Should I ask him to clarify what we are?

So the other night I was messaging my guy friend/crush on snapchat and I told him I like someone but I'm scared to tell them. He said if you and that person are comfortable with each other then the feelings should be mutual. So I told him I liked him and he said he's comfortable with me too, but can't do a relationship right now do to issues at home. (We are in college) So I get that we can't date right now, but I'm confused as to what we are/what boundaries are. How should I ask about this? I don't want to make him uncomfortable.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Talk to him, face to face about that... best to do it as soon as possible!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You just ask him. If you can gather up the courage to tell him that you liked him as more than just a friend, you can ask him that question. You won't know unless you ask him. But do know that you two are just friends and is not going to get any further unless he decides to say that he's willing to go out on a date, to see if you two are romantically compatible. You gave him the ball, now it's in his court.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Right now you are nothing.

    I don't believe in waiting for people and I believe that things happen for a reason. So if you like someone else or if someone has the courage enough to ask you out and you think they are worth a shot then you go for it.

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  • yeah u should

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  • Just ask what you are to each other

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  • Do to issues at home

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What Girls Said 8

  • Don't ask him to clarify what you are. You may like eachother but there are no reasons to place boundaries on each other simply due to that fact. If he doesn't want a relationship, don't force him to make decisions that resemble one. Also know that you won't have any boundaries placed on you either.. so until/if he decides he's ready for more, you're free to do as you please!

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  • Unfortunately, I think he already answered that question. Sorry, girl :( If he doesn't want to exclusively date you despite other factors in his life, than your boundary is "friends." Not friends with benefits or some other bastardization of a non-commital hook up. I understand you have a feelings for him, but don't ignore the red flag. You can continue to pursue him, and he may even develop feelings for you too along the way. He may even take you on dates and maybe you'll have incredible chemistry. But being with a man who isn't ready to put you first is a good way to die while still breathing.

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  • I'd say just give him time. Easier said than done, and it's an excruciating process (particularly for impatient people like me) but if he genuinely likes you back then he will likely get back to you when he's ready for a relationship.

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  • i would

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  • You guys are not dating because he told you that he is not ready for a relationship right now.

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  • I think he said no, DUE to issues at home... do what you're doing, but don't hang around... like if he liked you he would have been happy about this, and not politely said he can't get into anything. He's probably down to do other things tho, sexual side of it, just no commitment.

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  • i think he is totally fine about making out and stuff! he is just with problems so he thinks its better not to go further on a relationship more formal

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  • If you like him why not just live in the moment? But if you wanna only do a "serious" relationship, then tell him you're not down for this.

    If it feels good to just date him now and see how it goes, then do it. If it doesn't, then don't.

    There's no right or wrong here, that's all for you to decide. All these man made up "boundaries" are silly!

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    • 14d

      I wasn't sure he was down for any kind of relationship. If he's not then you'll find someone better, if he is then ask him what the boundaries are, even though that's not really up for him to decide. I say just lay out what you want exactly and he can tell you yes or no

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