Should I come out to my boyfriend as bisexual? Or should I not even tell him?

I have never officially dated another girl but I have had a few "flings" with girls here and there. I haven't told my current boyfriend of 3 months about it because I don't want to freak him out. Should I tell him? Or not at all?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think this needs to be handled fairly delicately. The main risk you run in telling your boyfriend - in my opinion - is that he may become convinced that he isn't able to satisfy you sexually now that you're interested in women. Of course you know him better than us, so do consider whether he's likely or not to fall into this trap of thinking.

    If you have no intention of acting on your newfound desires I don't think there's a lot of point telling him about them. So if you'd rather have your boyfriend than liaisons with women, I think you should stick with that choice (though by all means continue to masturbate about women and whatnot - that's fine and healthy).
    I think unless you have a specific reason to do so (i. e. wanting to actively seek a sexual relationship with a woman/engage in a threesome) it's best just to keep quiet about it.

    If he ever asks you outright, tell him, but I just don't really think he needs to know the fact pressingly.

    I think the common assumptions (at least ones I encountered when I identified as bisexual) are that you'll either not be satisfied sleeping with only a man, or actively want to involve a woman in your sex life.

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    • 13d

      The saying goes, what someone doesn't know can't hurt them, depending on your actions towards them. Now if you know are bisexual, but have no intentions acting out with other women, there is no need to tell.

      At your age, I would be very careful what you tell guys even if they are your boyfriend, they could use this information against you, and you could be a target for bullying at school. If you were an adult, it might be a different story. Please think very think very carefully what you say to anyone about yourself, cause they might just use it against you later.

      If people find you like other girls at school, they could bully you for being gay. Teenagers that are gay, in schools are big targets.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should. Honesty is important and he might think it's hot.

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What Guys Said 11

  • Tell him that you have experimented with girls previously. Don't say just yet that you are still into girls until you can gauge his reaction...

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  • girl your not bisexual. You just think you are wait a few months and it will pass.
    Gosh teens these days randomly trying to change their sexuality cause they see greener pastures. Or your just afraid of commitment.

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  • Not sure. If I was the guy in this situation, I'd be kind of intrigued and turned on. Not sure why. Lol. But every guy is different.

    Also, are you ready for everyone else to know this about you? If you break up, he may tell others about your orientation. Maybe wait until you hit the 6-month or even 1-year mark, cause there's no point telling him if your relationship isn't lasting and serious.

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  • Yeah you should be honest with him, and he will probably be fine with it but there are guys who don't like that so be ready for anything.

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  • Go ahead and tell him, it's better that you tell him then him finding out from some random person and him getting mad.

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  • Just make sure the girl he comes home and catches you with is damn hot.

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  • Unless your going to have sex with another woman why bother. If your loyal it doesn't matter.

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  • i would recomend being honnest

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  • He'll probably think its hot and want to see you with another girl

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  • If you haven't dated a girl, and couldn't see yourself marrying one, then you're not bi, you're an attention whore

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  • Has he asked? No, then don't. Have you lied? Then yeah tell him. Do you just want him to know? Then yeah tell him.

    I think it depends on your situation. You're under 18 so you have a different mentality but as you get older, you're probably not going to want to know about you Bf's or Gf's past hookups.

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    • 13d

      The other thing is, she could be a target for bullies at school and college, and her boyfriend could use it against her, if she dumps him for whatever reason. I think its a very dangerous thing to do at her age.

    • 13d

      @Maddenis123 I agree, I wouldn't recommend saying anything about it unless asked.

What Girls Said 6

  • Of course tell him. If my boyfriend was bisexual and had been with other men... I would want to know. Then I would dumb him.

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  • Yes! You should be honest.

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  • Yes, I think you should tell him.

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  • You should've have secrets, tell him!

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  • tell him now, then if you want to tell him in the future he won't be mad at you for hiding it for so long.

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  • Tell him as in relationships you don't keep secrets

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