So I've been with my boyfriend for 5 months. We talk about everything and share amour views. One day I asked him when we have s child, what would he do if they were gay/lesbian etc. he claims he would disown them basically. I don't agree with his views on that at all. He's been super great to me, the SWEETEST man I've ever been with. He treats me like a queen but I'm afraid to if it gets to that point in our life. I couldn't disown my child and I couldn't be with a man that would do that. He grew up and a somewhat religious home and he's African while I wasn't raised in a religious home and I'm black but American.
Would you break up with someone that has different views than you?
What Guys Said 15
Its a good thing that you guys dont agree in everything , and its pretty unlikely that he would do what he said, im black, im not a father , but its pretty common within our community that mindset of " my son can't be gay and if he is i will disown him", its his son, he won't do it, dont overthink it , you gonna risk a guy that treats you this well over a SLIM chance of something like this happening? Dounds like you are looking for an excuse to break up with him, just talk to him and explain him that , this is might never happen if you guys do educate your kids properly besides he will be a black kid/girl lmao this is even more rare to happen within our community, ask yourself how many black homosexual guys/girls you have met in your life? Do not stress about this.2
Well that's going to be a tough choice, but only one you can make.
-On the one hand, he is a great guy. He treats you well, and you sound happy to be with him.
-He is honest, and you guys have great communication
-If you leave him, you might end up with other men who are worse relationship wise.
-If your child is heterosexual, everything is good. He will probably be the best father to them.
-Disagrees with LGBT. Africans in general are very conservative and traditional, they do not tolerate homosexuality.
-If you have a gay child, it will break your heart when he wants nothing to do with him/her.
-If the child is gay, they might just bottle it up and play it off like their straight, to not be disowned by the family.
I really don't understand why anyone cares. Apart from having to educate yourself for a different kind of sex talk when they come of age, who gives a fuck? Shit, if I had a daughter who preferred taco to sausage, I'd be over the moon about never having to worry she'd get knocked up at 14.
Good way to tell: before dating, see if they have invisible sky friends. You know, like Jesus or Muhammed. It seems belief in invisible sky friends leads to belief in other dumb shit.
Oddly enough, atheism also increases the likelihood of being a liberal moron.
You think you got problems lady, try being a hard right libertarian atheist. I have friends nowhere.0
People can change the way they see things. It's easy to say it off the bat the you would disown them, but it's different to say that to your living, breathing, flesh and blood.1
What someone says BEFORE and AFTER they have a kid. 99,999% of those who say things like that for their kid, dont do anything and just want their kid to be safe, live long and be happy. For example. If my daughter was bi or my son was gay, i would mind a bit (lets face it who wouldnt), but in the long run, i would do anything to keep them safe and happy.0
Dump him. Now. He has to go and doesn't deserve the privilege of siring your kids.0
You can stay with him but if you are looking for the long run man then you are wasting your time.
Trust me. That isn't going to be the ONLY opposing thoughts you two have that are that serious if he's driven that much about religion.0
No i wouldn't that's awesome if they different points of views on things. That's how you don't get friendzoned tbh.1
Depends on what those views are but assuming we are to far apart then yes.0
No I would not.0
Nope, i love to argue.0
It depends on what views we differ on.0
Yes. Yes, I would. Especially if it was homophobia or something like that, Jesus.0
Stay with him an pray that kid is not gay. Chances are pretty slim2
Don't end your relationship because of a hypothetical situation that hasn't even happened. Just discourage your kids from being that way and you probably won't even have to deal with it. It is a very small percentage of people that turn out gay anyways.0
What Girls Said 10
Yes, you have to. Because differing in views causes a lot of serious issues that will often resort in divorce. That was something you two should have asked before becoming official. If I was dating and looking for a marriage partner, those questions must come into play. The whole point in dating is process and elimination. If you don't agree with his terms and views, and won't compromise, end it. It's not just about how they treat you. But what they stand for and believe in. To be honest. I believe what he is saying is that the child would not be around him, and kicked out. Being kicked out is not disownment unless he said that he will disown the child. Regardless to what. What is his belief's? If he is not a Jew or Muslim, then as a Christian he is not religious. Believing in God is not a religion. It is viewed as a sin. And as a believer he has to stand by what is right according to God, or else he too will be judged for those choices. As long as he is not abusive or shown hatred towards the child, he's fine in his place. It doesn't make him a bad man, but you're just not right for each other. Also if he is from Africa, they have very intolerant views of the LGBTQA community and lifestyle.0
It depends on how extreme his views were , and how it would affect us in the long-term
I certainly couldn't be with a guy if he'd seriously disown his.. our... own child because they were gay / lesbian. If a " child", doesn't have the support , love and encouragement from his or her parents , then who can they trust and rely on.
It would have a detrimental affect on the ", child" if one or both parents disowned him or her. I'd hate to ever be the cause of my own son or daughters emotional pain
In that case, yes. I'm bi, I wouldn't want to be with someone who believes it's okay to disown a gay or lesbian child and I doubt that person would want to be with me either. I think that even if I wasn't bi, that would just be too heartless for me... If it was something smaller, then maybe, but that's a pretty huge thing that I couldn't get past.0
I'm atheist, but my boyfriend is super religious, however, we agree morally on most issues, including the LGBT community. I think that you can have vastly different views on most issues, but you still need to agree on or compromise on the ones that are the most relevant and important to you
If you have conflicting views on how you're children are going to be raised, the relationship is already sinking. Do you really want a husband who will disown you're own children if they are part of the LGBT community? Seriously, get rid of him.0
I would make sure we agree on the important things before we date.
But to answer your question :Yes.0
My mother is African but I guess you could say she's somewhat "Americanized" and she's always told me "Don't you ever try to be lesbian" and stuff like that but she always said that she'd still love me because I am her daughter. I feel like until you and your husband does have a child he won't realize the love he'll have for him/her and could never really "disown" them. Though he will be upset for some while he will still love your child but won't love his/her way of living.0
Could never date a homophobe.0
Yeah, I would explain your views and see his reaction.0
He doesn't know what he's saying. Once you have a child the love is something he's nvr experienced. I doubt he'd disown. If he's that way though u may want to consider and open minded man who will love his child no matter what0
The best thing you can do this talk about it with him. Each of you are going to have morals/values/beliefs that you are not willing to sacrifice and those should be clearly communicated to one another.0
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