How should a “nice guy/gentleman” behave or treat a girl on a date or wherever to not be perceived as boring or uninteresting? Any tips to do and say?

I know that being only nice to girls is not enough to woo them. It has put me in the friend zone several times. They have told me I am a nice guy and a gentleman, but they just saw me as a friend. I have realized that being myself is not good/attractive enough. I do not plan to change, but I obviously need to improve. It seems like I am everybody’s nice friend, but nobody’s nice boyfriend.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you're not honest, if you're making efforts to have a certain behavior with the ladies that isn't the one you have with other people, they're going to sense it. It's not a good thing to do, because we know it's a mask, and we need to know about the honest you. The one with faults, who doesn't hide what he thinks because he's "trying to be a gentlemen".
    We're not that fragile, and you do yourself a disservice by trying to show a 'perfect side' of yourself we'll know isn't all you have to show.

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    • 14d

      Good points. But what if I seem to be naturally that way with the girl I like? I do not pretend to be someone I am not. But I do behave a certain way naturally with someone I like because treating somene you like and a friend is totally different. If I treat her like a friend, most likely she will not feel special and see me as a friend as well and nothing more. I am kind of confused as to the right way to behave when I feel like I am being natural. Basically I treat all the girls I like the same way.

Most Helpful Guy

  • stop trying to woo the girl. Understand they had already decided if they are attracted to you after 10 seconds of meeting you. As long as you don't make any major fuckups on your date you'll be fine.

    Be straight about your intentions with them (after a 5-10 minute of casual conversation. you don't wanna come across creepy because you are overtly flirting off the get go)

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    • 12d

      How to be straight with my intentions? How do you say it?

    • 12d

      after you talk to them like you talk to everyone else for 15 minutes, you can flirt with them.
      Flirting can be compliments, extended eye contact, light touch.
      What I meant was also if you wanna have one-night-stands don't tell her you love her or are looking for a serious relationship. Just be honest and say "I'm not looking for anything too serious right now" so they get the hint.

What Girls Said 3

  • really, you have to flirt... most guys that are "nie" or "boring" simply aren't showing the right interest. You can still be a gentleman and flirt a little.

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  • polite

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  • be yourself

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What Guys Said 2

  • I just don't think it's as hard as you're making it sound. Take her to a hipster restaurant, order a bunch of small plates and split them. Be yourself, talk about your life, your work, and shift the conversation to the food each time a new dish arrives. Hopefully you get a couple overpriced, hipster cocktails as well. Then you take her to a comedy act or a theatre production... unless it's a firstish date, then you opt for something that allows you to talk the whole time. It should work.

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    • 14d

      Thank you. That is the thing being myself is not working haha. Being myself seems like the sure way to rejection. Most likely though I also did not appear attractive one bit to them.

  • be talkative

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