I met this dude on Tinder. We go out a few times and get along well. I really like him and I sense he does too. I go away for a weekend to attend a family event, and we text back and forth. I get back and hear nothing. Crickets. I text him and he totally blows me off the following weekend. I am hurt. I text him that weekend and he responds. A week goes by and I am ghosted. He finally texts a week later as if nothing. (Makes no apology and just asks how I am.) I wait a few days and respond. Wanted to see what he had to say and if he would ask me out. I send him a text from a venue I am at and he responds with a lame text. I don't respond out of frustration. I'm thinking if he is truly interested-he will reach out. Any thoughts guys?
Most Helpful Guy
You're wrong. Tinder is impersonal. I ghost on tinder girls all the time and it's largely to do with the sort of mindset you need to have as a man on tinder. If, as a guy you go on tinder really expecting to find a girl you care about or even a girl you will eventually have sex with... You will be disappointed. It takes tons of likes to even get a conversation and of those most of those girls will ghost you because they get so many matches. If you get a match and it goes well... Then you have to figure out how to actually meet up with this girl, do research into what she likes and set up a cool situation to meet up... But it won't ever be casual... It's always a bit forced due to the nature of how you met.
So as a guy there gets to be a feeling that you are chasing the girl. Real men HATE chasing women. Real men pursue women, and the difference is simply power dynamics. It's the difference between sprinting towards a goal and meandering towards a pleasant sound. The sound is not your goal and you will go in a different direction as soon as it displeased you. When it comes to tinder you always feel like you're sprinting so after a time guys need to perform a check to see if the girl is actually interested or if they just like the attention.
We check by pulling our attention back a bit and seeing if they pursue us back. Also, when I get a text from a girl who says she's at a club or a venue... I immediately assume she isn't getting enough male attention where she is and is thus phoning out for some guaranteed male attention from me. I may or may not choose to give it to her.
Anyway on tinder... Since guys go in with low expectations, the guys you'll actually want to talk to more will be the ones who are most likely to pull away if YOU don't show interest. Because they weren't expecting to find true love on tinder anyway. Consider this too, the best people to match with on tinder r the People who usually delete the app for long periods of time and hop back on randomly. The people who are constantly on it are kind of sad. Those higher status dudes and ladies generally just don't care as much but it's easier to notice the difference with a guy, because since he cannot see you constantly his interest waned even faster. If you find a guy you like online in general, and they don't suck then you are always going to have to pursue. That's kind of the poi t of online dating. To give women the control. Men without constant visual stimulation act sort of like women1
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