Would you date your best friend's ex?





  • Yes, my best friend doesn't like him anymore
    4% (7)11% (13)7% (20)Vote
  • No, it would feel like betraying my best friend
    61% (95)57% (65)59% (160)Vote
  • I don't care as long as i like that person
    5% (8)10% (12)7% (20)Vote
  • I would ask for my best friend's permission first
    30% (46)22% (25)27% (71)Vote
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Updates:
19d Thank you for sharing your opinions.
I now think that it would be more sensible to ask permission to my friend than to do it behind their back, and like most of you said, friends come first.

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What Guys Said 46

  • Honestly, I think of it this way.. now that I'm older, of course, and I've had more of an opportunity to solidify my sense of morality based on a wider universe than the limited events once encounters in high school.

    If there's a client who didn't end up liking my best friend's law firm, and they come knocking on my door, ready to drop $30k as a retainer, and want me to represent them, why would I say "no" to that opportunity?

    If there's a real estate investment at a cap. rate of 7%+, but my friend doesn't have enough money to jump on it, but I do and I can, why wouldn't I take it?

    If there's someone out there in the marketplace that is willing to accept what value I bring to the table, and gives me access to the kind of genetic qualities that I value highly, as well as being emotionally and psychologically tolerable, and financially contributing to a long-term child-raising relationship together.. why the fuck would I pass on that just because she didn't accept the value that my best friend was bringing to the table?

    If that's what "friendship" is, then count me out. What kind of friend is my "friend" if he wants me to pass up on good opportunities for myself just because he couldn't have them himself? That sounds like jealousy and envy to me.

    Morality is not "competing" with my best friend over those opportunities. But if he's tried and he can't seize the opportunity, it's no longer competing. "Loyalty" is being there for your friends, which includes being stronger and a source of strength they can lien on and rely on in times of crisis and need. If I keep giving up on opportunities, how the hell am I going to have the strength to be there for my friends for when they really need me?

    This whole high school system of morality surrounding an unwritten code of exclusive rights regarding a potential sexual/relationship partner because.. like a dog... your best friend peed on it first and now it's his spot.. is ridiculous.

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  • If your asking a guy, and they really are best friends, then the answer will be No Way. There is bro code that prohibits a guy from even asking a girl out that another guy has "claimed". Even if that guy doesn't ever ask her out.
    I don't know how women are. I know you don't have the level of friendships that men do.

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  • No, it is wrong, even if you ask permission. If you ask and your friend says "no," then what happens?

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  • Probably not. I wouldn't like my friend to do that with my ex, so I shouldn't do it either. Also, while my best friend's ex is very hot, she also happens to be a multiple cheater. Not somebody I can build a long-term relationship with.

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  • Yes!! I don't personally see it as a big deal as some others.
    But upon being asked not to, then no.

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  • No, but not because of morality. I just wouldn't like dating a girl who I know has fucked people I see on a daily basis.

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  • I would not. I've dated the ex gf's of close friends before, but not my bestfriend. To me there are too many girls out there for you to pick your best friends ex. Unless she's amazing, you have perfect chemistry and you think it's love then ok. But as a general rule it's hands off policy.

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  • If it's just a crush or I like her, I wouldn't do it unless he is okay with it. If I love her, and my feelings for her are much more powerful then I wouldn't let anything stand in the way, but I'd want him to be okay with it. I wouldn't want to hide it, keep any secrets or anything.

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  • I won't put my stuff where my friends' stuff has been... too weird.

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  • No. It's just a bad idea.

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  • Violation of the bro code. absolutely not

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  • You're 15 so it might be less damaging for your friend or she might not care as a lot of people jump from people to people st that age. So less emotional connection.

    For me though, I must cut ties with my friend first before going out with her. Otherwise it's cheating on your friend

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  • no, most likely not

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  • Nah, companions before romantic interests.

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  • Straight from the BroCode website.

    49: It is never acceptable for a Bro to sleep with another Bro’s ex.

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  • I wouldn't do that. That's a dick move.

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  • Been there done that.

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  • zzzz auto scroll thing made me misclick. But no, I wouldn't

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  • thats a no go teritory, reagardless of what he feels now ro what he says or done, his ex is his ex and iam not touching that at all.

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  • I've done that before, was no big deal.

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  • No way. As much as I might have feelings for a best friend's ex, it's not right to date them. Even if I asked for my friend's permission, I wouldn't trust him to tell me how he really feels.

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  • nope

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  • Never. Not even if I had his permission. It'd be too weird.

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  • Well, it depends. If it was highschool love ieg and it was really meaningless, then no. But if they were serious and/or my friend has feelings for her, then no.

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  • Um, no. She would probably be his ex for a good reason.

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  • Only the terrible disloyal kind of people would do that.

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  • No. that's against the rules

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  • No, i wouldn't care to date a best friends ex. I think it's just a bad idea.

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  • I have a few times, yeah.

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  • No because the bro code is real..

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What Girls Said 34

  • I would speak to my best fried about it and see whether they were comfortable with me doing so, if she wasn't then obviously I'd stay away. I'd probably stay away anyway to be honest, I don't like the idea of it much.

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  • Yes, if she was ok with it. If she has no feelings for him anymore and it's not like they hate each other (I have a hard time believing I'd fall for someone my best friend hates), then there should be no issues. I don't think you can have "dibs" like that on another person for the rest of your life.

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  • My best friend is dating my ex and I was kinda mad at first but then after a while I didn't care. I would date my friends ex unless he had done something horrible to my friend.

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  • Never! That's a sort of unspoken friendship code. It's a boundary I'd never cross. Whether she hated him or still cared about him... it would be a betrayal either way

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  • I would discuss it with your friend but at your age it's probably not going to go well for any of you.

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  • I've done that. Even though she said it would be okay if we got together, she hated on me for the whole relationship and even months after. Like wtf girl if you don't want me to date him then tell me, but like this was just stupid. Needless to sa<, we aren't as close anymore. I advise against it.

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  • Clit's over dick's bruh, Absolute Not!

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  • Hell nah! Friends before guys. Friends could last forever and guys will come and go until u find "the one"

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  • i just think its weird because... i dont know they would have been together and after that seeing my friend would be awkward knowing i am with her ex with whom she was intimate and everything.

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  • I have a guy best friend but I'm straight and he is too so no lol. If I had a girl best friend then, No I wouldn't ever stoop down to that level.

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  • friend's exes are a biiig no no no no no

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  • nope

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  • I find all her exes ugly except for one. So maybe.

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  • NOOOOOOO!

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  • No, that's such a foul thing to do. If my "friend" ever asked me that, I'd want rip her head off.

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  • Never

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  • If I were still friends with her and wanted to remain friends with her, then I would discuss it with her first before doing anything with him

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  • i wouldn't even be interested in her ex... ever.

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  • No. It's just one of those things that you shouldn't do. There's so many fish in the sea, why go for someone your best friend dated? I can only see it being acceptable if your friend is a hoe

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  • It would depend on how long they dated and how serious they were.

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  • hell to the no lol

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  • N E V E R lmao

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  • Probably not but more because it'd creep me out. I don't want to date someone my best friend has slept with.

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  • No..

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  • i have but i asked for her permission

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  • Never.

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  • it is magical thinking . i believe in magic . (and i am leaving it just at that) .

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    • 19d

      please ignore this comment . i posted it in the wrong opinion .

  • sounds like a wrong idea

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  • I would ask for permission but I haven't been attracted to a best friends ex like that

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  • if she says yes then k... but i would never go behind her back

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