He doesn't have time for me, but still cares?...

Me and my ex boyfriend dated for two months...everything was perfect, we were basically inseparable. He treated me like a queen. It all changed as soon as he started working full-time for his dad. He was tired all the time, moody...not to mention he started smoking weed again. See, he's used to having all the free time in the world...before me he never had a job, had all the free time in the world. Biking is also a big thing for him (he bmxs). I confronted him one day asking why he never wants to do anything anymore and he said "i don't have time" I questioned him about it and he said "you don't understand..i don't even have time for myself anymore." So I asked him what he meant, because I didn't understand why he felt he had absolutely no time for anything. But he just said I didn't understand...i was so hurt because I wanted to understand. In the end he said that maybe it was better that he didn't have a girlfriend right now...so I started crying, and then he hugged me and was crying on my shoulder.

So I left and a few hours later he texts me and tells me I forgot some things and told me to come and get them. When I get there he's laying in his bed and motions for me to come and lay down..so I do and he starts cuddling with me. Nothing happened we just slept. Then the next day he texts me and says sorry and that he wants me to know this isn't my fault and that he cares about me a lot, he just needs time by himself to figure out what he really wants...

I accept it...don't message him or anything. But he still continues to contact me acting completely civil and friendly. He even asked me to still come to his aunts wedding that I was supposed to go to..so I did and everything was good and we were having fun..but then the alcohol kicked in and I wanted to talk about things..because I'm still so confused. So we do and he tells me the same things and says "don't you want to just move on"...i was so hurt when he said this...because how can you want someone you care about to just move on...later that night he even dedicated a song to me..i don't know what its called but with the lyrics "you are so beautiful to me"..

so I'm really close with his mom and sisters, and I still hang out at his house and see him there from time to time and when I do we talk and were civil with each other. He flirts with me, and always glances at my phone and asks who I'm talking to..he even stood over me, put his head on mine and actually looked down at my phone to see who I was talking to. And then asked why I closed the conversation.

I care about him deeply, and I know things happen for reasons..but this doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel right for us to be apart. I'm just confused of what he wants..i mean I'm not hard to please, its not like I ask for all of his time. Does anyone know what could me going on here? Or been in a similar situation? Please help me!


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What Guys Said 1

  • I can see why your confused, and woundering what's going on. I'm trying to figure out what to say, becuse it sounds like from what you've said, is that he still loves you. But then on the other side of things. He's not sure what to do.

    I'm kinda thinking maybe the problem might be in regards to his busy life. You've mentioned the fact of him having so much free time, but then started working, and then everything fell apart from their. So it might be the fact that he's very stressed out from the time frame he has, and that it might have something to do with it. But on the other hand he's got to understand that just because your working alll the time, doesn't mean you have to break up your relationship.

    Now here's what I see. It sounds like you two see each other anyway, because your close to his family. It may not be the same time frame of what he had before, but it sounds like your willing to work with his schedule, and that you don't seem like it's affecting you, and at that point he's got to understand that. But again the stress of work could be the factor of it all.

    So I know you've mentoned the fact of talking to him about things, but I believe talking about the schedule dosnt afect your love for him. Because let's be honest. Love is stronger than time, and distance.

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