Is this considered cheating?

So I started seeing this girl 3 weeks ago and we hit if off fairly quickly. We started sleeping together on the second date and even took a weekend gateway at the beach last week. Problem is that I'm still unsure of how I feel about her, I like her but I'm not feeling the sparks. I want to give her some time because she's an extremely shy girl and she is very sweet so I think she has potential. Anyway, we're technically just dating, but it's obvious that she likes me a lot so I don't know where the boundaries are. She knows I'm not seeing anyone else and gets jealous when I joke about seeing other girls.
Anyway, I was messing around on tinder mostly out of boredom and I super liked this girl. I really liked this girl's profile, she's super pretty and seems to be more of an extrovert which I like. We ended up matching when I super liked her and instantly sent her a message and 15min later a date has been planned for this weekend. Is me going on the date considered cheating?


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What Girls Said 6

  • I believe that's a betrayal. It's unfair to the shy girl if you meet up with other girls. She'd probably be very hurt if she found out. It would be best to end it with the shy girl if you are pursuing other girls at the same time as seeing her.

    Even if you aren't exclusive it's still a betrayal because people date someone in the hope that it'll develop into a relationship. So before things develop there's got to be a foundation of trust. Trust can't be earned if you are dating multiple girls at the same time

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    • 10d

      You are right it is betrayal. The thing is that I'm moving in a year so she knows that we can't get too attached and I've been clear that I don't know what I want (true) and would prefer if we just took it one date at a time and just concentrated on having fun and getting to know each other. I know she'll be very sad if she ever found out. The thing is I do like her, but I'm not crazy about her or as into her as I usually am when it comes to dating someone new. I'm still trying to figure out if I like her enough/we're compatible enough to be in a relationship. We've only known each other for 3 weeks. I want to see the new girl because she might be a better fit for me for all I know or I could go on the date and appreciate the girl I'm currently dating even more. I just don't want to be settling when I have a date with a girl that I super liked on Tinder, I obviously find her EXTREMELY attractive and we had a very good easy flowing text conversation, so there is potential.

    • 9d

      Ok then, I hope it works out for you with one of them 😊

  • I would think so. It's not right to date two people at once. You should only focus on one person at a time. Also you had sex with a complete stranger and now you're going on a date with someone new knowing you just freaked some other girl. That's really freaking disgusting.

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    • 10d

      Meh it is what it is. I'm just trying to find a girl I really like, that's all. If that's disgusting then whatever. The only reason I'm treading so carefully/being detached with the girl I'm currently seeing is because I know that when I fall for someone, I fall for them really hard and I'm a damn good boyfriend. I want to be sure that the person I allow myself to fall for is actually a really good fit for me and so far I'm not convinced the current girl I'm seeing is, however there's also no major flag that she isn't (some minor ones though).

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    • 9d

      Yea lets completely ignore evolution and simple biology that has shaped us for millions of years, all that magically disappears in a couple thousand years right? Our purpose is to have sex and have babies. So many aspects of our lives revolve around sex and the "mating ritual". Hate to break it to you but we are animals and animals like having sex, the only difference is that we're much smarter and dput a greater emphasis on it.

    • 9d

      Lol you keep on believing that. Delusional.

  • i dont know about cheating, but the other girl isn't going to be ok with this.. You should just do her a favor and end it with her. You guys aren't a match, you are going to hurt her and you dont seem particularly concerned about it.

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    • 10d

      I don't know if we're a match or not yet, it's never been this split for me. It's seriously like 50/50. There are things that I really like about her and I'm so happy with and there are other things that off set them. Honestly, I'm not as attracted to her as I wish I was. I still think she's very pretty and all my friends have been stunned when I've showed them pictures, but I just don't crave her if that makes sense, I don't want to rip her clothes off and have passionate sex, it's just sex to me which is so different than making love. Funny enough my last ex wasn't as pretty as her but I was still much more attracted to her than I am for this girl. I also know that once you fall in love with someone, their looks don't matter much hence why I don't want to stop seeing her. I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

    • 10d

      i dont get it... you dont want her, leave her alone... its pretty dang clear i think... isn't it?

  • Pretty much, that's not fair to the other girl your seeing. Your seeing this one girl but now going on a date with another, if your not serious about her than you need to tell her.

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  • Unless you guys have made it clear you're exclusive, it's not cheating.

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    • 10d

      Hmmmm, well she knows that I'm currently not seeing anyone else but also knows we're only dating. She actually got worried when she found her old bobby pins in my apartment that she had left the last time she was over. She tried to play it off cool and asked me about it but I could tell that it bothered her and that she was very relieved when she found out I was only seeing her. Point is I know that she likes me and is getting attached, I want to be sure that I feel as strongly about her before we get more serious and at this point in time I know I don't feel as strongly and I'm worried about settling. However, I still do like her and she has my favorite qualities in a girlfriend (very sweet and super affectionate).

    • 10d

      Well the figure out what you want.

  • If you are dating the first girl then yes it is. I think if you make it clear to both girls that you are seeing other people, they might understand or they might want nothing to do with you. BUT if you make it clear you won't be in the wrong.

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    • 10d

      I'd rather not do that, all it does is completely fuck my chances at finding a girl I'll be happy with. I know this is going to sound dumb, but I don't have much experience and haven't been on many dates and I'm only now really figuring out what type of women I'm most attracted to/compatible with. While I do like the first girl, I'm not as into her as I have been for other girls I've been with. I want to be sure that this isn't just me having a freak out because things are heading down relationship road or I actually just don't like her as much as I should if we were to get into something serious. I feel like going on this date will clear my head about my feelings towards the current girl I'm seeing.

    • 9d

      No, what you're doing is dating someone whilst looking for someone better. Either break it off with the first girl and go on the date or be a cheat and lose both of them when they find out.

What Guys Said 3

  • If all you are doing is going out and meeting for dinner and to talk and nothing else happens on the date then it's not cheating.

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    • 10d

      Yea I usually have a makeout session and even sleep with them sometimes, but I'm going to be reserved on this date and really concentrate on figuring out who I think is a better match for me. I won't kiss her unless I'm sure that I like her more than the current girl I'm seeing.

  • yes it is cheating

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  • If you haven't had the "we're exclusive" conversation with the first girl, then going on a date with the second girl is absolutely not cheating. Even so, it probably doesn't do you any good to talk about it with the first girl.

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