Should I tell him I'm bi?

I've been seeing this guy for a while, I honestly don't know if/how serious things between us are gonna get, but he doesn't know I'm bi/have had flings with a few girls and I'm kinda hesitant to tell him. I feel like if we get any more serious I'll have to tell him anyway and if it's a dealbreaker for him, I'm just gonna be more badly hurt. So, do I tell him now?

  • Yes
    89% (16)80% (12)85% (28)Vote
  • No
    11% (2)20% (3)15% (5)Vote
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Updates:
20d I forgot to mention the cons of telling him now... I don't want to say it and then if things end quickly or badly have him just spread that info around. My parents don't know, only my few closest friends do actually, and I really don't wanna come out. We're still getting to know each other, I don't know if I trust him...

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What Guys Said 7

  • Same question I'm thinking about if I start talking to a girl 😑

    Sorry I can't help.

    You obviously should be open and honest, but that puts you in the predicament of possibly missing out on a great love.

    Yes is the moral way
    No is selfish, but I understand completely

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  • If he finds out later it would be worse.

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  • yes and it would probably be a turn off for most guys

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  • you should...

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  • He may ask for a threesome.

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  • You shouldn't tell him until you know the relationship is serious. Also, be prepared for him to ask for a threesome. That is mainly why guys are okay with bi girls.

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  • yes he needs to know ur really a lesbo and just using him

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What Girls Said 11

  • Hmm, it's probably best that he knows. I'd feel odd keeping my bisexuality a secret, it'd feel like I was hiding something from him like it was a bad thing, y'know? Besides, it helps you weed out the people who just think bisexuality means you'll have a threesome.

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  • Ok so... I mean sometimes I don't understand why people feel the need to always say if they're bi/trans/queer/lesbian/gay/etc. like, you found a guy, you're attracted, its not like you need to tell him for confirmation or for permission, because you wouldn't tell a guy "I have 2 parents", its unnecessary and its not like being bi is a bad thing that needs to be immediately confessed. If something pops up, feel free to say it, but I guess it would be a good "tester" because if he likes you, he won't care, but if it hasn't been that long you haven't given him time to really genuinely like you, so maybe wait a bit, then it won't feel so sudden to him and he'd care less, but he shouldn't care at all.

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  • If he asks, go for it but I don't see a reason to otherwise (unless he's a homophobe). Nobody puts time aside to tell their SO that they're straight. Plus if you're happy and in love with him why take the time to specifically tell him you like girls lol. Keep it casual like any other fact about you. If he asks, answer. If not, go about your day like usual.

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  • Lies are always a wrong choice.

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  • Yes you need to tell him. I know I would be pissed if I found out after the fact that the guy I was dated also sucks dicks. That is a deal breaker. I would be out of there.

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  • I think he'll probably be excited and want a threesome

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  • You shouldn't tell him if you're not fully open. If you trust the guy then yes but you don't fully trust him so I wouldn't do It.

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  • Should probably tell him, but reassure him that you're with him. He might just think that it's hot.

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  • yes, you should
    I am too

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  • I wouldn't tell him, I mean id let it go and if it ever comes up I'd admit it of course
    I wouldn't lie, but I don't see the point in telling him just because, he'll think about it.. probably a lot and draw conclusions, but if he gets to know you well and someday learns from you that you've been with women and like both then he won't have those stupid prejudices about threesomes and thinking that you may ditch him for a chick

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  • Yes tell him, but when u notice the relationship is serious. Because trust and honestly takes a big and important factor in a relationship. It could be a deal breaker but it could be worse if he finds out by himself and not from u. It all depends on how and whenever u feel comfortable with

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