When I was younger, it was all about love. I didn't care if he had -$200 in the back. I was all about love. Now that I'm older, its like he must have his own money. I feel bad because it feels like I'm losing myself because I never thought money will be that important in a relationship. It has always been strictly about love for me. Am I wrong for wanting him to be somewhat financially stable? And how do I get back to not caring about how much he has as long as I love him?
When I was younger. I didn't care if a man was financially stable, but the older I get. its a must that's he's financially stable. Am I wrong?
What Guys Said 21
Not wrong to want someone who's financially stable as long as you don't say that because you want to use his money. If you're stable too, it's normal to want someone who is also stable. Plus, if you want to get married and/or have kids, you would want to do this with someone who is financially stable, I want the same out of a girl.
Also, it says a lot about someone if they're make enough money to be independent and not struggle every end of the month. Usually people that hustle and work hard tend to be more financially stable, and at least personally, that's an attractive trait.
But if you just want someone with money because you wanna use their money and not work, then that's wrong.2
I think it's ok caring about financials if you plan to build up a home with the guy. I also know for sure this is totally common. A girl up to 25 (or whenever she decides to settle) will choose a guy she find sexually appealing, attractive and handsome for having a good time with him. Later on she will start looking for a guy who seems a good prospect for a father. How handsome or how good in bed he is doesn't matter that much anymore. Because the significant aspect is being reliable.
I have seen a couple of girls suddenly changing the kind of guy they were dating after getting near to 30 years old.0
No, you are not wrong. You are very smart. Love doesn't pay the bills!!!1
Its about both too be honest. The thing is you need money to have the things you want in life like materialistic things but then on the other hand love is priceless and a very strong emotion. I see it like this. Money doesn't define a person's personality or how they are plus what happens if you guys broke up and he made all the money? Where would you go? What would you do?0
Well, i think too a guys got to have some money to be with a girl
we don't see the girl as materialistic or a gold-digger but we want
do our part to be in a relationship with a girl.0
i don't see that as a problem at all. you're just being practical as we all need stability so we don't worry about having a roof over our heads or food on the table.0
Wanting a financially stable man is very healthy and not something to be ashamed off.
But if he needs to have a Ferrari or want a guy with a private jet then you madam or a gold digger Which I don't think is you0
Its fine as long as you're not using em for his money0
Nope. Makes sense0
as long as you are financially stable yourself then its all ok.1
You and every other woman on earth thinks the same
Only naive girls say money doesn't matter
Humans crave stability it's a natural thing,0
it's normal. girl's like it when a guy has money0
This is just... normal.1
If you need to know how much money he has before you are very interested in him, then if he lost his job at some point in the relationship, which is highly likely in a long term relationship, then you would leave if you value money too much.
It's better to find someone that you like who they are as a person, then if they have money, that is just a good benefit, but not to like them BECAUSE they have money. Think about it. If you lost your job, would you want your man to just leave you?
You can help assure your family's financial stability by working yourself and putting money away in a savings, so that isn't so much of an issue.
That is one of the reasons why I won't date women my age. They usually tend to value money more than the person. That is one of the reasons why I divorced my ex wife.0
Just like every other woman. There's nothing you can do it's in your DNA.2
What Girls Said 7
First, you have to make up yr mind about what you actually want. Because you're talking about 2 different things here, at the same time.
The head question is about "being financially stable"... but, in the paragraph, you mentioned "caring about HOW MUCH he has".
These are NOT the same thing.
• Financial STABILITY is... the ability to NOT GO BROKE. It's the ability to MANAGE money well, and to live within one's means, while saving up a decent amount for rainy-day scenarios.
• "How much he has" is basically unrelated to "financial stability". There are plenty of rich people who go broke because they're not financially STABLE at all... and there are also plenty of financially stable people with modest incomes.
You just need to be honest with yrself, here. A lot of people, unfortunately, use "financially stable" as a euphemism for "wealthy" -- and that's going to fuck up yr judgment here, if you're making the same mistake.
Financial STABILITY -- the ability to live within one's means, and not to spend oneself into insurmountable debt -- is absolutely an attractive quality. If you want to have a family with someone, this quality is NECESSARY, unless you're going to inherit billions of dollars, or something.
WEALTH, on the other hand, is certainly not necessary -- but, you might decide that wealth is important to you.
If you do, then, don't bullshit about it, and don't cover it as "financial stability" -- just be honest.
If wealth IS something you're specifically looking for, though, you should be ready to trade off on other things (like emotional intimacy) in order to get it.
I mean... In yr last sentence up there, you're talking about trading off on unconditional love. If you do that, don't be surprised if you find a partner who does the same -- and starts thinking about kicking you to the curb once you've hit a certain age.0
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I don't think it's wrong. I think there can be wrong ways to go about it.
But it's like at 17, you don't care if your new boyfriend doesn't work or he's into games, like he doesn't care about you going out clubbing perhaps.. But you hit 25-30, you start to mature, you start to realise you don't want someone who's partying every weekend, or games every night... You perhaps want someone who's looking for kids and marriage (or at least long-term commitment), someone stable and secure. Someone who is working or at least readily on their way to trying.1
Both partners should be finacially stable.3
Financial stability is different than gold digging. I'm not looking to pay off someone's bills, but if I love someone and shit hits the fan - I'm going to help them through it.1
I feel this way too. I think it's mainly because as much as we want to say that love is enough. We need to also make sure we are okay financially. Not saying the guy needs to be a millionaire or even make as much as me. But he must be working and must have some income.
Realistically, it takes 2 people to run a household now a days. Single people struggle!
I know if I work all day and come home to see a guy who isn't working sit on the couch and play video games and yell at me (about when dinner is going to be ready) the minute I walk through the door, I will feel really resentful towards him. And I can probably safely say that relationship wouldn't work out.
I'm not interested in being someone's nanny, or mom or caregiver. I just want a guy who is going to help contribute too. A relationship is a partnership, and both people need to contribute. I think in todays world it only makes sense to not want a partner who is going to mooch off of you.1
agree with you 100%, i would not want a guy with lots of debts, not know how to deal with his finances. and not ambitious.
he should at lease have a decent job, have a bit of savings. some goal if you two are looking to settle down.
its added stress to a relationship and biggest reasons for breakups.1
I'm in the same boat as you. I work hard and know what I want in life and I want to date a guy that is doing better than me. When you are younger, you don't think that much about money because you still think you have time, and that love will be enough to make it work. The truth is, love is not enough when you start a life with a guy and hate where you live, that you struggle all the time, and live a crappy life, at least not for me. Sure there is a chance that you guys will struggle and make it, but do you want to take that risk? Money is the number one reason people split up and fight all the time. You don't have control over someone else's potential, motivation, goals, luck etc. Don't just fall in love with anyone for love, wait for the right guy. You can have both love and a good life.0
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