How long should you know someone before you ask them out, nothing fancy just coffee?


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What Girls Said 8

  • It depends on how you ask them out, asking them out for coffee can just seem like a simple, normal thing if you don't stress it or overthink it. If you meet someone and fancy them & you talk for some time and exchange numbers, its ok to grab a coffee together, so it can be directly after meeting someone, but usually people don't do that. Its more about how friendly you are with them rather than how long you know them. If you've had more than like 5 conversations i'm sure its fine to just be like "Hey want grab a coffee together?"

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  • Clicked with a man after talking for about 3/4 days. He asked me out :] Upcoming date.

    So, it varies. I've had men I've known for a while that took forever to ask me out. & Then there are a few that it was under a week or so.

    When you feel comfortable with them and go "you know what? I REALLY like you" <- Ask her out ASAP

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    • 14d

      sounds like it'd be though to do.

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    • 14d

      oh wait. it was confusing because I replied to your comment about the note and I also left a primary answer on this thread.

      Yea. The thing about the note. I dont know what to tell you. Everyone I asked even my land lord thought that those girls were just bizarre. The only thing we could think of is that they didn't remember asking me to the bar. Regardless, Im never going to leave a note again. If you disagree with my little story, then go talk to the girls about treating guys a little better. Im just telling him not to leave notes and get reported for stalking when he's just trying to be a boy.

      Sorry about confusion

    • 14d

      Asker - I have 2 friends that have met their boyfriends on Tinder. One is new the other are going on a year (this month).

      So, you can find someone serious on an app.

  • It varies for everyone. If it was just for a coffee, I'd say a few days or weeks. Whatever you do, don't wait too long and leave it for years. Or she will have lost interest by then. I've had a few guys take non verbal interest in me before. One of which waited 2 years before he even decided that he wanted to try talking to me. Of course I had lost interest in him and moved on.

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    • 14d

      you mean the interest goes away?

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    • 14d

      how do you get the courage to say something.

    • 13d

      If you think of another situation that includes meeting and befriending new people. Like starting a new workplace. You'll want to make friends, so that your not on your own all the time and have other people to talk to. Don't treat this situation that much different, take one step at a time and try some general chit chat with her. Stop over thinking it like you're doing just now. You don't have to ask her out on the first day you talk to her. If you keep over thinking it, it will just make you even more reluctant to attempt a conversation with her.

  • This is not a manual. There isn't a rule book:
    Step one talk for a week or 3 months
    Step two wait till the sun rises to ask her for coffee

    This is more on ur social skills rather then when is the right time. And also if u paid attention see the sign of interest

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  • depends

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  • dont wait too long, its just coffee :)

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    • 14d

      when you have no dating experience it is hard to not wait b

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    • 14d

      rejection scares everyone. it's in our dna. there's nothing wrong with you. but you need to pick up your balls and go for it!!

      Seriously every "no" is closer to a "yes"

    • 14d

      you think a girl could like me

  • 30 seconds. REALLY.

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  • A couple of days or so. There are no rules.

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    • 14d

      I get what you mean, but what is socially appropriate?

What Guys Said 15

  • Just a coffee? A few hours.

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    • 14d

      that quickly

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    • 14d

      I guess so, I just would feel weird asking for coffee so soon.

    • 14d

      Because some imagine weird things.

  • I've gotten girls to agree to a meeting on tinder after about 5-7 texts. If you start out texting her with a decent first conversation (any kind of back and forth conversation at all is decent) just wait until the point where there's not much else to say and randomly ask her if she wants to do this thing or that thing.

    In case you were wondering when there's not much else to say, its the point in the conversation at which you would ordinarily become bored if you werent already talking to a cute girl with the purpose of asking her out. lol. So its like "do i really want to say this next thing?" vs "am I just delaying the point at which I might be accepted for a date?"

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  • If you've only just met them? As soon as you can.

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  • There's no minimum. You can ask a girl out the minute you meet her if you want.

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  • No need to know them at all.

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  • Negative time frame. You don't even need to know someone to ask them for coffee

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  • Right away? I mean, how else can you get to know them?

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  • I don't follow any standard, if we click, I ask, unless she asks first.

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  • First you have to seduce them... read 50 Shades of Gray and get some ideas.

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  • Ask them for coffee so you get to know them

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  • Meh didn't know there was a timetable. My record is 2.5 hours from meeting to fucking.

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  • How long do you need to know someone till you realise you like them?

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    • 14d

      how long is acceptable to ask her though.

    • 13d

      As soon as they show they are confortable with you speaking with them, as in any human relation.

  • As soon as possible guys ask girls out all the time and if you don't so is ASAP someone else could snap them up, I once waited for the right moment with a girl I really liked for two month as soon as I plucked up the courage she started seeing this other guy

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    • 14d

      that has to stink

  • Maybe about three months or more?

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    • 14d

      interesting, lots of people said short time frames.

    • 14d

      If u only intended for being a friend with him/her, U could ask him/her out as soon as knowing each other. If ur intention is for a relationship, take time to flirt him/her through message, phone and face to face if possible. Don't take it hard, it's only my opnion anyway. :)

  • I'd say about 7 hours if you like having sex and hate the friend zone.

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    • 14d

      no sex that early.

    • 14d

      Not what i mean, anything more and you;d come off as slow, you'd then never have a chance of having sex with her ever.

    • 14d

      ah okay

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