I am really upset and don't know what to do. After coming out of a verbally abusive relationship, I decided to take a break from dating. Of course that doesn't always work as planned so for the past 4 months, I've been seeing this guy who started off nice but I'm starting to see some narcissistic qualities about him. He made plenty of mistakes with me and he is terrible at communication. I told him many times that communication is important for me yet he never seems to want to do that. When he does something to upset me and I get upset, he doesn't want to deal with it and is ready to drop me off home right away. I've been so good except that a few days ago, I told a white lie so that I don't ruin the nice night we were having. I was trying to not mention an old verbally abusive ex from 1.5 years ago because it's a horrible memory for me so I "lied" about it and said I had a nice ex. Right away, I told him that I lied and I mentioned to him why I say that and of course I apologized. Then, he told me that one lie leads to more lies and doesn't trust me anymore. I repeatedly apologized and told him that talking about my ex is toxic for me yet he doesn't buy it. I'm not saying I'm right, because lying is not cool at all but aside from that, I've been very truthful. Every time he messes up, he just tells me that he's not perfect and I should just except that. Well, I'm not perfect either yet I'm being punished like hell for this even though he's made more mistakes than I have (this is the only one). What should I do? If all trust is lost on his end, should we just end it? He never wants to communicate about any issues at all. Like anytime we have time to talk about various things, he desperately tries to change the subject or tries to avoid it all together. I have no idea what he wants out of me. Please help. I would love brutally honest opinions about this even if it's something like "you fucked up". Thank you.
Most Helpful Guy
You didn't fuck up, in my opinion you did everything right. Nobody likes to hear about someone talking about their ex, it's a sign that they haven't gotten over them yet, so you not talking about your ex in the beginning was good. It was very honest of you telling him about how you lied about your ex being a nice ex, but that's not always necessary. Sometimes it's better to not mention things, I don't think you deserved the response you got from him for it, but if he didn't ever find out that you ex was good or bad, it wasn't going to break you guys (I hope I made sense). As for him blaming everything on you and not letting you make simple mistakes like that, then I think there's something wrong with him. Communication is key in a relationship, you have to understand how the other person feels or what they want and don't want, that's the main thing that separates us from animals, is the ability to work things out.0
Most Helpful Girl
1. You can choose to date or not, it doesn't "just happen". 2. You haven't dealt with your issues from your previous relationship and you're taking it out on you new boyfriend whether you're consciously aware of it or not. Actually take time for yourself and deal with those issues or you'll keep taking emotional baggage from past relationship and holding the current person you're with accountable for some else's actions when they aren't.0