Girls, Why are women so hypocritical about "players"?

Dating for the most part is and has always been at the mercy of women. As a man you can try to do a lot of things to impress her, but at the end of the day, its up to her whether she dates you or not. I don't mind, as it creates a challenge and I can see where I can improve. However my issue is with women who act dismayed and offended if you say you flirt with multiple women at once. Most women I've known have HUNDREDS of men in their contacts, DM's and on social media who they flirt with constantly. Once a pontential guy is gone, she moves on to the next bachelor on 2 seconds. Heck sometimes she'll flirt while she's still dating someone. And this is considered normal. I don't condone cheating. And I believe in being faithful. However, some men need to test things out to see where personalities click. Wasting eachother's time hurts both parties. If somethings not going to work out, waiting for the inevitable doom of rejection is stupid. If I have a few options (who are people I enjoy spending time with, sex out of the equation) then I dont see the big deal.


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What Girls Said 24

  • I guess it really depends on what you mean by dating. If your not in a relationship with anyone then you are free to see whomever. I'll probably get hate on this post. But how else are you supposed to meet people? You don't instantly just start seeing each other exclusively. So there is a period of time where you are just meeting up with people to see what they are like.

    I usually just meet guys for coffee, take a walk and talk to them to get to know them. No sex involved. But that's my preference. Sometimes after talking it becomes apparent that you both are just not compatible on key things. Which is fine, no harm done.

    Honestly though, if you are single, then it's no one's business who you flirt with.

    So I don't know why it is a big deal. Once you start to develop feelings for a person and things start to get more serious, have the conversation about where you want things to go. If you both decide you want a relationship, then you stop talking to other people.

    in my opinion a player is a guy who has actual relationships with multiple women, though the women have no clue because he lies about it. He tells each woman that she's the only one and actually makes her believe that. When he says he's working over time, he's really chilling at Girlfriend #2's house. When he's on vacation with his family he's really in Mexico with girlfriend #3. THAT to me is a player.

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  • Maybe I'm just not like other women, but typically if I'm getting to know one guy, I'm getting to know... one guy. So I'd be lying if I wouldn't be a little hurt if he wanted to flirt with other girls.

    Ultimately if we barely know each other and he's keeping his options open, sure. If he wants to flirt with other girls fine, I just don't want to know about it. But if he senses that I'm getting serious and we go on a number of dates, BOTH PARTIES should cease desist flirtations/chatting up other people.

    On a side note, playful/harmless flirting while in a relationship I don't make a big deal out of as long as it's not sexual or it has no intent behind it.

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  • I think you make a good point and it kind of makes me think whether or not I think that particular way.

    My issue with your opinion, is that I don't really necessarily think that guys who flirt with multiple women (or talk to multiple girls) are 'players'. Players, by my own definition, are guys who date multiple girls at a time--which is not the same as flirting with multiple girls. And I'm not really sure what you're calling 'flirting' either. Just because ANYONE has multiple people of the opposite sex in their contacts doesn't mean that they flirt. It very easily could mean that they just get along better with the opposite sex and they prefer them as friends so that's not an issue.

    Anyway, I think you make an okay point, but I don't think your assumptions make sense because I don't know many girls who think that guys who hang out with a lot of girls are considered players. But maybe my friends are different.

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  • Usually girls are only hypocritical of players as in those who try to hook up with them and their friends, the ones who sleep with the girl and then dog her, or guys who are in a Committed/Exclusive relationship but are seeing other women on the side, so cheating. This is what I think a player is but a guy who just dates multiple women and is Not in a committed relationship, I don't see as player.

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  • Players have a repuation for " playing" with other people's emotions. It's heartless to intentionally hurt someone that way. They use manipulative tactics to get what they want, and have little regard for anyone else's feelings but their own. I despise manipulators. It's the worst trait a person can possibly have in my opinion

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  • That's not the definition of playing someone. Girls want all your attention, that's true but then you shouldn't show that you're interested in someone else. Neither should the girls show that. It's tacky TBH. I don't do it.

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  • I'm not at all offended by flirtation whenever I was single. If anything, like you mentioned, it brings out the competitive side of me. But I mean, I'm the type of girl who is really honest about what I want & what I don't want.

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  • I think it's an American things because in my country we don't do that. If we go to a date with someone we can't flirt or have a date with another man until we properly reject the first guy (the one we go on a date with). Because if not it's considered like cheating. if girls flirt with someone else she's considered a slut and if the guys do it he's considered a player which is not seen has a positive things at all.

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  • Well if a guy told me that he talks to a lot of women I would assume he isn't looking for anything. Every one does have different dating philosophies though so i guess it depends on the guy and how he comes off.

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  • A player to me is someone who plays a woman just for sex, they sweet talk her making her think they want a relationship and he is really into her and only her, showering her with attention and once they get the sex they dump her and move on and she feels crushed and used because she really liked the guy.

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  • Ughhh I'm going to try and make this as short as possible... okay so I'm going to start off by saying... when a person is in a serious relationship, I feel social media should be put at a hault until you get to know the person. To be honest I feel social media has robbed a lot of relationships at becoming successful and getting to actually know one another. Now with that being said... it is not right for girls or guys to do that, but I feel the main reason for that being done is because others think it's being done to them which more than likely it is.
    In my opinion, if you want a relationship to succeed, if this is going to be your boyfriend or girlfriend, stop the social media for a while.

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  • If I'm getting to know someone seriously then I expect the same thing from them. If I find out they're keeping their options open and flirting with other women I become uninterested. I don't like that. If you're a player stay away from me. I don't know about other women but I don't have huge numbers of guys coming after me. I get the occasional message but I don't respond. If I didn't have that many guys I definitely wouldn't be single for months at a time.

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  • women don't have more choice than men. its up to you too if you choose to date her.

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    • 5d

      i also dont think talking to multiple people is playing someone.

  • I can't talk for all women/girls, girls will chat with guys online, but that doesn't mean that she will cheat on her boyfriend. I'm pretty popular online and I get tons of messages and sometimes it's annoying cause most of the guys that write to me have girlfriends or are married. Most girls on the hand, will not take their time to hit guys up, if it's not the guy that hit them up first. So that guy most think that the girl he is hitting up is pretty and fantasize about her before hitting her up. It consider cheating if a guy writes to girls online that's my opinion though

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  • I don't have a problem with a guy flirting. It's when he is sleeping with other women that perturbs me a bit. 😋 💜

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  • ı am not

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  • ım not

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  • You're right, I dont know why, maybe i flirt because I know it won't go further

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  • Why be offended, everyone casually dates...

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  • Can you shut thef up. You're just whining like a little baby

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  • It's the same thing as "Why are sluts got enough to fuck but not good enough to marry? "

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  • That's not what players do. Players lie and cheat. They don't have the intention to be faithful. They are not interested in a real relationship and they know they're not going to get in to one, or at leastthey know that they will not be loyal the someone. Yet they lie to women saying they really like her and that they want/is looking for a relationship. That's what's wrong. To lie and cheat people into getting sex, not caring about really hurting the people you play around with is disgusting.

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  • Lol... so you know a bunch of sluts?
    Really though, it's the same on both sides. Slutty girls, Andy slutty guys will sit there all day complaining how there's no decent women/men these days... eh... how about you be one yourself, then you might attract one.

    For me, one of the biggest red flags for anybody should be these people who say all men/women are bad for whatever reason, or that there are no decent ones. All that means 99% of the time is that they're like that themselves, or that they're kinda dumb and repeatedly make the same mistake and choose shitty people.

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  • And that's fine I just wouldn't be interested if I knew because it seems like your just trying to find anyone and I am not... so it just wouldn't work for me.

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