He isn't sure if he wants a relationship. What should I do?

Hey,
So I've been hanging out with this guy for a little over a month. At first we started off just hanging as friends. But when he kissed me at his house on our 4th time hanging out we quickly started to develop feelings and a romance. When we are together we are completely happy and lovey dovey. He holds my hand and is super compassionate and affectionate. We mess around and are completely monogamous with one another. Everything seems to being going great, but after a recent conversation he said he's unsure if he wants a relationship and although we act like we are dating he doesn't want to admit that we are dating just to mess with me. He isn't interested in anybody else. We both got out of bad relationships like 3 months ago. And he says he's over his ex and that he feels sorry for her. She was very dependent on him and had a drug problem and recently he found out that she slept with two of his friends. He says that we should learn more about ourselves before becoming serious and that he is kind of skeptical about jumping into a relationship. He wants to go with the flow and see where life takes us, but I'm an anxious girl and I just don't want to waste my time. what confuses me Is why are we hanging out and acting like a monogamous couple if he isn't sure if he wants a relationship? If he wasn't sure then why would he initiate all of this. He says he's not going anywhere and that he really cares about me.. I know I should be patient though, I just struggle because everything is so gray.

How can I make him desire to commit to me and formally date me?
and
How can I relax and go with the flow without worrying that I'm gonna end up disappointed and not taken seriously?


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What Guys Said 2

  • He's full of shit and you're stupid. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WASTING YOUR TIME WITH SOMEONE THAT SAYS HE ISN'T SURE HE WANTS A RELATIONSHIP? This is a classic ploy guys do. He doesn't want a relationship but he'll damn sure fuck you. He doesn't want one with you personally unless you just want to fuck I don't give a fuck what he's told you. It's all lies. What you say to him is "well when you are sure look me up IF I'm still single." Then get on with your life and forget this game playing pussy

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  • He doesn't want the pressure of a formal relationship. Remember, he is just out of what you say was a bad situation.. it is natural for him to want to avoid a new commitment for a time. He is too young to feel like he needs to jump into anything without taking time to think it over,

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What Girls Said 1

  • You cannot make anyone desire to commit to you. If I were you, I'd walk away because it's obvious that he's not interested in something serious. If you keep things going with him, you will end up being hurt.

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