I'm falling for a girl but I already have a girlfriend and I don't know what to do. Please help?

I've been dating my first and only girlfriend for about 2 years and 8 months. I love her so much and she means so much to me and I mean so much to her. She does so many little things for me that would otherwise stress me out. I'm very close with her family and she is very close with mine. This past summer I joined a swim team where I met this new girl. In about September I began having feelings for this girl. She is super nice and always has a smile on her face. I've started to fall for her and now I can't stop thinking about her. She always makes excuses to be near me and talk with me. She also flirts a lot with me. Her and her friends have dropped lots of hints that she likes me and that she wants to be asked out. I'm not sure if she knows about my girlfriend but I know that some of her friends know. I feel so torn about this as for the longest time I felt that my current girlfriend was the one. I don't want to ruin my relationship for nothing but I also feel that a relationship with this other girl could be even better. Im not the kind of guy that will cheat so if I'm gonna go out with this other girl I need to break up with my current one first but I also have no idea how I would do that either.


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What Girls Said 15

  • You Love your girlfriend and You really like the other Girl. Your girlfriend is %80 bc of your love for her and her love for you, she has a lot to offer and you have history with her. The other girl is 20% bc you have feelinsg for her (you didn't say you love her, you just really like her), she makes you smile, She is so nice and you keep thinking about her bc you like her. Now which one are you willing to give up? Your 80%, which would be a big mistake or Your 20%? i can see if you were having a lot of problems with your girlfriend and she did something so horrible for you to leave her for this woman, but that is not the case at all. Stay with Your girlfriend. She is the one and risking to lose that to a girl you just like a lot is not wise bc it will be hard to find another woman like your girlfriend who is 80% of everything you want in a woman and have. So, i would stop hanging around the other girl and flirting back or even putting yourself in situations where you can feel for her more or even go to far and risk losing your 80%. Be the great boyfriend and man you are and control those urges and realize that what you got at home is enough and to not be taken for granted. Love is rare, like is common.

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  • Ok. First if u have a girlfriend u should have told the other girl that. And two u need to decide which one u want. Because u can't have ur cake and eat it. Besides, if u already developing feelings for another means there is something in ur relationship that is not fill (maybe ur relationship now is rutinary or together by comfort) but u need to device first what u want. Once u are ready and decide u want to be with the other girl, then break up with ur girlfriend (and don't immediately go to the other girl otherwise ur girlfriend will think the worst of u). OR if u truly want ur girlfriend, then tell the other girl to back off because u have girlfriend

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  • I saw this one quote once and it was something like "if you fall for 2 girls, go for the second one, because if you really loved the first you wouldn't have fallen for the second."

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  • Personally I think it's stupid to go throwing the past 2 years and 8 months with your current girlfriend away for this girl that you've only just met. I think that you should perhaps tell said girl that you have a girlfriend, and maybe she'll stop flirting or change her tune towards you. If not, and you still develop stronger feelings for this girl, then you need to talk to your girlfriend about it.

    At the end of the day it's your decision, but you need to ask yourself if this girl is worth the 2 years and 8 months you've spent with your girlfriend, all the memories you've made etc.

    Hope this helps!!

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    • 19d

      So true. He needs to figure out if he loves his girlfriend enough to see who he wants. Best to tell the other girl that you have a girlfriend and that you would like for y'all to not cross the line of friendship.

  • Hm, you have to remember that you don't know what a relationship with this girl will be like. She might be more exciting now because she's all shiny and new, but 2 years down the road you'll probably find her a lot more boring, like you might now with your current girlfriend. You might go through this whole thing all over again if you find yet another girl who's better for you. Just keep in mind that you probably have rose-tinted glasses with this new girl and that she may not even be better for you than your current girlfriend. If you have some really great reasons why she is, then it most likely only shows that you're having trouble with your current relationship.

    Remember to break things off with your girlfriend if it's not working between her and you, or if you can't stop yourself from seeing this new girl.

    It's great you're getting advice about this. It's clear you do feel guilty, and it's okay and normal to be attracted to others during a relationship. It's only "wrong" to act on that attraction.

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  • Let me tell you one thing

    You don't fall in love with others if you are truly in love with your girlfriend. If you love two, pick the second.

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  • Spend a time with your girlfriend, a really good quality time, one that you try to put all your heart/love into from the past years you've been dating. If you still have feelings for the other girlafter this, then maybe you need to talk to your girlfriend.

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  • Your so young. Be single. It's not fair to your girlfriend that you have another girl on your mind.

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  • break up with your girlfriend, you both deserve to be with someone you really want to be with and really wants to be with you

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  • you should stick to being single

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  • I think you might love the familiarity of her. She's your first and only girlfriend for nearly three years! You might just have love for her at this point. I'd break up with her. It would be better for the both of you. You're REALLY young, and you should be more experimental before settling down. Plus, if you really "loved" her, no one else would occupy your mind.

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  • spend more time with your girlfriend so you can focus more on her than the other girl you met on the swim team. This will help you to get your mind off her and go for what you want as you and your girlfriend must have an amazing relationship/chemistry. Why would you want to break up with her as you have been going out for 2 years and 8 months, im sure you have such good memories with her.

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  • Well find hot which one of them make you happier but remember once you dump your girl for another one and she says no you are on your own

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  • Gosh well aren't you a piece of shit.

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    • 18d

      How is he a piece of shit lol. He never loved the first girl truly if he managed to fall in the love with the second girl.

  • If you feel that the other girl would make you happy go for it😕 But I'd hate to be your girlfriend

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What Guys Said 5

  • then reak up with your girlfriend or else that will be cheating

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  • Fuck them both. Just don't get caught (ie talk about it to anyone for starters). You're just feeling what most (or possibly all) guys do: the urge to spread their seed as wide as possible. That urge/instinct will usually override any emotional crap ever invented. Personally I just go with the flow rather than fight it and end up with missed opportunities.

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  • Stop all contact with the new girl and continue to be with the one you're already with

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  • This is a no brainer
    and the answer is (drumroll).."new is always better" bam!

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  • I have bad news for you, you already cheated her with feelings.

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