The mind says no but the heart is opening up?

I've been seeing this girl for the past month and things have been going fairly well. We've probably seen each other like 7 times and we started sleeping with each other on the second date. Anyway, I just got out of a 1 year relationship 2 weeks before we started dating so I don't feel ready for anything serious, also while I find her to be very sweet and kind and attractive there are things/flags that bother me enough for my brain to say she's not the one for you even though we're compatible. I know that she really likes me and she's hinting that she wants more and my brain is saying no but my heart is starting to catch feelings for her.
This morning we both agreed that all we really want is someone to settle with in life and then she said "but noooo you have to leave in a year (moving countries)". I replied with yea I do and you know that I just got out of a relationship so I'm not ready for anything serious, I just to date for now. She seemed fairly sad as she was about to leave and I tried getting her to talk about it but she wouldn't open up and just denied. Don't know what to do.

Updates:
13d Well crazy enough, she just texted me saying that she's already falling for me and knowing that I'm not ready for anything serious and that I'm leaving she can no longer see me. I'm actually so happy right now :), turns out I didn't like her at all.

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What Girls Said 2

  • That's your conscience talking really. You're scared it's normal you either want to take the risk or not it's up to you.

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    • 13d

      yea but there are two big red flags: she's very insecure and emotionally immature, she thinks all relationships are doomed to fail. Plus I am moving in a year and last thing I want is another heartache. I just don't see how anything good comes from this, but I will admit that I love spending time with her and that we do click. There are things about her which I love and look for a partner, but my head keeps saying no and I'm keeping her at an arm's length which I know is unfair to her and selfish of me.

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    • 13d

      So you don't find that type of behaviour off at all? It just screams I'm super insecure and unstable in my head.

    • 13d

      Everybody has their preference you shouldn't try to change someone just because you can't deal with their personality. That just basically means you are used or like a differente type of girl

  • wtf. you're happy she fell in love with you and you don't even like her?

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    • 12d

      sorry, I read your responses to others. she does sound like a basket case.

What Guys Said 1

  • That's just your dick talking. If you don't want commitment with her then just don't. I've noticed men commit just so they have sex guaranteed, and company... but not because they trust and want excusiveness with an specific girl... I smell this is your situation, so don't.

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    • 13d

      Yea sounds about right, but I'd be lying if I said that we don't get along well because honestly we get along very well and we have a lot in common so the foundation for a solid relationship is there. However, I'm not crazy about her and she doesn't give me any butterflies, I'm not super attracted to her. My attraction level for her is probably at about a 7 (not just looks, but overall). I'm afraid of seetling because I know I can find someone who I actually get super excited and nervous about seeing.

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    • 13d

      Sounds more like it. good luck.

    • 13d

      Thanks dude, it's so confusing.

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