Is it true that most of the first moves are made from guys?




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What Guys Said 79

  • It's quite impossible to analyse without carrying out an extensive survey but most people seem to have the impression that it's the case. I've certainly been much more aware of guys chasing girls than vice versa. Many would say that this is because a girl is likely to have more male admirers than males would have female admirers. Not in every case but on the whole. Average male would have a lot less interest than average female. This is also partly because many guys are often much more prepared to do anything it takes for sex, regardless of the real level of attraction.

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  • Most gave are too shy and not confident enough to do that, even though both men are women are brought up in the same society. Guys are meant to be somehow more outgoing than girls, pay for dates, do everything while girls just sit there and look 'Nice'.

    I did that when I was a teenager, but now I go for confident girls who are going to meet me halfway.

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  • Many believe that men make the first move, but it's actually the woman that makes the first move. You have to give us the cue to make our move, whether it's eye to eye contact, smiling at us, batting your eye lashes, and some are even bold enough to walk up and sit right by us, it's only then we make our move. So yes it's perceived as us making the first move, but you gals are the ones who cue us to make that move.

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    • 13d

      @underconstuxion206.. How can a girl ever give him those cues, if he's always avoiding the girl he likes or always around his friends? What do you think?

    • 13d

      Will he talk to you about school stuff? Or is there anyway you can get him separated from his friends?

    • 13d

      See thats the challenging part is figuring out how to get him seperated from his friends without looking aggressive.. plus when we talked before his friends interrupted? what do you think?

  • Traditionally, in the US, guys are supposed to make the first move, pay for everything, etc., while the girl plays the field..

    Ugh, I gave up on that at age 17

    More and more, guys expect girls to at least meet them halfway!

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  • Probably, but in my case, I've dated a few girls so far and never once made the "first move" with any of them. My problem is that I'm oblivious to things like body language and verbals cues so I wouldn't notice it. I was at a party once and was waiting to use the bathroom and a girl came up to me and told me that I could use the bathroom in her bedroom. I declined because I didn't mind waiting and it wasn't until later on that I realized what I missed out on.

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  • I have never made the first move (except once, years ago, when I got rejected). But I have still been in relationships.
    I don't see myself making the first move in my life ever (unless some miracle happens). And if that means I have to remain alone, so be it.

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  • I think guy's get rejected a lot more then girl's do. Making the first moves has a 50 percent chance of turning out good. So guy's I feel have the most to loose besides their pride and ego.

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  • Probably. Someone has to do it to get things done. Girls tend to claim that their vagina entitles them to not doing anything in this regard, so they just don't.

    Luckily it doesn't apply to every female on the planet, there are those who do take choices in their lives into their own hands, instead of just avoiding responsibility.

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  • yes because women dont want to seem slutish or desprate being the first one to make a move

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  • yes but I don't like it

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  • In my experience, most of the hints and moves are made by the girl in order to let you know that they like you.

    So by the time you reach them and think that you are making the first move, it's basically a guided move.

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  • Nope.
    The first move is the female reciprocates eye contact and smiles.
    Opening a conversation or flirting with a girl who isn't interested feel slike running into a brick wall.
    Mostly the woman plays the safe passive part (Like smiling) and the guy has to make a commited initiative (like asking out on dates)

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    • 13d

      This has been my experience, just sometimes guys interpret being polite, smiling with flirting. Usually guys who approach me do it, thinking I was flirting when I was being friendly just having eye contact and smiling.

    • 12d

      @healthycharleene Yeah that happens sometimes. It's a byproduct of the way humans flirt :P

      Flirting is noncommittal and vague by nature. Women who do flirt use the same exact things that friendly people do, the difference is they just do it more towards one person. What do you do when you're trying to flirt? make long eye contact, smile a lot, try to initiate conversations, maybe "accidentally" touch him a few times. Right? So it happens that people may misread your generally more friendly than average nature as flirting.
      Hopefully they are adult enough to take a "no" once you tell them you were being friendly and not flirting. :)

  • Well, it depends on what you consider as a first move.
    For instance, if a woman appearing provocative on purpose towards a man, and then he makes a move, who really made the move first?

    Either way, I still think it's clearly men.

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  • Depends on the people involved, the level of attraction, the social setting; but overall, yes. Mind you, that is in my experience. Not just in the USA. Been to Thailand, South Korea and China where this is also the case, and expected to be. Now, on the other hand, two of my most memorable relationships began with her making the move on me. It is refreshing, but could also be a major league red flag, depending on the usual variables.

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  • Men are expected to make the first move. Women don't do it because they don't want to seem easy...

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  • Until about age 35, it is the social convention that the male is expected to initiate contact.
    After that age, a combination of a declining number of available men and declining interest among those men, motivates a significant number of women to make the first move.

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  • I know a lot of women expect it to be. But that thinking needs to change in my opinion. I want/like women that make the first move.

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  • obviously yes

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  • Yes, I think so. I see happening way more often. Not a single girl who I realized that was interested in me made the first move, for example.

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  • This seems to be a trend. It's more of a social aspect if you ask me. Girls are very much capable of making the first move, though we've USUALLY been brought up to believe it's the guy's responsibility to do so. Thus, more often than not, the guy will make the first move.

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  • no I think the first moves are from women. they let you know if you can make a physical move with their body language.

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  • From what I've noticed yes, I do wish girls would make the first move more often but it is pretty rare in my opinion.

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  • The woman must give off signals, no signals usually drives off people that don't want to be a harassment or waste their time with someone that doesn't seem interested.

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  • The first physical moves, yes. But not the first psychological ones.

    What most people don't realize is that, before a man ever makes the "first move," the woman has likely already made ten, probably without even realizing it.

    I'll see if I can get @Redeyemindtricks to take it over from here. I have neither the energy to spare nor do I think I'll be able to explain this properly in comparison to Sharingan.

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  • Yeah, cause most girls won't do it

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  • 90% of the time, yeah.

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  • I do think so

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  • Wow really? I would have never guessed.

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  • Probably, yeah, Were expected to, But, Personally i'd never make the first move.

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  • Yes , because women are hardwired to expect a man to confidently take the lead. It does seem most male advances are unwelcome to most women , so a man has to study & learn the ( alien to our brains ) subtle female cues to avoid the typically harsh female rejection , witnessed this so many times working as door staff.

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  • More from Guys
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What Girls Said 33

  • I've received tons of first moves that I didn't exactly signal for.
    With my boyfriend who was completely clueless, I made the first move - this just to address the fact that most girls will go after what they want at some point, or give 1001 hints about it. If a man is being turned down, it's most likely because the girl is NOT interested, didn't signal anything and the man is just making a move just because.

    Guys on here seem to confuse equality with biological differences. In general, a woman not approaching is not just a social construct, but a biological difference.

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  • Yes it is mostly true but things are changing. I've had to make moves before to show the guy I'm also interested. I don't make the guy do all the work. That is unfair.

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  • Depends on what you define as "first move".
    If it's literally initiating the conversation then yeah I'd say it's still mostly guys but when it's generally "hinting" or "giving signals" that you're interested I'd say it's at least even if not more often taken by women.

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  • I made the first move with my ex. I usually make the first move flirting wise but usually wait for a guy to ask me out but I did ask my ex out and have asked a few other guys out.

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  • At the beginning a relationship, yes absolutely! But once you've been together for a while, it's pretty even.

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  • I would say yes however sometimes a girl should be flirtatious to let the guy know she is interested too. I have always let a guy come to me, but there have been times were I had to let him know I was somewhat interested in him haha.

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  • No its made by the women were the ones on the other ending using jedi mind tricks trying to will you to make the first move. We normally have to set men up for the first move.

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  • I've always made the first move. most of the time it's worked out quite well tbh.

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  • i think it depends on the individual

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  • it all starts with the woman a smile a look and the man wil be over pretending to be talking to her but we know who really pulls the strings men would like to think they do but they don't

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    • 13d

      What man thinks their pulling the strings? Why do you think so many guys complain about being the approachers and the ones who do everything in regard of getting into a relationship while girls just sit there and choose?

    • 13d

      @DanReynolds if you were black you'd have women approach you... black women will approach their man as i had a black male friend and when he went to the bathroom and when he came back there would be notes on his desk with their numbers... i still think its mutual if there's a girl who you think likes you she probably did something to make you believe that

  • I find that if the guy approaches me - that my interest in him grows about 20 - 40 times more than it was before. Whereas if I do the approaching - he could be a cardiac surgeon - and I would not find him to be as attractive as the guy who approached me first.

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  • yeah usually

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  • I've always made the first move, most guys love a girl with confidence, and the man i have now, who i am married to now, if i wouldn't have started the convo, i wouldn't be with him now.

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  • Yes, but tbh I like it much better when the guy approaches. It's not cause I'm afraid or lazy, it's just sexier in my opinion.

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  • yes like I don't even make a move its so hard, like for me its hard to make eye contact and I don't get how its easy for them

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    • 13d

      It's not

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    • 13d

      We're no better and have just as much of a hardtime approaching women knowing they will turn you down to have turn around and do the weird look to her friends. Just think about that next time a guy approaches you, he probably took a lot of his courage to get there so be nice and cool about it and be flattered and show some CLASS

  • completely

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  • I think so

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  • No. The person who wants it more usually initiates first

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  • Yeah I would say the majority of relationships are like that but not all are.

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  • I think guys are better at making first moves because men are naturally more risky and daring. But girls let their nerves really get to them. So guys usually make first moves.

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  • ıt is true

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  • I believe this to be true

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  • Yea it's true. Guys usually make the first move more often.

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  • Most of the time. Normally a guy asks you to go to the cinema or wherever

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  • yeah

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  • Physical move

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  • yes!

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  • 🙄I kissed my boyfriend first. I've always been the one to make the first move on anything. I WANT him to make a move on me but he never has.

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    • 13d

      You deserve to be treated like a Queen by him because of your bravery, personally if i was your boyfriend i wouldn't treat you like a Queen, i would treat you like a Goddess :)

    • 13d

      @sweetshyguy ☺️Aw thanks

    • 12d

      You're welcome, i owe girls like you a lot because if girls like you didn't exist then i would be alone.

  • My current boyfriend basically held my hand throughout a whole work function when we were just co-workers. I guess your right but it's not always the case.

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  • I don't know.

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