I don't think anyone is for me?

When I was 15, I dated my first boyfriend. He was my "first love". I did everything for that man, and he didn't do shit for me. He cheated on me. We dated for 3 months. I'm 24 now and I truly don't want to love anyone else even though I'm over him. I lost all attraction to him. How do I know? I still see him time from time and he wants to get into my pants. I have zero attraction and zero feelings.
The thing is now, I don't trust any man that tries to date me. I have dated/talked to a bunch of guys after my ex, but there is no spark. If not, I just don't trust them. Every guy I have a spark with it I always have my gut telling me not to trust him. Supposedly these men end up broken hearted, but I just don't seem to care about it. I'm 24 and feel truly hopeless I will never find love. I have a crush on this guy, but I don't trust him. I also feel insecure that he may not like me back. So I have to be really careful about what I do.
Does anyone else feel this way?
also how could you tell a man truly likes you and it's not just for sex!


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Most Helpful Guy

  • He didn't do shit for you.

    Is that true? Were you trying really hard and he wasn't even during those three months, or is that just what you're saying once you found out he cheated?

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    • 2d

      He truly didn't do shit for me

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    • 2d

      ... well don't. Don't put up with someone who treats you like shit and doesn't throw effort into making you happy. Don't invest in someone who isn't falling for you like you are for them. You don't need to hold back and be a worse girlfriend when you were 15, what you need to do differently is demand more back, and if you're not getting the relationship you want, don't wonder what you're doing wrong, or try harder, instead, wish the person well and -move on-.

      Sure, there's a chance you run into someone who keeps up an amazing act, but it's really really unlikely. Most of the time, people who are jerks seem like jerks if you don't ignore it because you like them, and people who are genuinely into you act like it.

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      Awh thank you

Most Helpful Girl

  • You will know instantly when someone is the one just stay positive and think about getting your life together doing things you always wanted to do. When you don't think about guys that's when the right one comes along.

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What Guys Said 18

  • it sounds to me like you actually aren't over this initial relationship that ended in him cheating. you dated him for 3 months 9 years ago.

    here's the tough love portion... at some point you have to move on and get on with life. i've been cheated on twice so trust me i understand the scars it creates. first girl who cheated on me i'd been with for 20 months and she had been cheating on me for about 17 of those 20 months. second girl i'd been with for two years and had bought an engagement ring. it can be hard but we have to allow ourselves to trust again and give people a fair shot. not everyone cheats so not everyone is going to be like your 1st boyfriend. so allow yourself to trust people who are deserving of it

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  • You need to get into a project or a club or activity where yu share a goal with other people. Dating is only for players these days, mostly..

    Try to meet guys in more natural situations where you have something besides romance in mind. Then, what develops is going to be based on real affection and shared goals and values in life.

    Easy to say. I know. Not so easy to bring off, these days. But it's not like you are the ONLY one. I think most people are more or less in your situation, whether they admit it to themselves or not.

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  • the standard sign for determining if a guy likes you is if he is willing to talk about mundane things with you. This does a couple of things:

    1) If he's thinking only about sex, a mundane conversation will quickly dwindle in relevance, in his mind, and he won't be able to maintain it.
    2) If he doesn't eventually just stop talking to you altogether, that shows that he enjoys your company.

    You still want to be cautious, though, as some guys identify this as a possible 'test,' and will fake it just to get into your pants. However, such guys are usually going to be successful getting any girl to sleep with them, and if you have a long string of mundane conversations with such a guy, they'll likely just abandon the idea of sleeping with you in favor of pursuing a girl who requires less effort. That said, there's no reason they can't pursue multiple girls at once. So, if you find a guy who can maintain multiple mundane conversations with you, check his phone. If he talks to a lot of girls, he's probably playing you. If not, he could be 'the one.'

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  • It's impossible to presume you know anyone true intentions. You could live with a man/woman for 50 years and learn all his/her secrets and all there is to know. But if you tie that same man/woman up and suspend him/her over lava you will learn a hundred new things. You have to move on not everyone is the same and you will never know unless you go for it. I would never cheat nor would most others who have felt the pain we have. There are plenty good people out there.

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  • wow... issues, though honestly sounds a lot like typical chick issues.

    trust is mutual. a guy can fuck u and the chick can fuck the guy. BOTH of u need to trust each other in a relationship. either of u being ass holes fucks the whole relationship up.

    as far as what a guy likes u, a lot of girls ask this. its pretty straight forward. obviously anyone can fake this, but over time it gets tedious.
    a guy that mets u and wants to get in ur pants and doesn't care about ur name or anything doesn't care about ur stupid hobbies and little stupid shit u do... he just wants to fuck u.
    a guy that likes u, is goign to what to know what u are doing with ur time. where u were. all the stupid shit u like to do. the names of ur dumb stuffed animals on ur bed. he will want to spend TIME with u, besides just having sex with u. me and my ex loved our alone time but we also had set time for each other every day. we would watch army wives... ya it was to make her happy lol, besides a few of them were hot anyway lol. but like all the weird stupid shit u do, he will want to know about it, or hear about it, or watch u or something. it should be pretty apparent. i use to like watching my girlfriend do her homework out of the corner of my eyes while i played games. i always knew what she was up to even when she thought i wasn't paying attention to her.
    once we were out with family and she got hurt, i was busy doing something and i was at her side before anyone even knew she was hurt. because even though i was busy i was still watching her... some girls might try to freak out, till they end up in a ditch and they dont have a boyfriend to help them. my girlfriend was very accident prone, most were bad ones, that i won't even mention. it was a good thing im not a small person and most people dont like to deal with me.

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  • give it time, there's always another guy.

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  • Being a little realistic goes a long way... you don't have to fiddle in bed on day 2 but being too closed off to explore sex conversations after healthy grow spurts in your relationship would just be crippling yourself

    Keep in mind... the special connection we call 'the spark' is based on meaningful conversations, sexual tension and a healthy tug of war between the two

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  • I dated a girl 4 years ago. She dumped me for another guy. To this day, if a girl shows interest in me, it's always in my mind that even if this girl does date me, she would suddenly leave me for someone better. To be honest, it's about how well connected you become. If sex is involved, then it's like an easy reward that can be gotten from anyone.

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  • ok well if the picture on your profile is you.. you a damn knockout! and any man that does not find you attractive must be gay.. Anyhow finding love takes time and a lot of work but it comes when you least expect it so dont worry

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  • you r right

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  • You may be over that guy but you aren't over what he did to you. You need to let it go which is easier said than done but you are effectively blaming every man that has interest in you for what some child did when you were both 15.

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  • First, if you are yet to forget a guy who cheated on you, that's OK, but that also says you are yet to come across a person whonwill make you forget that crook.

    Second, it is obvious that you hate boys, but please donot generalize. All men are not of same type.

    I am sure you will come across that man who is not "Mr. Perfect", but is going to change your life for better, and will be able to reduce your pain.

    All the best.

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  • I am sure you will find men who will love you. You just need to put yourself out there more

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  • you just need a big break from dating, and you need to spend time on your own

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  • I mean, no one said you couldn't stay single. Specially with all those issues.

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  • Hits my palm on my forehead :)

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  • You can always try and plan for being forever single just in case it does happen. Get pets or something, develop new interests and hobbies and set new goals for yourself to accomplish and achieve.

    It may happen that you'll eventually find someone that truly loves you for you, or you may not. Like rolling the dice, spinning the wheel, flipping a coin. Just do what you can and whatever that you are willing to do. You can't force love and attraction to happen either way, it either happens or it does not happen.

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  • You need some serious help

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What Girls Said 1

  • You haven't met every single person in this world, therefore you cannot accurately claim something like that. Maybe there is someone for you too, you just haven't met him yet.

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