My girlfriend called me a nigga and said it's funny, what should I do?

My girlfriend called me a nigga and she's mexican, she thinks it's funny to and I tell her to stop without getting violent or doing anything of that nature and then one day she told me, are you not black? I said I am and she said then you're a nigga. Should I be offended or not?


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What Girls Said 15

  • Honestly, it depends on your sense of humor.

    Me and my boyfriend make mild, but PLAYFUL racist cracks at each other. Neither of us are racist but we like to joke around. He'll say white people only eat cheese and bread and all that kind of stuff but we don't throw around slurs.

    I think she really doesn't mean it to be offensive. But if it bothers you, well that's up to you. I can't decide what's offensive to you but I can say I have a feeling it was not ill intended and she just has a more raunchy sense of humor.

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  • Touchy subject, but I'll go for it.

    From what I gather, people of color feel as though they can use any racial slur, without consequence because they are also of color. But when a white person says those same things, it has crossed the line. She is Mexican, so she feels more comfortable saying "nigga" because she is considered a minority, as are you. It would be the same as you calling her a "wetback" or something offensive towards Mexicans, without meaning offense. There is a lot of grey area when it comes to this. On one hand we should say that all racial slurs and offensive terms should be done with. But on the other hand, there is no denying that these offensive words exist, and we generally allow people like comedians use them. (But, of course, those comedians can't be white.)

    I don't know what to tell you as far as trying to explain to her that you don't like that word. She may have grown up in an open environment where her family use those terms, in a light-hearted way.

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  • Explain to her the difference in connotation when your buddies use it versus her using it. I'm assuming that you're offended because she's reducing the word to the color of your skin, so tell her that what she's doing is the equivalent of you calling her beaner, or wetback. I'd be offended if my husband called me those words, just like I'd never call him a cracker just because he's white.

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  • As long as She is a Soulmate and not Some Stranger off the Street you Meet, calling you the "N" is Fine down the Love Line.
    Maybe you Could Call her a Hot tamale? xx

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  • I don't think she realizes it can be offensive like I mean black guys say it all the time in rap or hiphop videos and there always all these memes around " when a nigga this and that" instead of "when a guy" so yeah I don't think she means any harm? Perhaps you find it offensive because she is not black and is saying it? Just tell her sweetly that it's a big wrong for her to say that and it bothers you if you want.

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    • 5d

      I've told her to stop on many occasions and she knows how much I don't like it and I tell her to stop and when she told me I'm a nigga because I'm black then yeah that's racist, it isn't the same when your friends do it because they don't just go around calling you a nigga, they do it in different context, she doesn't do it in that type of way, if you know what I mean

  • do the same to her and see how she reacts... and tell her you find it offensive

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    • 5d

      I did and she said it's completely not the same and got all pissed and said I offended her and her family

    • 5d

      its the same... good for her! she must grow up and accept what she did >:(

  • I'd definitely be offended. That's horrible. Call her a wet back, see how she likes it

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  • Call her a spic. And if she gets offended, well tough cookies. Maybe she'll learn her lesson.

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  • You have the right to be offended but I think your girlfriend doesn't know that she's being racist.

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  • No, its like if someone called me a Wog. Its just were you come from, who really gives a flying poop.

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  • call her with another name

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  • Stop being so over sensitive

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    • 5d

      It's the same as me"jokingly" calling her an illegal alien, if you were in my shoes would you just laugh and say oh okay

  • "I'm not your nigga, your homie, your cholo... I'm your man. Your man wants to be respected. If you want to keep this beautiful black dick headed south of the border, senorita, then refer to me with respect."

    Humor, but firmness.

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  • Start calling her vag your personal beef taco, call her a "Beanie", ask her why she hasn't picked any fresh tomatoes for you, and buy her a bottle of lemon pledge as a gift with wrapping paper and a box.

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  • You said "without getting violent" as if that made you a good guy

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    • 5d

      I mean like without getting too overly mad, but what are you implying? It's my fault because I'm black?

    • Show All
    • 5d

      @SoFeckinAddicted Just because a man hits a woman, doesn't mean he's not a good guy, she could've hit him first.

    • 4d

      @Winrey700 still doesn't warrant hitting

What Guys Said 12

  • yes i think you can be offended

    i'd be offended. the simple fact is that while i don't think the word should be used by anyone, many feel ok using the term and use it conversationally with people who are also ok with being called that or using it... but if a person is not ok with the term then it simply should not be used with or around them and that is where you girlfriend is crossing the line and disrespecting you

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  • I hear Mexicans say that all the time, and I don't see black people getting offended when they say it basically.
    Basically, from my experience, they only find it offensive if a white person says it :/

    But anyways, if you're offended by it, tell her, but if you have to ask us if you should be offended or not, it sounds like you're just trying to pick a fight.

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  • Quite the tease, she is
    either lighten up = watch movie Brian's Song to see what this might be about
    or get sensitive and dump her
    or start a fight & call her pepper belly greaser? maybe not!

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  • Just to make things stright first! the word black in Spanish is (negro and/or negra) for her it's more like a funny fact, but not for you. Communicate with her and tell her to stop calling you by that, it won't happen in one day, be patient, she is not racisit it's just a bad habbit people have and some times some habbits are really offensive and dangerous. Talk to her and you two will be alright.

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    • 5d

      She didn't say negro she said nigga, it's really different because of the context and way it was used, and I do communicate and I told her to stop maybe 5 times over the span of months and she keeps doing it

    • 5d

      Keep telling her and make stand for it. There is no difference between the words for her (in her mind) however! it's not an excuse. Would you consider breaking the relationship because of this? If yes, tell her. If no, still! tell her.

  • It doesn't really matter if it's racist or not, if you don't like it she shouldn't do it.

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  • Tell her, "Who the fuck you calling a nigga? Bitch, I'll throw you back over the Trump wall!!"

    She'll be pissed, but she'll get the message.

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  • She's not trying to offend you, she just thinks its funny (in a non racist sense) just sit down with her and tell her it honestly just makes you a bit upset, or don't let it bother you.

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  • As long as she doesn't call you a muggle 👌🏾

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  • Nigga is not the same as n**. It's connotation is not MEANT to be the same TODAY'S conversation.

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    • 5d

      ... I hear good friends (black and non-black) calling each other nigga all the time.

  • Smack her in the head and tell her to get glasses.

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  • Just ignore it, it was just a word.

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  • you just hit her to death of course.

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