How can I stop my relationship from fizzling out?

I've only been with my boyfriend since June, and things started out well. I could see through his actions and feel through his touch that he was definitely into me, there was no question.

But now i've noticed it's harder to make conversation with him, I'll try talking about a subject and he'll take a long time to respond, if he does for that matter.

We used to spend like basically everyday together and now it seems like it's only either 2 or 3 days a week. Which I know is better than nothing. But sometimes during that time I feel quite empty like we don't have any quality conversations, it's almost as if there's nothing left to talk about.

I feel I need help here, he insists he still loves me and wants to be with me, but how can we keep things feeling fresh? The feeling of stagnation makes me fear the demise of the relationship.

  • You are doomed...
    14% (3)27% (4)19% (7)Vote
  • There are ways to spark things up between you.
    55% (12)13% (2)38% (14)Vote
  • Perhaps he's stressed or down and it's getting in the way of your relationship.
    27% (6)40% (6)32% (12)Vote
  • Other...
    4% (1)20% (3)11% (4)Vote
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Most Helpful Girl

  • things get stagnant sometimes dont sweat it, but you do need to invest to keep things going, dont pressure yourself or him to have conversation over text. Try finding something different to do, get out away from the every day things that you do and try for doing some fun things. And talk to him about it without being accusatory.

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    • 11d

      Thanks, i try to suggest doing things, but he then he says he has no money... or he's too tired. So it's a nightmare trying to get him to cooperate.

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    • 11d

      and good luck, i hope things work out for you

    • 11d

      I will, definitely won't push him away, but there will be enough distance (although reminding him I still care at the same time) just while I get my perspective on things :)

What Guys Said 5

  • How about you try something new with him? Just talking gets boring after a time. There comes a time when you feel like you know pretty much about each other's previous life and now all you can do is turn your head and look forward instead of looking back. It's time to build memories. Try to do activities, do projects together. Start making plans that lasts for more than a single night. Take cooking class together or something like that. Find something that would stimulates the both of you. Learn to drive a motorcycle and visit a new town every week. do something that will break the ordinary.

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    • 9d

      I've been trying? But now he always says he has 'no money' when really I think he'd rather just spend his money on other things :/. I can't drive yet and we're both stuck in a small town. And since he's the one who is able to drive, I kinda depend on him to take us places (he won't travel by public transport) so I just feel I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. Over the past like 6 weeks I can't recall the last time we spent a Saturday or Sunday together. So this week, I've just been 'too busy' to see him. See if that wakes him up a bit.

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    • 5d

      @Tony1974 aye right mate, don't twist my words. Me not having a driving licence DOES NOT mean I depend on him to transport me everywhere, did you deliberately not read the part where I mentioned he won't travel by public transport, or did you just conveniently miss that part out? As for being eager to take me out, I might genuinely have been busy this weekend, but last night, and by surprise, he drove a whole hour into the city just to save me a 2 hour journey back home, alone. Which might I add, I was perfectly willing to make. But he came and saved me the trouble which was lovely. So maybe read what I say, as I say it, rather than twist it. There's always one person who seems to get joy out of doing that and I can't be doing with it.

    • 4d

      Sorry.. but I didn't twist anything around. I just took what you've stated and turned it back to you. Sorry if I made you have to be introspective; clearly HE is the problem.

  • Hehe... the honeymoon phase is over lol... y'all burned it out. I know relationships take work to maintain, but there's a different between doing a tune up and straight up having to buy a new engine.
    Question, have y'all had sex?

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  • This means ur probably past the honeymoon phase now

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  • Perhaps he is stressed

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    • 9d

      He is stressed and stuff, but I feel like he's just no got the same amount of time for me anymore.

  • One of the simplest ways of keeping things fresh is by being fresh. In other words, when you are an interesting person with good energy, lots to talk about, hobbies you really love and you have aspirations in your life, then things will just remain fresh.

    All you need to do is ask yourself truthfully and honestly, are you an interesting person? Is he an interesting person?

    At first when infatuation levels are high, those things that I just mentioned are overlooked. Once that phase settles down, then the person you are with starts looking at you in a different way.

    It could be something else, an incompatibility but it could be that one or both of you are just not very interesting.

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    • 9d

      Great point. See? When we met, I was working my dream job and was very passionate about it. My energy levels were high and positive. After summer ended I decided to go back to university and further my studies... which eventually will contribute further towards my dream job. I like uni? But I'm just not passionate about it and I can't work the job I loved anymore because I'm always studying. It's different and I'm still getting used to it. Not to mention when we met he was at least a little happier with his job, he's hating it right now and it's really all he does during the week. And then sleeps when he gets home because he's tired. I've seen him falling asleep on me though which only annoys me and makes me feel boring. And lately, he's been going out more weekends with friends/drinking/spending more time with them, so when I do see him on a weekend he's hungover and not up for doing much. When we could go n have a great time together but he chooses these things over me :/

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