Why don't guys call or text enough?

Guys why do u do this? It's like we are sitting around waiting on a call or text and then... nothing. Is this being done on purpose?


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What Guys Said 40

  • It's probably not even about you.

    I don't think these guys are even aware that you're dying on the inside because they're not there to appease.

    If a girl really desires to talk to me, she'll send a text, otherwise why should I bother?

    The guy has things to do, he was not put on this earth to appease you.

    If you just lie around and starfish, putting no effort in reaching out to him, then why are you complaining. Only if you've already done that, and he still ignores you, will it be something to be concerned about.

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  • I don't know. I'm very curious myself, seeing it asked so often...
    When I had a girlfriend, I'd of course want to see her in person as much as possible, but when we couldn't I'd be texting her for as long as she wanted. Literally all day long if possible and it made her happy. I'd even make my own requests for a little texting too from time to time.
    I'd also at the very least say things like "good morning!" and "how was your day?" to her every day. Hardly any hassle in that, guys. Why don't you?

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  • We have this thing... its called "Lives" and we try to live it...
    contrary to a lot of female belief, many guys don't sit around their phones just waiting to respond to a girl. We'll contact you WHEN WE want to contact you. n thats it. lol.. now if you catch a guy when he is free... and he likes you... hell, why not.

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  • It is frigging annoying to be trying to do something else (cook dinner/play games/watch TV/hang out with friends/exercise) and have you phone going BZZZ BZZZ every 30 seconds.

    Just because you have nothing else to do except sit on your phone all night doesn't mean other people are the same. Hell, even typing get annoying when you are trying to get back to what you were doing and it's just not correctly reading your fingerpresses.

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    • 14d

      Seems that four guys agree with you. Must be true. I think some women, such as myself, view a text and phone call as a way of a guy expressing that he was thinking about me. But you are totally right. People have a life and I can see how it can get annoying.

  • If the guy you are trying to date is anywhere close to your age, I'd imagine he should be busy with work or life in general than to be sitting somewhere spending his entire time texting back and forth something he can just say in person when you both meet in person. I'm still young and in University right now and can't even be bothered with texting, the only time I text someone I'm attracted to is to arrange a time and place for us to meetup. I'd rather get to know someone face to face over coffee or a walk, rather than texting, its just too draining and time-consuming.

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  • Simple, men are very visual and most don't like to talk that much, especially if we know you intimately, a phone call means nothing to us. So when we do it, we do it with the knowledge that YOU, need it. That constant transference of energy is absolutely necessary for a woman. Its sort of a reaffirmation in most women's personal relationships. Be it platonic or romantic. Though especially for the later.

    Here's the fix, just understand this vital part of who we are.
    Fix
    1. We don't really want to talk when already stimulated. (Videos games, Espn, netflix etc.)
    2. When we do talk, lets do about 90% of said conversations in person, preferably after sex. (refer to fix #1)
    3. No tangents. No manipulative questions in an attempt to initiate conversation. Dont get pissed when he asks what YOU believe are question he should have answered too.
    4. If you want to talk. Talk, but control the narrative. Don't tell one story and expect him to entertain you with ten.
    5. Please, please understand our body language, if there's a moment your dying to have, and he's crabby, don't pile on him for not engaging, give him some space, and save the story for about ten minutes.

    6. Remember balance, and understand how your energy affects your relationship.

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  • Some people are not too fond of texting. Why not actually use the phone for a PHONE CALL instead of a text? Phone calls give an opportunity for actual conversation.

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  • What's "enough"? Maybe it's you're expectations? Guys in general I think aren't "texters" or like talking on the phone (not compared to women I mean). Yes, there are some exceptions. Some women don't call/text enough either. It just depends on the guy/person. He's probably just busy and/or doesn't know what to say. I for example don't like calling anyone, ever. I hate the phone. I like texting though but I notice even just in everyday texting (like male coworkers etc), I often don't get replies. It's hard but you just can't take it personally. It often is not personal at all, guys just aren't texters/callers for whatever reason (can be several reasons why). My advice is call him and make arrangement to meet in person instead. It could also mean he's not really into you but don't assume this.

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  • I'll be honest on a few things. First, I always respond if I'm texted or called. I don't ignore women or play games with things like that. I do however, give them room to breathe. I mean no guy wants to known as needy or clingy. Especially early on when you barely know her. Women can lose interest very quickly if they see you as a guy that is overly needy or insecure. That's why guys don't text, call or talk as much. Kind of safer not too.

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  • Because you know all the guys who have your number but you AREN'T waiting for a call or text from THEM? That's most of us.

    You're studly crush (just realized your age is 36 but still) is busy fucking a bunch of ladies.

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  • Call you and say what? Calls and texts cost money! What am I supposed to call you and say? "Hey, I was watching this cloud move and thinking about a speech I had to give in middle school when a really cool car drove past. Anyway, call you again soon."

    WHAT THE FUCK? DO YOU WANT?

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    • 15d

      "Hey, it's me again, I've got that one Megadeth song stuck in my head, you know the one that's all, 'ba ba ba, badadadadadadadadadadada ba ba da ba da ba ba ba ba!' and I was kind of humming it and this guy walked by, and I kind of thought he recognized the song, and I kind of nodded at him, but he just gave me this real weird look and it made me think of you. I guess I'll call you again in like five more minutes. Can't wait to see you! Love you! Bye!"

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    • 14d

      Humor is a good attribute to have. 👍

  • More like, why do women expect guys to call and text so much?

    Seriously, texting is one of the worst things to ever come along in the dating world.

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  • I used to have girls who wouldn't text me or call me I think it's
    just the person them self , they could lack communication skills.

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  • Because women don't.

    I texted a girl at least 3 weeks ago and she hasn't responded. And no, nothing creepy or stupid of that nature.

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  • Because you're old :P I have dated younger women for quite some time and wonder why they want to text instead of talking on the phone..

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    • 14d

      A lot of women prefer texting from what I observe. I think it's made things worse. Whatever happened talking in person? Are we all that insecure?

  • I can think several much better things to do than be imprisoned by my own phone. Not going to happen, woman!

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  • face to face is what is real

    testing is a complete toss and talking on the phone is 'meh'

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  • guys - with exception to hot guys - don't have women lining up to fuck or date them, for difference of women...

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  • Aren't you little old to wait for guy to text you?

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  • Maybe the guy is waiting for you to call or text

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  • I prefer face to face communication over text.
    But I suppose sometimes you just want a little bit of space

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  • Because we don't feel like it

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  • Girl, say something to him... don't be there suffering...

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  • I find that I am the one in your situation. We can't all reply instantly.
    I have been ridiculed by friends because I don't reply often, thats because I don't go onto my phone very much.
    People do have other things to do which require more concentration than the ability to multitask.

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  • I suck at texting lol.

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  • Why don't girls call or text enough?

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  • Too many women to manage at once

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  • We don't wanna be a bother

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  • Ironic as hell yet true.
    I don't text back either because I'm playing video games, or watching a movie. Or sometime I don't really like you at all :)))))

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  • by 'enough' how often are we talking?

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 11

  • Not all guys behave in exactly the same way as the guy you're into does.
    My boyfriend was always, and still is, the opposite. I never really call/text him unless it's to do with confirming or changing plans. He'll call me in the morning to say hey, or between classes to let me know that he misses me.

    If a guy isn't calling or texting you as much as you'd like, a good place to start would be to ask him why, or let him know that you'd love it if he got in touch with you a bit more often.

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  • OMG I really want to know this also, it annoys the heck out of me especially he I am missing him and I see that he hasn't text be bck. I find that when a guy really really likes you. He will be happy to text and want to hear your voice not wait for hours to do so. I had to come to the conclusion that the guy may not be interested in me or be with someone else.

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  • Firstly if you want to talk to them, how about you call or text them instead of 'waiting around' to hear from them huh?
    And further more, a lot of men have lives you know, scratch that, PEOPLE, people have lives. Work, friends, family, hobbies... texting is not at the top of their priority list.
    Not everyone enjoys pointless, mindless, endless conversation...

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    • 15d

      If your waiting on a guy to text you chances your not the only one he is texting, it could be worst he could be texting you non stop because your the only girl he can attract

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    • 14d

      @lostgirl_searching
      Exactly! And especially when you're close to or in your thirties... I mean half the time I forget my phone at home or in a different room. But then again my boyfriend rarely touches his phone, I've been with him when he's misplaced it a whole weekend lol.

    • 14d

      Right!!! Haha my boyfriend does the same thing lol he always forgets it especially when his phone doesn't fit in his pocket. I wish I can find those cellphone cases that you can click on to your pocket, but I haven't seen any.

  • Well it depends, like with my boyfriend he doesn't really like using his phone to text or call but he still does it with me even though he hates it because he knows its important for us to communicate. I guess it really depend son how long they take. They could be busy or something and thats why they couldn't reply as soon as possible but it could also be because they aren't interested.

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  • I can't say I've had this issue happen often, but when it has it's typically been legitimate reasons or the dude just wasn't that into me.

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  • Guys don't like text and calling all the time. People have lives and are busy. They don't have time to be giving you attention 24/7.

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  • "enough" is highly subjective.

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  • either he is really busy or is testing your patience

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  • I had a conversation about this with a guy several times. The one guy I talk to on a regular basis texts me quite a bit. He is a busy guy and he does like his own space, but he does try to find a compromise for me. As for the phone calls, when we talk, it isn't daily, but that's okay. Do I think he's off with other girls? Nah. He needs a break. I can be a handful. Haha. He likes me, so I'm not concerned about that part. Life gets crazy, so flow with it.

    The only time I would be concerned is of he only texted or called me after midnight. I ain't no booty call. 😎

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  • They don't do it on purpose, they could of been doing something and then forget. I do it all the time I will read the text and couldn't respond because I had to do something and then I forget.

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  • I think that texting you a message it's a really really boring thing for guys. I used to have a really big problem with that some years before. I don't know what changed about him, but now it doesn't happen anymore. Be patient and talk with him about your worries. Friendly advice.

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