Do you think that online dating is making girls arrogant, stuck-up, and delusional?

I just read an interesting article - see the link below. It is a bit long so if you can't be bothered to read all of it, it can mostly be summarized like this: there are plenty of fish in the sea but it is overflowing with angry, bitter men and stuck-up, deluded women.

Do you agree with the article?

https://skyespitfire.wordpress.com/2012/06/15/the-truth-about-plenty-of-fish/comment-page-1/


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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, I don't think this is the case for all women. I read the blog post and I don't feel like I fit into any of those categories. Yet here I am, on Plenty of Fish and not inundated with messages. If I am a person who doesn't fit into those categories, then there must be others like me who are just gals (and guys) actually trying to find love.

    I think the problem with online dating isn't necessarily the women, it's the fake profiles or people who are only on there for s**t's and giggles. Because there are still people saying "I'm kind of skeptical about this whole thing" or "I'm willing to lie about how we met". Then why even be on the dating site? Those are typically the people who are too afraid to actually message someone or respond or even meet someone. I get online can be scary, but if they never try how will they know if it works?

    Then there's the fake profiles created to get people to join.

    Online dating is frustrating. But I keep doing it because I have a hard time meeting people in real life. That sounds sad, and it is. But unfortunately people in my area just don't get me. I'm labelled "weird". I come from a small town and that hurts your reputation.

    The only thing weird about me is that I don't choose to follow suit with what everyone else is doing. I do my own thing. I have my own passions and I can't be bothered to keep up with other people. But that bothers people from where I am from. Everything is about status and if you aren't trying for status, then you are looked down upon :( .

    If someone doesn't message me back, I just move on. No point in analyzing the situation any further. There are a whole slew of reasons why a person doesn't respond. (Too busy, met someone, isn't that serious about dating, or not interested). There are so many!

    Plus the blog post is kind of biased "One, who considered himself above average in looks, ..." Isn't this guy overreaching? I mean maybe he's not as good looking as he thinks either? Beauty is subjective. If a person has a huge list of demands, I walk the other way.

    I've made profiles of guys to see what women are asking for. I've yet to come across one where they demanded to be treated like a princess. Most women are like me, but different. They have their own interests and things that they like to do for hobbies. Some travel, some write, while others are having amazing careers.

    Some people will have egos. But for most of us, we are just trying to find love.

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    • 19d

      I like that you took the time to leave a detailed response. The fake profiles and people who aren't serious are kind of like that saying 'a bad apple spoils the bunch.' It's like a feedback loop making things worse and worse.

      Also, I don't get why people find online scary. In real life is scarier. At least online you have some degree of anonymity. You just have to make sure you don't leave any personal details (ex: phone number, house address, etc.).

      "Online dating is frustrating." Perhaps dating in general is frustrating regardless of how you go about it.

      With regards to status, I don't care about that stuff. Like me for me - there's no point in pretending to be something you're not.

      Yeah, some people may have egos. Upon thinking about that, it could be that people look for attention and use it as a substitute in the absence of love whether they can't get love, have given up, or feel like they don't deserve it.

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    • 19d

      @JesseBrooks Yes the problem is the fake profiles. I can't tell you how many profiles I've come across that say in the about me section "Want to know, just ask" and that is all they wrote. Like come on, put in some actual effort. And of course a week later their tag line is "Does anyone even take this seriously?". It's frustrating. I think people think that other people are the one's who need to make the first move. And while I'm sure it's nice to receive messages, I know how I feel when I receive them. I also realize that if I want online dating to work then I have to make some effort. Men AND women have to both send messages if they are truly interested in meeting people.

      I think too many people are passive in their online endeavors or just simply don't care and they are clogging up the dating sites. 7 or 8 years ago you only had the odd fake profile. But now it seems to be pretty common. People back then were generally more interested in actual interaction and finding people

    • 19d

      they click with rather than just waiting for people to message them.

      I definitely think dating in general is frustrating. But anytime I've tried to reach a goal, I've always hit a frustrating point. So really why would dating be any different?

      But I think having a bunch of fake profiles and people who aren't serious are making it even harder for those of us who actually want to meet people.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I can definitely see online dating have an impact on men & women. Especially POF where men can message women and rarely get a response. Perhaps its the fact their message sucks, the guy isn't the woman's type or the woman isn't online checking her mail, but it can lead to a lot of men feeling like they are being ignored or rejected by women leading to the anger and bitterness.

    Women more than ever have an incredible number of options. Even girls of average attraction can go online and get hundreds of messages. I don't think this makes them arrogant, but like supply & demand, it makes women more selective and pickier since they can't be dating every single man that messages them.

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What Girls Said 8

  • Dating online is something I never took seriously

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  • Not in the slightest

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  • online dating can sometimes create deluded people and sometimes it can't... it is according who is the user is... but many girls become deluded but only online

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  • I don't take online dating seriously because no one else seems to. Also, this article seems like it's written by some bitter guy who wasn't getting any attn on pof.

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    • 19d

      ^^THIS^^ is why the online dating scene is so genuinely fucked. Its perfect really, girl doesn't take it seriously, thinks that all guys except super models are bitter creeps LOL!

    • 19d

      Wait for it... wait for it...

  • Not really. Those women were bitches to begin with. The guys I talked to who did online dating said it was pretty close to their real-life experiences.

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    • 17d

      The people who get really upset about online dating tend to have unrealistic expectations that it's not still dating. It's not a magic wand. Dating is hard.

  • Your summary sounds right. I agree with all you said and I also think it makes them sad and lonely too no matter how many hook ups. Online dating is one big hoax

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    • 19d

      For real the PUAs and women that want em are the only ones winning it seems.

  • Only online amongst those who can't get real life partners

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    • 19d

      Not much difference really, people are just as jaded irl...

    • 19d

      @JesseBrooks Na, in real life those people stick to themselves staying on the fringes while the rest of the world gets on with life, dating and friendships.

  • I don't think that many people are on online dating to have an effect on the population as a whole

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What Guys Said 14

  • Yep. Girls in online dating sites (or girls that have used it) tend to be kind of bitchy and stuck up. Super narcissistic too. But it's no surprise when even an ugly fat chick gets lots of attention. Imagine the pretty ones.
    When they're constantly bombarded with attention and compliments, they turn unbearable, that's why I don't use dating sites for anything serious, cause there's no girlfriend material there... for the most part. Obviously there are some cool chicks, but the vast majority is just a pain in the ass; waaaaay too stuck up and conceited, thinking you owe them simply because you matched, like I should be thankful they matched with me... the fuck? xD

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  • The girls who are on the sites, absolutely!
    I was on one, where the 300+ pound girls were getting like 20 guys commenting saying OMG you're SO HAWT.

    I talked to some cute ones who actually kept up a conversation, they all said they were new haha.
    The rest were dull, didn't say much.
    Having that many desperate guys hit on you and tell you 'you should be a model' and whatever other bs turns them toxic. They think they're something they're not and it's new to them. Plus when that many guys hit on ya, you can be very picky and rude.

    Plus they all can't find anyone irl so.

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  • Having tried online dating sufficiently for years I have noticed this > Majority of women are looking for chad thundercock with actual moral values *cough* BS. Majority of men want quick sex *cough* its true dont lie. For those parties that are interested in dating genuine people, the entire scene is tainted. Women constantly getting messages from sex frenzied men, and just disgusting messages in general. Long story short, I think online dating is full of fake two faced people. Women that want superman, men that want supersex. I don't know its been a lackluster experience altogether. Having my messages returned and not insta deleted is ultra rare. While women get TONS of messages a day seems pretty onesided. Being genuine in online dating only gets you a fat CREEPER label. Soo, wow. Being a sex fiend isn't my forte, being honest about seeking a mature relationship isn't working either. Either way? Screwed

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  • It gives them a false sense of choice to some degree.
    it's because they get hit on way way way more online than in real life.
    Guys contribute to this because It's anonymous, it's easy, and nobody knows how many other people you are hitting on, so guys can easily message 100s of girls.

    This means women get more than 15x times the number of messages your average guy will get on one of these sites.

    So it would be no surprise that their abundance of choice makes their standards and self-perception higher.

    Of course it doesn't mean they got it super easy. they still have to figure out if the guy is safe and if he is genuine.

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  • not saying I'm not gonna read your article but for now I agree all the way. I found this out over a year ago from using tinder and after using that app for a while I came to the conclusion that at least 90% (if I have to give an estimate) of women in these types of apps aren't there to actually date. they are in fact in those app to get an ego boost from having all guys hit on them from left to right so she can use all these plots to gossip it to their so called BFF to see which one becomes more successful at having all these desperate losers try so hard to hit on them.

    if you want to find out for yourself just do a experiment I did myself a while back. ask one of your female friends/relatives (try to pick the hottest one) if you can open up a false dating app using her pictures and make your fake profile sound like a typical profile that would sound too damn good to be true from a guys point of view (this shouldn't be so hard) and watch all the suckers flood you with cheesy ass pick up lines overnight. from there on you be the judge

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  • Girls online are way pickier than girls in real life.

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  • Nothing has changed lmao >_>

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  • No not really I mean the girls I've been with in that capacity have been the complete opposite of what you stated but maybe that's because I don't use dating websites so *shrugs* but I also take online dating just as seriously as if it was face to face because to me a relationship is a relationship whether they are face to face or farther away doesn't change what I actually feel.

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  • I think it's making everyone arrogant, stuck-up, and delusional.

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  • Their education can lead to that. Thus their dad.

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  • Feminism took care of that. Online dating is just a symptom of the disease.

    You don't treat each individual boil, you treat the plague.

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  • No, it is simply providing evidence of what they are (they can't cover up anymore)

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  • Yes that is spot on.

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  • I think the biggest problem with online dating is that people have so many options and that goes for both genders. It's rather naive to think you're the only person a girl/guy is seeing.

    A lot of people Ghost/flake because they found someone better and they think it's easier than having the im not interested anymore talk.

    I'd prefer to meet people in person but am having a hard time. And while I've met a lot of women from there, lost count, I've never had anything serious come of it.

    There's also people who are catfishes, on the rebound or just looking for attention. The ones on the rebound are the worst because depending on how much you liked them, it can cause a chain reaction.

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