I have been seeing this guy for 2 months now. The first few dates he offered to pay for a few things (although he never paid for the full date, if he got dinner I'd then buy us drinks or something like that.). I'm not the kind of girl to just sit back and expect the guy to pay for everything, I always offer to split from the very beginning, but I still think it's nice if he offers to pay, and I think the first few times the guy should always pay. I don't mind going halves more often than not but I still think he should offer to pay sometimes, especially since we've only been seeing each other for a short time. It just shows courtesy, it's more about the attitude and not the money.
Apart from the first few dates, he never offered anymore. He just assumes we'll go 50/50, I pull out my wallet and he gladly takes my half without saying a word (and sometimes even keeps the change). This wasn't bothering me that much until last week at the movies he turned to the guy at the counter and asked for ONE ticket. I took that as him making it very clear he was paying for his and I'd be paying for mine, but I thought it was very offensive since I have always been prepared to give him my half anyway, I thought asking for one ticket instead of two was just plain rude. Then we went to sushi and when the girl asked 'are you paying together or separate?' he straight out said 'separate please'. Why couldn't he have just said 'together' and I'd have given him my half? I have always offered to split, so I don't get why he felt the need to do that.
I want girls, but mostly guys to answer me: is this sort of behavior normal? is he just cheap?
He also takes me home from our dates every time we go out (I don't have a car) but he said the other day that sometimes he might make me take the bus home if my place is too out of the way. I then showed I was a bit shocked and he said he just disliked women assuming he'd always drive them home, and its been done to him in the past. I thought it was crazy, even my friends offer me a lift when we're out, I think if a guy and a girl are seeing each other and out on a date, he's driving and she's not, he should ALWAYS drive her home, no excuses! If I had a car and the guy didn't, I would gladly drive him home, I would NEVER ask him to take public transport!
Am I overreacting here? He always seemed like a nice guy but now he's showing really weird/selfish behavior, and I don't know what to think. I don't wanna waste my time with someone who is just not willing to do nice things for me, because I'm the kind of girlfriend that always bends over backwards to keep her man happy.
Any insight is appreciated.
Most Helpful Guy
I always split half and half with any girl I take out. If it was going to be my future wife, then I beg to differ. I feel like women need to carry their own weight accordingly and it shouldn't shock you if the guy wants to pay separate.
The gesture of asking for one ticket or split tabs shouldn't be taken the way you see it. Isn't it easier to pay separate anyway instead of fussing around with change and having the hassle of putting half on the card then half in money or working out how much you owe him because you don't have change? The thought of it makes me cringe, its just easier. Also maybe you take forever to do so, I don't know I am just thinking here.
The car thing does sound a bit sketchy to be honest. I wouldn't want someone riding our dreaded bus system when I have a car. If I am financially cracked and gas money has been draining the bills, then I wouldn't consider it. Actually f*** that, if I really appreciated someone I wouldn't bring the thought of them riding the bus. Maybe it was in a joking connotation? But then again, driving someone place to place to place gets irritating because you are paying for it and it does get costly after a while. It's like a taxi drivers worst nightmare.
I would pass the other cheek but be more aware. If more things come out that show signs of being unappreciative then don't waste your time. If it is just one of those weird and unfrequent things, then don't take it too hard.
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