Does this make me a really bad person?

I have a Vietnamese boyfriend. He's first generation and pretty traditional in his family values. He talks about how his parents are going to live with him when they're older and I know it's a long ways out and we probably won't eat married but I just could never imagine living with my husbands parents, particularly ones that are abusive like his. I feel really bad because I don't think i could ever overlook it no matter how much I love him.


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What Guys Said 1

  • yeah, you are a bad person.

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What Girls Said 5

  • If abusive means harsh punishment. That is part of their culture and some don't even see that as abuse. (Noted from various Asian Youtubers that talk about their parents) and well is also morals. They are his parents and they raised the boyfriend u love, so they can't be bad. Besides Asians values includes family orientation. So is seem harsh to not let parents or older relatives live with them, since putting them in a home or being alone is kinda cruel. (Im Hispanic and this is also seen an important in our culture. Family comes first)

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  • It's cultural. Most Asians are against putting their parents in the home. Family comes first. The parents took care of them when young, so in turn they take care of parents when old. It's really not that big a deal. Most elderly Asian parents i've seen are surprisingly able-bodies and are a great help with kids.

    As for abuse, if you're speaking of the traditional definition, yes that's bad. You should talk to him about that.

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  • I'm a Vietnamese, too! Time is now changes, and not many asian's parents still thinking that way anymore... they become friendly, easy going,... Every parents wants the best for their child, and in asia that maybe too much care than in the other parts of the word. But that just when us some little kids and teenagers! When we passed the ages like 25, they are easy going because now you know almost everything to take care of your own life! You have your own job and everything! Don't be worry dear, I think everything will be alright, when you and your boy pass the learning ages!!!🎉🎉🎉😄

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  • This doesn't make you a bad person at all and I agree. If it comes to that point in a few years, you shouldn't have to put up with them if you're not comfortable with them. I wouldn't have abusive people living in my home

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  • No just end it

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