Has your "type" ever completely flipped around?

My whole life I thought I had to have a gamer girlfriend, atheist, metalhead, darkness loving, morbid, super nerd into the nerdiest stuff.

I married one. It went horribly. Now I find gamer girls a turn off. Metalhead girls? Eh, not that interesting like I used to think. Morbid and dark? It's a turnoff now. An intelligent nerd? Hmm still pretty attractive honestly lol.

Now I don't know what my type is. I think "type" is bullshit actually.


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What Girls Said 7

  • The problem is that none of the items you listed has any importance whatsoever to the success of a long-term relationship.

    Yr "type" should be a combination of...

    * Sexual compatibility (this is INCREDIBLY important)

    * Preferred amount of "structure" in life (advance plans vs. spontaneity? Following a pre-charted path vs. branching out? Etc)

    * Social preferences:
    ... extroversion/introversion?
    ... going out/homebody?
    ... if one person is more introverted, or more of a homebody, does the other person have a big enough friend network, and are they ok going out WITHOUT the partner?
    ... alcohol/drugs? If one partner is clean/sober and the other isn't, does the situation work?

    * Financial attitudes...
    How do you see money?
    Do you live within yr means?
    How do you view yr partner's money in a couple situation?
    What level of material comfort makes you happy? What is too little? What is too MUCH?

    * Is one of you much neater than the other? (Trust me, a relationship between a neat freak and a slob will NEVER EVER EVER work, no matter how committed you think you are)

    * with what values will you raise children together?

    * How much communication do you need/want? When together? When apart?
    How much is too little?
    How much is too much?
    (believe me, going through a long-distance phase will iron *this* one out fast)

    * How involved do you want yr family and yr partner's family to be in yr lives? And in yr children's lives?

    * How much do you expect yr partner to stay in physical shape?
    How much time would you be OK with yr partner spending on workouts and fitness?
    Do you care about eating together, and eating the same food at the same times?

    * what is yr daily schedule like? Morning person? Night person? Do you care if yr partner sleeps and wakes at the same time as you do?

    __

    There are others, but, these are the most important things that come to mind.

    Yr "type" should be based on these things, because the rest is irrelevant bullshit that will probably change anyway (what % of "dark" "gothic" people are still that way at my age, 1 percent? And they're mostly not straight, or not the type to get/stay married, anyway).

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    • 13d

      Yea, this is pretty much the conclusion I made. What makes a relationship great is all the deep stuff. I just didn't know what the deep stuff was back then. I was lucky to get a girl to look at me, let alone end up getting married!

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    • 13d

      Hm that's a tough one.

      In that kind of situation, I'd react the same way as when a good dog unexpectedly bites -- you don't counter-react right away, but you WORRY... and you take the dog to the vet, because that kind of thing is usually the result of some underlying sickness, injury/pain, or some other issue (which the dog can't communicate in any other way, since dogs don't talk).

      Same here -- I'd look *everywhere* in the person's recent history and life circumstances, to try to find a reason or explanation for what would otherwise be a red-flag behavior. After all, when it comes to *emotional* communication, most people aren't any better than dogs!
      If I could find a plausible explanation, I'd write off the behavior and TALK through it with the person. (Unwillingness to talk at THAT point? Cut the rope.)

      If you really can't find an explanation, and it's something that has happened more than once -- under conditions that aren't otherwise unusually stressful or full of

    • 13d

      hardship -- then you've got yrself a tough decision to face... because that's a problem of underlying values, which don't change easily at all.

      No one's perfect, and it's *possible* you could live with some shit if it's limited enough in scope -- but, the thing is, a lot of people are on their best behavior early in a rl. So, that's why those red flags are so red... they're indicators of stuff that all too often turns into a more serious problem later on.

  • I have a type but I agree that it's BS because in the end someone can come along and totally change your world and be so unlike anything you ever imagined.

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  • The people I've crushed on so far all look completely different so it's safe to say that I don't have a type.

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  • Oh, yeah. It changes as you mature and actually discover who you are and what needs you have. In middle school. I was all about the guys who looked like the Zac and Taylor Hanson. In high school, I was digging the surfers and skaters. Before graduating, I was attracting to those southern guys with the big trucks with country music blaring and Confederate flag flowing.

    Yeahhhhh, well, I have moved on from those days. 😂 I don't think I truly have a type now.

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  • At least you know what your type ISN'T. Good to get that out of the way.

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  • Yeah, I like smart thoughtful guys now but before was a whole nother story 😳

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    • 13d

      What was it before? Jerks with leather jackets? ^_^

    • 5d

      Lol no I liked a guy who was my friend who had no ambition and needed my help with basic homework. Back then i liked sexually charged dumb guys, now I like guys who can stimulate my mind and body.

  • As women I guess we flip around monthly if not weekly

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What Guys Said 3

  • YES, when you get deep into it, you will see the truth.

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  • I used to like east Asian girls. Find them beautiful because of their genetic race phenotype, and also culturally.

    Most east Asian girls I have met are sobby, look down on other races, look down on even Asian men, and in a way wanna be white.

    Most I have met are hypocrites, complain about white men having "Yellow fever" even though it seems most of them have "white fever"

    Are the most privilaged minority out there, many times even more then whites, but are some of the whiniest race baiting libtards white hating people out there and are doing well off compared to other minorities. (I'm not even white by the way)

    Now obviously this isn't all Asians, only the ones I have met personally.

    I am not sure why but after having this experience my mind (to some extend without me really noticing) started falling for black women, black culture, I started finding black women so beautiful and personally I always been treated well among black people and I get along with black women.

    I don't know what flipped in me, but this was my experience.

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    • 13d

      I like black women too. But I can't handle black culture, it's way too social for me.

    • 13d

      A well known psychologist once did a test and found 95% of women will screw up your life somehow.

  • Not really. I don't want to waste my time and money on someone I'm not planning to be with forever. I have better things to do. I'm not a people pleaser.

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    • 13d

      Hmmmm.. if i didn't know better, I'd say you were me, but with a different name.

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