Im starting to fall for someone else when I'm already in a relationship. What should I do?

I absolutely love the person Im with but I don't think I'm in love with them anymore. It feels like we're friends instead of a couple. I feel lost because I don't want to loss my boyfriend but there's another person who I'm becoming really close with and I'm starting to fall for him. I'm so lost and don't know what to do. Please help me and don't be nasty because I'm not cheating.


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What Guys Said 3

  • I'm wondering if you are judging something new and exciting against something that has become a bit routine and stale. Did you question your feelings for your boyfriend before this new guy came along, or have you only questioned them SINCE he came along? Sometimes people can be hooked by the excitement of something new and then it causes them to look at their own relationship.

    My concern is that you might be tempted to chase a rainbow rather than to work out why your current relationship isn't ideal and to try and make it better. The answer isn't always to leave, sometimes it is for both of you to renew your efforts.

    You say that you don't want to lose your boyfriend but is that about actual love or is it about familiarity? Letting go of something consistent and stable for something new and unknown is a bit like stepping off dry land on to a boat. The boat might take you to new and more fruitful lands. Or it might sink. It can take some courage to let go of stability. However, if the love isn't there anymore then that land is barren. There is nothing there for you. You have to have the courage of your convictions if that's the case.

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    • 9d

      Honestly we have had problems for a while now. I considered leaving then but having the thought of someone else who's interested in me makes the thought of breaking up easier. I thought this new guy liked me but today he has ignored me all day long so god only knows what's going on. I told my boyfriend the other night that I wasn't 100% happy. All he said was 'are we gonna break up' I told him no and he rolled over and went to sleep. It really hurt my feelings. Also my sex life is plummeting. The last few days he's been better. I only think it's because I told him I wasn't happy. I'm just so lost and confused. I don't know how to feel.

  • I am going through something similar only I am the other guy who she was giving me lots of signs and interest for months so I ask her out and she said she is already in a relationship I except her decision because I don't want to ruin a relationship but we chat more now and I feel we getting more closer and I just don't know what she is thinking?

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    • 9d

      I'm just so lost. I love my boyfriend but it's becoming more like a friend or family love not a passionate love. I told him the other night that I'm not 100% happy and all he said was are we gonna break up then rolled over and went to bed. It broke my heart but made me realize that maybe this isn't what I want out of life. But he's still good to me but I want to feel the fire again. I don't think I see that happening. Ugh why does life have to be so hard.

    • 8d

      you have 2 choices either stay and work things out with your boyfriend try and getting something back out of your relationship give it time or end things and pursue the other guy these things are hard but you got to follow your heart and sometimes your decisions in life aren't always going to be popular

  • Try to imagine your future with both guys. Which future is brighter?

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    • 9d

      The other guy I think but I'm still lost because I don't want to hurt my boyfriend. But the other day I tried to tell him that I'm not 100% happy and all he said was are we gonna break up and rolled over and went to sleep.

What Girls Said 1

  • You should break up with your boyfriend. If your boyfriend happened to fall in love with someone else, wouldn't it be the right thing to break up with you?

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    • 8d

      It's not that simple to say break up with him. We've been together for two years. He actually came to me last night and asked if I still love him. We discussed the situation and said we would try to work it out because he doesn't want to lose me.

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    • 8d

      How I'm I suppose to break up with the person I love. Who I've been with for two years to someone who I don't even know has feelings for me. It's a little extreme. I'm trying to make my relationship work not quit because someone else might be interested.

    • 8d

      If you loved him, you wouldn't fall for someone else.
      Umm, so you actually want to ensure that the other person is a 100% interested before breaking up and trying to pursue them. Devilish, but plenty of women do that, so...
      *shrugs*

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