Am I wrong for not giving him a chance because of this?

So Im starting to have a thing for this guy. At first I think there was an attraction there between us but that's it. After that, everything was really cordial until recently. There's been sparks and a lot of flirting. I didn't think I would like him but I do. I'm just a little bummed out that we won't be going nowhere because of one thing and that's that he smokes cigarettes. He smokes though like it's a ritual like one of those who need to have a smoke, goes outside to have a cig, comes in and smells. I'm not into that but it sucks cause I would give him a chance if he didn't smoke but since he does there's just no point in going along with it. Other than that, I do have a thing for him. He makes me laugh, he's smart, he's ambitious, confident maybe cocky but he acknowledges it, I like his style and other stuff. I wouldn't even waste my time telling him to quit if we started dating cause it just seems like that's who he is. I can point it out if it comes up but who knows what he'll think or what will happen.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I wouldn't date a smoker either. Bad breath when kissing would be a total turn off. Plus the smelly clothes.

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    • 11d

      Yeah I remember visiting the house of this guy I almost dated and would leave with my hair smelling so bad of smoke. I told him I would be with him if he didn't do drugs or smoked. But he didn't stop so we never moved forward. But its just a turn off overall.

What Girls Said 2

  • hi, well is the worst thing at the moment that its the smell and taste of the smoking that is effecting you? if so you could explain this and suggest gum after he has had a smoke and take it from there because if you two work out he may well be willing to try to quit for the sake of your relationship. a smoker if youve never been one doesn't often really like their own habit talking from experience and a partner who enables and assists them to quit is a great incentive, i wouldn't give up just yet as it sounds like you get on great. try and go with the whole smell taste thing first and see where it goes from there, give him a chance to suit you better at least surely? xx

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    • 11d

      Its not just the smell. I just said that as a way to explain how much he smokes or what kind of smoker he is which I also explained is the kind who needs one every other break or so. I just find the whole thing unattractive. I don't want to judge him for it but Im just doing what I feel is right for me. I also just wouldn't want to kiss someone who has bad teeth, bad breath, bad health, etc. I mean it would be great if I was able to make him stop but I don't think thats gonna happen. Maybe I can bring it up and he'll surprise me saying he's thought about quitting but doesn't know how or when. Im sure almost every person who has smoked has thought about quitting. It just sucks when I meet someone cool and they leave for a bit and come back smelling like smoke. Its kind of a bummer :/

    • 11d

      Don't wanna come off in a certain way but he is middle eastern and smoking is pretty normal in their culture so thats another reason why I believe he's never gonna stop. He's around it a lot and he likes it so why really try

  • You're letting that one reason outweigh everything else? 😕

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    • 11d

      Yeah pretty much. All the other things are not super spectacular to me though. If I really did like him I'd probably give him a chance even if he does smoke but since I dont like him that much (yet) the smoking does get in the way. I did kind of date someone who smoked but not as a ritual. Just whenever it came up which was rare. I think if he had to have a smoke, I wouldn't have dated him.

    • 10d

      Oh Mmhmm

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