't fear - they simply don't want to put effort into doing something with no value except 'cozy feelings'.

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    • 19d

      Your right it's not a fear of commitment and yes some people just don't want to put in effort. But there is also a lot of fear of pain.

  • A consequence of all the misogynist propaganda against feminism, aimed to hit Hillary.

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    • 19d

      To be fair she did defend a pedophile rapist and let him get away with his heinous crime. She's not exactly a humane individual.

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      King of Belgium is King Phillip. Nuff said.

  • Too many cheaters. Too many liars. Can't trust anyone.

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  • -women get tired of men and dump them for no reason very quickly
    -woman will like a bunch of stuff about a guy then do a 180 and hate all of that stuff
    -Women compete men against everything. Ex: I prefer Jeeps, no fast cars, NO European cars, NO cars are not important, NO a guy in a pickup
    Another ex: Who the man is, is the most important thing... errr she's a little short though. That's the most important thing.

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  • Because... Women are crazy and can flip go off for little to no reason. They are poor at talking things out.;-(

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  • All I want is a relationship with a cute girl but none of the women I liked were single or interested (if they were). I am not afraid of commitment. I am afraid of never getting the chance.

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  • I can agree with you. I'm much more interested in commitment, but I know a lot of people who aren't.

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  • I don't think people are afraid. I just think people see the cost/benefit analysis being worse.

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  • thank feminism. Women raised in the current environment in the USA are off limits for marrying due the bad culture they have been taught by the leftist media. Asian or Mexican raised women only for this guy

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  • it might not be embarrassment... but just a choice...

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  • Because it's gotta be with the right person. It's hard to decide!

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  • thrills, freedom... blah, blah, blah. it also doesn't help that the characters of what makes a good man has been twisted.

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  • I think it is more about not knowing what 'commitment' truly means

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  • Perhaps because it's a waste of time and money, why do you need to commit to a single person in the first place as it's impossible to know it that person is compatible with you since during your life things change. Did it once, not interested again.

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  • Because of political and economical uncertainty. This leads to social uncertainty.

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  • People don't have enough to do. I'm waiting for masculinity to die.

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  • I've only seen women make posts like this lol

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  • it might not be embarrassment... but just a choice...

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 17

  • I think it's because of mass media. They make it look like sex isn't that sacred, it's only for pleasure, they make people believe that self worth is based on their bodies, you see all celebrities getting naked or half naked to get the attention because it makes them feel worthy, it makes em feel like it's empowering em, when it's really not. Porn also makes sex look like something with only 2 meanings: dirty and exciting. There's no love in porn, you'll never see people in love there. Sex is supposed to be about love more than about excitement. People are becoming more selfish, they care only about what they can get, they want to get pleasure, but they dont want to give their heart to anyone, they're afraid, they think it's pointless. So many people just dont wanna dare to give all their love, bc even if they haven't experienced it they know that there are chances that they might get hurt as much as the actors in movies. So they prefer things like porn, prostitution, girls who are easy and get half naked.

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  • social media has turned both men and women into commitmentphobic assholes who are too afraid of missing out.

    thanks to the internet, we now have access to more people than ever before; more variety is possible, hence the fear of missing out. people upgrade each other like cell phones- they all want the shiniest, newest thing, even though the current one would suffice with a little tlc.

    i still believe in fixing things that are broken, rather than throwing them away.

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  • Who wouldn't be? People have become so desensitized to love and emotions. Everything is about NSA, ONS, friends with benefits, porn, hooking up, prostitution and other materialistic aspects of life like money and cars etc. I'm afraid that I won't find a decent man that will love me with his entire being and be (almost ) everything I've dreamed of.

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  • Pretty positive that those kinds of people are very afraid of not experiencing enough... or getting hurt.
    Not everyone who isn't in a relationshipp has commitment issues... Someone just doesn't like relationships in general, some people only want one when it's actually meaningful and special. Otherwise - it's wiser to stay single.
    Relationship for relationship's sake... doesn't make ANY sense.

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  • Not everyone in our generation is afraid of commitment, unless you're basing that statement off of the people who come to forums to bitch and moan about how unfair life is, or how evil one gender is because they got rejected by one individual.

    I've been with my boyfriend for almost three years. We're friends with a bunch of people, maybe 4-5 different couples, who have all been together since high school, so for going on 5 years.

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  • i think it's many things. people are too selfish now, and they chase too much perfection. if they don't get exactly what they want, they drop them and move onto the next person. or if they do get what they want, they get bored with it and go looking for something else. they think it should be all about what they want, without giving anything back. if they stopped being so selfish, and unrealistic, then they might appreciate the effort it takes to have a relationship. until that happens, i guess it's just friends with benefits for a lot of people. it really sucks.

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  • I feel the same, I want a relationship so bad and luckily enough so does my crush. Perhaps not with me though, but he said the other day that he is a relationship guy and only had teo so far, the shorter one being just over a year. That's so adorable and it made him even cooler.

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  • I'm not and am currently talking to... a few... that aren't afraid of it either.

    Not rushing into it, taking my time to get to know them. Why not? Rather be slow and take my time so that, looking back, I have NO regrets about it.

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  • I always wonder the same thing. Personally, I don't understand what anyone is missing out on lol I've never been like that. If I'm in a relationship I'm not like "aw man but I could have so many other experiences with someone else" My friends were like that and I'm like, nah I'm good with what I got lol

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  • Because relationships are cool, but what's the point if there's no marriage or kids? Lots of people fall out of love within a few years anyway... I used to love the idea of relationships but not anymore. They're not realistic to me.

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  • Good take andI wonder that myself. What is wrong to be in a steady relationship, mostly formen of this generation. Many factors come into play, time money, social media, committment and even romance. These times are nothing liek old times unfortunately, People are behaving more like robots than human beings, Also many people these days dont even want to have kids, therefore for many of them dating or going steady could probably mean being serious and that leads to marriage and that leads to having kids and no way many of todays generation dont want the drama, the extra effort of anything, They want to live free, and easy.

    People becoming pickier when choosing a date. Social media also have a lot to do, it is easier to meet a person online than in person and face to face. Relationships are disposable now for the above reasons. It is really sad real sad.

    For all of that Im really afraid about what this wolrd will bring to these people and us who will protect us.

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  • there have always been people who make fun of genuine feeling,. they just have the internet now so you hear them. and people who are happily in relationships don't need to yell about it.

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  • The worst thing about being in a relationship is the opening up of your heart, yes its all sunshine and roses to begin with but emotion is one of the downfalls of a relationship-causing offence/jealousy/anger emotions are what tips the balances in a relationship and through emotions it will plummet to its death. xx

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  • What are you talking about? Have you met actual members of the human race?

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  • Liberals. That's the problem.

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  • Because this is the SEX generation. Nobody wants to have something serious. Man doesn't want nothing serious because I mean is a lot of temptation this days, we saw social media, the kardashians hoes make nudity and hoenes something normal, nowadays the only things you saw in IG, Facebook, and all pages is SEX.
    So this is not a relationship era.. you better have good sex and that's all

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  • In a generation that congratulates twerking, and running round in shorts that show as much as underwear, where young boys aged like 6 are already smiled at or joked with about being players before they even know anything about that shit, where a guy looking buff or a girl half naked are now what we look up to instead of actual decent people...
    What else can we expect?

    Of course there are still normal people out there and people who still value certain things, but those people aren't as common these days, and in some cases are even laughed at! I have seen a 14 year old girl getting bullied for being a virgin fgs.

    Oh, but saying anything like this is slut shaming. It's perfectly acceptable and normal to run around half naked and never be husband/wife but instead always baby daddy/mama, or just a friends with benefits, of course.

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