There's a guy who I've liked for a while and I've never been sure if he liked me or not. Partly because I never assume, and partly because he knows I have a little girl and many guys can be a bit put off by that, which I do understand.
We have a mutual close friend, that's how I know him, and we were both round there last night and he asked if my daughter's dad was in the picture and yes in that he spent time with her, and then he said that if it was just me, he'd have liked to get to know me, but he doesn't want to get into anything with an ex hanging around. ( He isn't my ex, we were friends with benefits)
I did tell this guy that my ex (who isn't my ex) dates other people and that he wouldn't do anything because it's none of his business, but he said it was too much potential drama.
There's no drama though, and why would he just assume? Even in the unlikely event that there would be drama, he could still walk away then. My daughter's dad is a pretty chilled out guy, he may even have liked him.
Do people really look at separated parents and think all circumstances are the same?
Most Helpful Guy
Look at it from his point of view.
What reason would he (or most guys) have to risk it, when he can pick from plenty of other eligible women who don't have kids? You have to give him a good reason to date you with that extra baggage. I'm also going to assume your kid comes first, so he's started off at a disadvantage already.
I agree not all single parents are the same but, they have one thing in common in that they have PROVEN that they make bad choices, especially if they're young single parents.3
Most Helpful Girl
Not all single parents come with baggage. But some do. I think part of the problem is that you are permanently tied to the other parent. Even if you have no interest in them, you still have a history with that person. Now in your case it sounds like it's all good. But any guy who is going to date you isn't going to know what is going on with your ex.
When they have plenty of other options in the dating world, that can seem like too much to bother with. I know that sounds mean. But that's the reality. You have to find people who are willing to look past it. There are definitely people who can and will. I think you just have to get to know guys on a deeper level before dating them. Once they find out that you and the dad are on good terms, but not interested in one another at all then I think they will relax a bit.
Try dating other single parents too. Don't write them off. They will understand your situation the best. It's hard for someone without kids to understand what it's like. They won't understand why you can't just be spontaneous and take a trip somewhere, they won't understand when your kid is sick and you have to cancel. Some will understand. But it will be hard.0