Guys, Why do guys who are afraid to commit do serious relationship things with the one they want but still keep their options open?

I'm just wondering what or why do guys do this? I understand that you want the woman to be happy but what makes most women happy is if you have faith and build together. How can a woman make you feel secure so that you don't have to look? How can she make you feel confident enough to move forward when you are not quite ready? Are guys only confident when they have it all together? What is wrong with having a little faith? When you are not happy does it block out how you really feel about her making it hard to open up or feel anything for her when you know it's there from the first time you saw her?


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What Guys Said 3

  • I don't plan on getting married anymore, but I'm still interested in long term relationships/word commitment. I don't believe a contract and involving the State, without even mentioning divorce laws, is necesary in any relationship.

    Honestly, as long as I trust and see a woman worth of abstaining for, I will. If the relationship is completely fine, we get along and like the company and the sex is great trust me I wouldn't risk losing it. It's hard enough to find girls who are worth it.

    Assuming the relationship is going well, the moment a girl starts pushing or asking for marriage despite being aware of what my ideals are then that would be the beginning of the end for me. To me happiness comes by volition and real commitment that doesn't depend on whatba contract says. But that's just me. She's free to walk away anytime or stay as long as she likes if we're good together, I offer that because I want that offered to me too.

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    • 9d

      Awe. Yea I met his family just three months into dating. I wasn't rushing anything. I don't know what his intentions were when we first met but I think one day he woke up and realize how much he really likes me. 2 years of ups and downs has happened and he pulled back and vice versa. I never pushed anything on him but sometimes it feels like with me being around I make him feel pressured. He says he has changed bc of me. We are really close and can understand each other. Problem is when things get rough he pulls away and start calling us friends. I pull back and even use no contact but he fights to keep it together. Once he even stated "eventually we will get in relationship"... he said he is afraid of letting me down. When I try to be there for support it's hard. Especially when he tells me he wants it but pushes me away.

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    • 9d

      Sounds like he isn't sure what he wants so he's holding your situation off. Maybe he is in my shoes (again, all I said is just my perspective), or he hasn't thought or doesn't want to think of any prospect. Since you know him it's good if you talk to him to figure out what he expects/wants without pressuring nor lookong too far ahead.

    • 9d

      Thanks

  • Why not?
    You know how fast people, in general; lose their attraction?
    The only thing that keeps women interested would be if the guy has options, other women... people want what others have... simple.

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    • 9d

      2 years and he still misses me but he's scared

  • Sometimes there's just too much uncertainty.

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