Unhappy with boyfriend personal hygiene?

I've been dating my boyfriend for 2 months, at the beginning he was always dressed nicely and seemed washed. Today I called over to his house ( arranged this last night) and his t shirt has stains on it and he smelled a bit musty, there was potato crisps crumbs on sofa and I was hurt at how little effort he made, he joked he had a scented candle in his bedroom but I know this was just a hint about sex, long story short I made an excuse that I had to leave, he is off work this past week and whilst I understand that he is chilling, I think he could be paying attention to being clean and present able, his teeth would be in really bad condition and I'm worried that the honeymoon period may be over and I'm dating a guy who doesn't care.

Updates:
8d Just also to add, I have a severely disabled child, at best she sleeps for 3 hours per night, I had to pay a carer today to go and see him and this along with the lack of sleep just makes me wonder if this can be a relationship

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What Guys Said 7

  • Um... he's off work... yea its time to be just a guy...
    and im sorry if this comes off as a little sexist and even as im saying it i think it is, but the stereotype is real... guys are gonna be guys, but women are there to make sure that we don't go TOO stupid. So why not just clean all that up for him?
    Yes, i know what that sounds like, but i also know what it feels like when a girl comes over and sees im/my place (which it rarely is) is a mess and cleans up a couple things... i could have handled it, but she did...
    You won't think this is that sexist when he bows on one knee one day with a diamond... watch.

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  • lol i dont know, i have had plenty of gfs complain about how i keep my "empty" waterbottles in a pile and forget to throw them away and then spend an hour or so throwing them away... they are not doing anything, they are just empty plastic bottles. but it obviously bothers them. so they can fix it.

    now on to HIM, now if he can't take care of himself, that is a thing. if u think he is not clean or does not take care of himself NOW, then obviously this will turn into health issues later down the road if u two stay toghther. and it might cause issues with ur child i dont know. so i think it depends how much is HIM and how much is him being lazy around the house. thehouse u can help on, while HIM is going to be really hard to change at this point in his life honestly. u can try talking to him and obvserve him for a while, but most likely he won't change.

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  • OK are you dating a younger guy?
    and it's not a call off... you can help him to stay tidy n clean teach him something he will adore u for

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    • 8d

      He's 36, I'm 34

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    • 8d

      I'm a responsible adult, I guess I have enough encouraging a mentally handicapped child to wash without needing to do this with an adult. I appreciate your opinion though

    • 8d

      you are strong mother!

  • Tell him about it. If he doesn't care, no sex. We will care soon enough. Or if he doesn't care either and he doesn't respect your opinion on such an important matter (because IT IS) then bye bye Boogerman.

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    • 8d

      I hear you lol. Thanks for your advice x

  • he's a dude off of work. What do you expect.

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    • 8d

      so you're a single mother complaining about dating a dude. should have thought of that before being a single mother.

    • 8d

      My husband died from stomach cancer in 2008 so I sadly never chose single motherhood

    • 8d

      damn that sucks too young to die of cancer.

  • Do you really like this guy? well if you do, you could just tell him about his hygiene issue. Or if not, just drop him off.

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  • just talk to him about it

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    • 8d

      I know, it's hard cause no one wants to offend anyone else but thankyou, maybe I'll find the right words x

What Girls Said 2

  • Ummm... he is a man! Shit, you get me on a good day and I will still have crumbs on the sofa! It was his house and he was off work... let him enjoy himself! Obviously, he wanted to see you or you wouldn't have been there. You freaked out and left... that is your fault, not his! I'm not trying to be rude, but what did you expect?

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  • Just break up with him saying that this can't work. Because even after the honeymoon stage people should still make an effort to be clean and presentable.

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    • 8d

      Thanks for your advice, I just updated my question there to add that I have a disabled child, she woke today at 3am yet I still managed to shower, do hair and make up and arrange childcare to go and see him.

    • 8d

      Omg I'm so sorry! It must be hard to keep up. But again, he doesn't seem the type that will keep a stable job to support ur baby's medical expenses if needed. Because how one takes care of themselves show how they are on the inside. If any problems there are groups of support for mothers with disabled children. But don't stay in a relationship that you do not want to be. Children catch up to than and see that as a role model to follow

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