Is there some viable reason that so many men don't want to take women on dates anymore? Do they just not realize what dates actually are?

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17d Social anxiety?

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I love taking women on dates but there are 4 main reasons I can think of off the top of my head as to why men don't want to take women on dates anymore:

    1. It's too much work. Men feel like they have to jump through hoops just to make a women feel even remotely interested and even then they may be hot and cold, or play too many games.

    2. Linked to number 1. Guys don't feel as if their efforts are appreciated. They don't have to be rewarded with a date if the girl really is not interested but some girls will straight up act like straight up bitches even if the guy is genuine and sincere with his approaches. Simply put, some girls these days have too much of a bad attitude. They are not worth the effort.

    3. This current generation are more into hook ups and fwbs and some girls make it too easy for a guy (that's not to say they're easy, just means they would prefer sexual relations rather than being courted) to get what he wants, or what he thinks he wants. Many guys will have sex with a girl if it's easy even if that's not what their main aim was. Then they'll try and find another girl to date after deeming the first one isn't datable after putting out on the first date.

    4. Lots of guys just don't know how to ask a girl out these days. Whether it's because they are shy or awkward or have anxiety.

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    • 17d

      Nice! Ty:)

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    • 8d

      You're welcome:)

Most Helpful Girl

  • More and more people seem to be just after sex so it starts of as a date and could turn into a one night stand. The ones who are scared of commitment especially.

    Some men think that all they have to do to get a woman interested and maintain that interest is give them successions of looks and the occasional standing next to. But are never willing to at least break the ice with us so that we can meet them halfway and eventually ask them out when we think they would be potential boyfriend material. So therefore guys like this don't put enough effort in, in the first place. So they expect the woman to do all the work for them instead. If they don't do it. Then the women are left to read body language and are left second guessing as to whither this guy is attention seeking or genuine. Its s bit one sided if they aren't even capable of any verbal communication and we have to do all of the talking for them.

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What Guys Said 16

  • I think many men are tired of working for it, putting the effort and not getting anything out of it, or worse, the girl not putting any effort.
    I think a big problem is that women want to be pampered, be treated amazingly and all that, which I understand, but they don't do anything for the guy.
    You hear all these women say "he has to ask me out" "he has to pick me up" "he has to pay", ok, but what do YOU do?
    As a guy, I've seen myself in situations where I do everything for her, and she does nothing for me. Then when you stop talking to them and move on, they come back asking why you left.

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    • 17d

      What is it that she is not doing?

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    • 16d

      No many women do not do that and feel the rest is "owed" to them for sharing their time...

  • Dates are them little fruit things that grow on palm trees right?

    I think that dating still happens, it's perhaps just not spoken of as much as it once was. Social media has played a role in changing some aspects of the dating scene, as has sexual awareness and sexual liberation, not to mention the move towards equality.

    Dating in its traditional form may not be as present, but people still date otherwise most would likely never form relationships at all.

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  • dude put yourself in out shoes, you're a young guy with almost no money, you have school, you need to find a good job, you have to go out with friends and pay bills and buy stuff for yourself.

    now think about it for a bit, plenty of women out there if every woman we ask out we have to take on dates and buy stuff for her it will not end well for us, why would any sane man take a girl he just met to a resturant and spend a large sum of money on her , he doesn't know if she's worth it or not, she hasn't really proved that she's a keeper , until i find a girl i truly want to keep then i have no desire to spend lots of money on girls.

    also some girls will act slutty and get in bed with men on first date while making others wait, trust me it happened to me, no idea why they do it but it sucks and iam not willing to put up with such behaviour, i am not spending 100$ to get the same pussy my friend got for free.

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    • 17d

      What if she asks you out? I understand the money situation.

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    • 17d

      No one likes that lol. Bragging is unattractive.

    • 17d

      yeah i agree even guys who brag are annoying as well

  • Sure. Standard, traditional dates mean the woman evaluates you based on how much money you spend on her, how valuable your car is, and what you can offer her in the future. The woman gets evaluated mainly on her looks and willingness to sleep with the guy, proportionate to how much money he spent on her.

    Yuck!

    I gave up on traditional dating at age 17 and never looked back, and am happier for it, without doubt.

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  • I take my girl on a date at least once a week. Like out to dinner or something. It's a good habit. The weather's cooler so I can wear a nice dress jacket. I don't wear a tie... It cost a lot of money and I honestly can't afford it on a student's wages. Still worth it.

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  • Well the common theme on GaG is that they don't want to pay for it lol.

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    • 17d

      What if she offers?

    • 17d

      Then they'll somehow be emasculated.

      I don't know in real life guys still take girls out on dates lol.

      Although the advent of dating apps has definitely watered down the number of dates between people. In days gone by, you used to get to know someone in person THEN ask them out on a date and find out more intimate things. These days you ask all the intimate questions via text and dates turn into hookup opportunities.

    • 17d

      Good to know, ty:) Makes sense!

  • When you talk about dates I am assuming you are talking about in western culture.
    I think its pretty obvious why most men are just sick and tired of these women who expect the man to constantly keep on picking up the tab. There is only a small percentage of men who can't get dates so that's not it. It just gets annoying when you have to deal with these self entitled women eventually it tears your confidence up too. I wouldn't mind holding doors and shit for a woman but she better not think that she is entitled to those things. I mean sometimes I hold doors for guys so don't act like those things are only reserved for you girls and you know who you are.

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    • 17d

      They don't need to spend a wad if cash ir keep picking up the tab. They just need to ask her for coffee or something once.

    • 17d

      Well eventually they will want you take them to a fancy restaurant or at the very least spend something somewhat expensive on her.

  • Reasons may vary, yet most common one I heard is that usually it's not worth the investment (what, did you really think men do it genuinely out of chivalrous reasons? It's never been like this, ever) and way too much hassle for getting very little (if anything at all) in return, as nowadays girls just take it for granted, as if they're entitled to it in their minds.

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  • I love date nights or mini weekend get aways.

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  • While I do take girls on dates... it becomes a waste of time when you learn she let you take her out, but is sleeping with the guys hat don't. The guys who don't take girls on dates get laid more than ones that do (or it really really seems that way) so what's the point? Taking a girl on a date leads to the friend zone where no date leads more to friends with benefits. If girls responded different, we would act different!

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  • Lack of resources or not enough return of investment.

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    • 17d

      Wow, now women have to produce ROI- I am so glad I have been married for so long.

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    • 17d

      @miamigirl1970 thank you that is kind of you :).

    • 17d

      You are most welcome!

  • Lack of incentive.

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  • The men who want to date girls sincerely don't get a chance , and the ones who get a chance are only interested in sex. So girls need to go out of their comfort zone and find the men who are capable of making the date a special one.

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    • 16d

      You mean she should take the initiative and ask the guy out? Wouldn't he be put off?

    • 16d

      She can either ask a good guy to go on a date with her or she should change her selection process to allow a good guy to approach her. Because up to now , she is attracting only bad guys. So change in the selection criteria could help her find a better match.

  • As another user just said it's way too much work these days. Honestly rather be happy spending time with my bros or doing a hobby.

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  • I have never had a girlfriend and it was not my choice in all but 2 scenarios. The two were set ups that didn't click. I have been rejected over 800 times and doubt I will be able to get a girlfriend judging my present by my past.

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  • No, guys want to date girls still. Pretty girls.

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What Girls Said 3

  • I think a lot of guys equate taking a girl/woman on a date and paying for a dinner equates to paying for sex. At least that's what their posts on here lead me to believe.

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  • I don't think GaG is very representative of society at large in this respect.

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    • 17d

      Maybe you're right lol. I'm just curious.

    • 17d

      I see way too many guys on here claiming MGTOW or getting mad about paying for a date. IRL i have not once run into any guy like these that i see on here. I could speculate as to why the difference, but it'd only be speculation.

    • 17d

      I think it's just lack of class and social comfort but I'm trying to see if it's more.

  • I believe men have lost their traditional courting senses.

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    • 17d

      They used to bring you flowers. Now they just want to give yoi dick pics lol.

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    • 17d

      I think it's more certain women being used to not being treated well anymore, so when you do it you stand out. Unfortunately not often in a positive way, or they think u don't have anything to offer, so you bring flowers...

    • 17d

      @Paultripp How sad! If a guy doesn't treat me well I figure he's no good, the opposite.

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