I haven't seen my boyfriend in over a month. We're not in a long distance relationship. What to do?

My boyfriend and I live about an hour away from each other. Seeing one another has always been an issue, but I have been very vocal about how I don't like going a long time without spending time together. Usually only way we see each other is if I initiate it or if I get upset and basically cause a scene. It's been a month an a half since we've seen each other. about 3 weeks ago we had a very serious conversation over ft where he basically agreed to make more of an effort and make more of an initiative. He still hasn't offered to see me or at least made any type of effort to even plan anything. We're both usually free on the weekends so we do have time to actually see each other. He has time to go out with friends and do everything else that interest him but he acts like he doesn't have time to see me. Tomorrow he's going to Canada for his friends bday and he’ll be gone the whole weekend, which is just going to add more time to us not spending time together. Is it time for me to let things go, or should I wait a little more?


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What Guys Said 2

  • He seems to be putting nothing into the relationship and only does things when you bring it up and he'll come visit and be attentive then he'll be back to his old ways is what im getting from this. He has no intiative in making this relationship work. I'd end things.

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  • i would do one of two things. one, wait till he gets back and meet him to confront him about it. two, if he does not want to do that, wait till he goes to see his friends, and meet him there. make sure that you get an answer or see him before letting it go.

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What Girls Said 3

  • An hour isn't that far at all these days. If you were 15 maybe. But you're adults.
    My boyfriend and I were 2.5 hours away (by car, let alone public transport) when we first got together.. And we still saw each other every single weekend since the day we met.
    Now I'm not saying everyone has to do that obviously etc etc, some people don't even want that. Just saying, it is possible. As you said, you're both relatively free on weekends and he has time for friends. And I don't believe the idea that friends come first because a girlfriend/boyfriend is supposed to be the number 1, you should dedicate the same, if not a bit more, time to them that you do your friends.

    I agree with akadatank. He's making no efforts. He seems to do the bare minimum when you throw a fit (which I think is justified in your situation), and then goes back to his ways. I would say have a serious conversation and outline what he should do and what you expect. But it seems you've done that.

    So yes, I think when he gets back, organise to go see him, dump him, grab any of your stuff and move on to someone who appreciates you. And will make efforts to include you in their life.

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  • You need to let it to. An hour really isn't that far. Especially if you're both free on the weekends... it doesn't kill anyone to drive half way and meet up. If he truly cared about you... he's be a bit more willing to see you or at least make an attempt after not seeing you for a month and a half. He doesn't care about your feelings. Chances are, he's waiting for you to cut things off so he doesn't seem like the jerk. And you'll know exactly how he feels if you say things are over. He will either fight for your relationship or not be phased at all. His reaction should be your answer.

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  • I'd find a new boyfriend.

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