Do I still have feelings for my first love?

I'm 23 years old and when I was 16, I fell in love deeply with a guy that I only dated for 1 month. End of the story: he dumped me and of course I suffered for years, until I could forget him. I consider him my first love because I never loved anyone the way I loved him.

After that I never felt anything stronger for someone. I dated two guys later but the feeling was always warm, and I ended up with them in the end...

It turns out that this weekend I met this guy again and the moment I saw him I felt goose bumps and I was a bit nervous when he came to talk to me.
I know I do not have a chance with him because now I think he sees me only as a friend nowadays, but I was confused thinking if I still have feelings for him, because I thought I had completely forgotten him. What do you think?


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What Guys Said 2

  • You only dated the guy for one month but did you know him for longer than that before you dated? I could understand if better if you did. I don't believe that one month should be enough for you to fall in love to the extent that it takes you years to get over the person. That is not a healthy or proportionate reaction.

    My gut feeling is that he gave you something that you were in particular need of at that time of your life. In isolation he might not have seemed so special, but because he was exactly what you needed right then it magnified his effect on you. It's a bit like getting a glass of water when you've been walking for days through a barren desert.

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    • 15d

      Intensity is not about time. It was "only" 1 month but very intense.

    • 15d

      True, but love is not necessarily about intensity. Passion is about intensity. Love is about knowledge, balance, reassurance, trust, security, inner peace, etc. Love is solid and assured, it is a constant. It is not fireworks and stars in your eyes. It's for you to define what love means to you, but my definition of love is something that can only be formed over a longer time.

  • He dumped you after dating you for 1 Month!! yet you still hold him in high regard and class him as your first love - I don't think and find it hard to believe that he thought of you in the way for him to dump you like that ok he might of had his reasons but I would be very surprised if still thinks of you in the same way I might be wrong he might have matured over the years

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What Girls Said 1

  • you still haven't got over him or he was an important part of your life

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