Why am I more attracted to the one who's no good for me?

Looking at it from a completely shallow perspective:
- he's got a crappy job
- he's not very good looking (very slender, including face but pretty tall)
- he gets in to moods when things don't go his way
- whines a lot
- dresses commonly
- not very gentlemanly
- he's one of those popular guys

the things I like:
- he's got quite a few friends so he has more interesting things to do with his time
- he's got a motorbike
- he's not too keen, which annoys me but it also makes me appreciate his attention more
- he's more manly and seems to have more testosterone
- he's had experience with girls

But the other guy is different…
- he's got a great career
- he's kind and very attentive
- he's handsome in a unique way
- he wants to go places in life
- dresses in fine clothes

Things I dislike:
- he's really keen
- he's introverted and always doing work
- doesn't drive
- quiet
- seems a little nerdy
- little experience

p. s I'm not official with either. I'm just seeing them, haven't done anything with them but I know they're both romantically interested in me.
Why does the not so nice one grab my attention more?


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What Guys Said 13

  • lol some of those are stupid.
    dreses commonly... ur a god dam chick. u know how many girls dress their man? this is a serious statement. i love how i dress and my girlfriend still seem to take pride in dressing me... what ever it makes them happy.

    not gentlemanly... what the fuck, we live in england? u go have tea and crackers or something? if u want THAT kind of person u need to UPSCALE ur game and pick from a different pool of people... nuff said on that one. i would never do anything mean to my girlfriend, or something dirrectly to hurt her "reputation" if i know it obviously. but i could give two rat fucks about anyone else. i dont go looking to hurt people, but it only takes a slight to get it returned.

    popular guy- this is very U issue. u are not secure enough to handle a popular guy. this cuts off plenty of relationships with good people. i have not done anything wrong and people just try to be around me. always have for variety of reasons. and i have told gfs this upfront. they all agree but some dont like it when faced with it in reality. if the boyfriend isn't doing anything on THEIR side, u should take comfort knowing they are going home with u and u are the one getting to fuck him and go to bed with them. these other girls are just saying hi and getting some petty flirt in. its not even worth getting upset over.

    for job ;) while i can't say this for everyone, that just means he has room to improve and behind every great guy is normally a great chick ;). just cause someone is forced to be in a shit job right now does not mean they are a shit boyfriend... thats a horrible way to judge someone, u have no idea whats going on really... now i know some people are actually stuck and have no desire to go anywhere and here u would be correct. but most people jump the gun here.

    things u should look at are, how do u two get along, if u are sexual, who do u have better sex with. to many this would be pretty important. since u mention experience... im guessing its important. and if a guy is willing to give u time of day... u might be able to do more shaping to them vs the other person who will pro try to shape u. food for thought. usually someone wants to impress someone in a relationship.

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  • Let me help you out here: you like that he's fucked around and he knows what he's doing. You also probably have a desire to subdue him and tame him as he's been around. Women believe their pussies have magic powers and they can subdue a guy other girls can't. He'd be a catch too as he's "popular" and you'll gain status being with him. Also, you think he's not so smart so he should be easier to manipulate.
    Mr. Introvert is smart and may pick up on your attempts to manipulate him; best to be carefully with him as he may see through you BS. Lastly, you don't want to take the time to teach Mr. introvert how to please you. That's no fun for you; he doesn't get your juices flowing as he's not driving your imagination... unless you were to become a dominatrix!

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  • Nice effort, but sadly you're a dude. Talking about testosterone, motorcycles and the fact he had has a life somehow makes him interesting... nah a girl wouldn't describe these things in that way.

    I know this is you lol
    www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q2177969-why-did-my-girlfriend-leave-me-for-this-bad-ass

    Your third revision should be interesting to read 😂

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    • 16d

      Well looks like some girls do. Because I did! In the question you attached the guy said that he drives a car, and as I said in my question, the "nicer" guy doesn't drive.

  • Easy: the first one is manipulating you.
    Don't think we introverts don't know how to do the same thing, we are actualy masters at manipulation. We choose not to because we want a woman who wants us for us, not because we exploited her.

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  • Probably because you think you can change him

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  • Because most women do not apply logic to things. Why else do you think the family unit is destroyed. Because women have been put in charge.

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  • Girls usually go after bad guys/boys because they feel like they don't deserve better / lack of self-esteem / potential self-masochism aka deserving to be in a bad relationship and being treated badly.

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  • Because hard and no good for us are attractive lol

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  • You know what the say... love is blind... There is no why. Just happens...

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  • Second one is better it seems...

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  • Is the not nice one have more confidence than the other?

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  • Sin Hun sin

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  • If you had to pick between the two which one is your dad most like, especially in his younger days?

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    • 16d

      Definitely the second guy...

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    • 16d

      No, my dad was never a nerd. He was introverted, arrogant and intelligent. He didn't really fit in with the "popular" types, but not the "nerds" either. So he just got along with both.

    • 16d

      So are the dudes you're attracted to somewhat like your dad in some ways

What Girls Said 8

  • Here's what caught my attention about the first man you mentioned.

    Pretty face
    Motorbike (always want to be on one)
    The way you felt as thought you HAD to put in "experience with girls".

    You're looking for fun.
    IF you wanted serious, this wouldn't be an issue at all. You can't tame the first one. Attitude he gets from not going his way? From previous girls letting him get away with it; he thinks that's okay.

    - P. S. Why Doesn't #2 drive?

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  • You wanna Tame dat mothaaaa fuuuuu-guy I mean.

    The first one seems bleh the second seems bleh. Don't waste you time taming someone, and don't waste your life trying to be with someone you don't find attractive.

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  • I was just on this exact situation... I chose a, and am now heart broken... definitely chose B!!!

    I was worried when deciding. .. I had more attraction to a but actraction is not much when it comes to a decent life partner. I thought what if I don't chose him would I regret not chosing him... well now I'm over here regretting that I had

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  • I don't know but guy number 2 is my dream.

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  • Why not drop both and go find a guy who doesn't make you question strangers on the internet about whether his job or his clothes are worthy judgements of his character?

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  • Choose the second

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  • because he's more masculine...

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    • 16d

      so do what most other girls do, sleep with the idiot, then go marry the guy with the job after youve had your fun

  • Different standards...

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    • 17d

      What do you mean?

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