Guys, do you mind paying the bill for the first date?

Question

So a few months ago I asked, Girls, do you mind paying the bill on the first date? and the results were rather surprising because MOST women on that question said that it would be no problem, and that they would happily pay the whole bill on the first date. This question garnished a lot of attention and gave reasssurace to guys who were wary to female entitlement.

Now I believe in going dutch, which means splitting the bill, but I noticed how sensitive of a topic this is on g@g and I am curious as to what the results will be. :)

just a note: I AM NOT IMPLYING THAT YOU NEED TO PAY. I am just curious as to how you guys feel about the subject so do not take this the wrong way. Also girls can answer too. I want to see how everyone feels about this.

Thank you!

TripleAce · Accepted Answer

It really depends

A) For the most part - if we really like her and see our potential going far - Means our focus on each other is overpowering. So paying or not paying usually just flows really well. We both wanna take care of each other so it becomes easy. Who pays is last on our minds because we are into each other so much

B) HOWEVER - when a women feels she is entitled to the guy paying - that immediately puts a sour taste in your mouth and works against her. And a lot, a lot of women fall in this category

C) When she does pay - it usually makes us wanna pay more in the future. So she'll get rewarded for that later on

D) AND then you have those dates where she doesn't fall in any of those above categories and you just pay without thinking twice whether she deserves it or not

Conclusion --> i think most see it as we should always be in category A. If we're on a date he must see me as his first choice so he must want to give it his all. But since that is not always the case. Every little bit either adds brownie points or takes away

Yumix · Accepted Answer

eh... let me put it like this: I don't mind because the first date is nothing expensive anyway... but I don't see why guys should always pay on the first date. I can't think of a single good reason... sure, pamper her ass... but she can do the same with me. in my opinion everyone pays for their own shit, but I avoid that topic and unless she says she pays for herself I will pay her stuff too... just to not throw my chances out of the window.

but in my opinion the first date is to get to know each other and if we are then still interested and date more, I will put some extra effort and money into it.

so, yes I will pay but I don't necessarily think it's the right thing to do...

FinnishBeautyGirl · Accepted Answer

I would take money with me anyway, I am not a bitch even tho I like it a bit oldfashioned. And I really feel bad if someone pays for me. Because then I feel like I own then that money or similar thing.
Like the Black widow said. "I've got red on my ledger and I'd like to wipe it out."

I am not a rich person. Nor selfish. I do not want someone to pay even like 100€ on me. Because I can't pay that back that soon.

But. If he insists. I'll let him pay, because I do not want to start a scene or fight. But on the next date? It's on me.

SarahsSummer · Accepted Answer

It's really interesting. I posted a similar question a while back and got some really mean and awful responses with the general concensus among guys below 30 was "F that, she can pay her own way" or some other rude response which really blew me away and gave me the impression the guy actually hated the girl he was asking on a romantic first date. But here today most guys are gentlemen and say they'd pay or even insist on paying. Very interesting.

rgb008 · Accepted Answer

I always prefer to pay for what I eat on the first date (and always have).
But if he truly insists on paying, I'd let him.
If we never end up seeing each other again, I'd feel guilty for him paying for me lol.
But I still always offer to chip in and pay for dates and meals.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I think the problem is that guys put too much effort in on a first date. Take her to Starbucks and spend $15 max. At least if you're not interested in the girl or vice versa it won't be a problem because you won't feel bad because you didn't spend a lot of money anyway.

HandsomeRaj · Answer

1. I believe in and evince chivalry
2. However, from experience I've learnt that some girls treat it in a negative manner of sorts when the man wants to foot the bill
3. Hence, I offer to pay but don't insist or deny if she wants to go dutch
4. I am not paying to challenge someone's individuality, be dominant or flare their insecurity etc; I believe it to be polite and chivalrous hence I offer but I defer to point 3 above lol
5. Why, I've had situations when women have been put off when I hold the door open or pull out the chair for them ha ha

Lopezz1999 · Answer

Haha I understand where you're coming from, even as a 17 year old teenager. Most men who pay for dates do not mind, however just about all men would enjoy some kind of investment back from the girl. I would be inclined for a second date if the girl were to politely insist on paying for me and/or herself, or if she were to buy me a dessert soon afterward. Many men do not meet woman who make these offers simply because they aren't attractive to the woman, leaving them frustrated with the girl that will not pay for herself. For the same reasons of why men pay for women on dates, women will pay for themselves and sometimes for men on dates for men that they are attracted to. As a girl, surely you wouldn't mind paying for a guy that you found attractive in hopes of a future yes? Same goes for men here.

JohnDoe3000 · Answer

I don't mind.

... okay, now that I've confused everyone who read my comments on this subject here on GaG, allow me to explain...

I don't mind paying, though in the long run I want to split the bill. What I mind is women demanding/feeling entitled to me paying for them. But I will pay the whole bill if she offers to split the bill, or if I already know her well enough to know she's not going to ditch me and is not an entitled princess (I do think going to a fancy restaurant, or any restaurant, is not a good idea for a first date, but even a coffee place will still have a bill).

I feel the same way about any kind of (romantic) chivalry.

Anonymous · Answer

Looking at most responses to other questions, especially recent ones, on the subject of paying for the first date the majority of answers on your question by those women are bullshit. They always say that whoever asks pays - just the other day a girl complained about having to pay for a guy she asked out, and all the girls said he was using her for a free meal, that he was cheap etc. The only reason they say that they'd be finepaying if they asked the guy out, and that whoever asks the other out should pay, is because they rarely ask guys out so they know that really it means the guy is going to pay. They don't honestly ever expect to pay most of the time. It' bullshit.

I'm not even mad about paying for a girl I like, especially if I earn a lot more money than her, I just find the blatant hypocrisy very off-putting.

Anonymous · Answer

honestly for me this is a difficult subject I was raised being told I had to pay, period, so it's a pleasant surprise when a girl offers to split the bill, but I don't think any less of her if she doesn't offer, for me its not about control or making a power move, it's one of the things I do just cause I'm used to do them in a certain way, like offering my seat to women, the world is changing though, one girl was offended once cause I offered her my seat, she told she didn't want nor need it, and that she was not weak, I felt a little embarrassed, but I was only trying to be polite, but that's my final thought, the world is Changing and I do my best to keep up

PlacentaSalad · Answer

I will pay for the first date but the woman who offers to pay instead or at least suggests splitting the bill will have more of my respect than the woman who doesn't or that expects me to pay just because. It's about being courteous and showing your appreciation towards the other person. Even though most guys would still pay for the first date, for the female to at least offer to pay goes a long way with us and shows us that she just wasn't in it for the food.

God_of_Thunder · Answer

Personally, I would prefer to pay, as I believe that's the right thing to do. It's just natural, to me.

That being said, though; if she requested otherwise, I would happily allow her to split the bill with me. There's no reason to refuse, and I'd respect her decision.

If not, then I'd assume that I would pay, and be perfectly happy with that.

AleDeEurope · Answer

I wouldn't mind if the girl is putting an effort into the date, cause I know she's not there for the food, and when someone puts effort, I like to show appreciation.
If she doesn't put any effort, barely talks or just talks about herself, shows no signs of being into me or whatever, then I wouldn't pay the bill, just half.

JulieXO · Answer

I'm always willing to pay for myself, I don't see why the guy should. I would only pay for the man if the date was my idea. If he asks me out, he shouldn't expect me to pay for him. Same goes for girls of course.

lualesca · Answer

If i invite a womanm, i will pay because she is my guest.
If she invites me, i expect her to pay, because i am her guest.
If we are just friends who agree to go out, nothing romantic, then we go Dutch.

madhatters4 · Answer

i don't mind. i always offer to pay for a first date or any date. but i don't like anyone expecting me to pay for it

datgirl · Answer

I always pay for my own stuff. I never let anyone buy/pay for stuff unless it's my siblings or parents and even then I feel bad. The few times I've gone out and eaten with guys I never got the chance to pay cause we'd end up "fighting", or they'd take my wallet away or just flat out refuse and that was the end of the story.

Iron_Man · Answer

I'll take care of the bill on the first two dates after that Its a 50/50 split. I've been on dates and this one girl she didn't even bring her purse she had no intention of paying for herself and i just met her. I don't know what it is with you women like I'm going to do everything for you all the time.

ShortCircuit · Answer

I would prefer to go Dutch, I think it's most fair. If I have to pay, I'll pay, but there might not be a second date.

For the record, any girl who at least offers to pay is instantly ten times more attractive to me.

Máiiréad · Answer

I feel pretty awkward when people try to pay for me unless it is my parents. I'd probably try to pay for both of us LOL.

ladsin · Answer

I don't mind, I like some reciprocity, but I don't mind. Especially not if I enjoy their company.

Just my experience: gals I've been on dates with expect me to pay for them, guys I've been on dates with can go either way. They pay, I pay, we go Dutch i never know until the check comes out lol

TheOneAndOnlyBart · Answer

I'm Dutch, but I wouldn't go Dutch. I would happily pay for her as long as I know she isn't using me.

capturemyheartnow · Answer

I would expect the women to pay. Because , I think she will be only willing to pay if she wants to invest in the relationship. She need not pay if she does not want to go on a date. Now a days men are not desperate. So we want to test a women's seriousness from the fact that if she is willing to pay on the first date. On all other subsequent dates I can take the responsibility to pay the bills , but not on the first 3 dates.

NajemEddine · Answer

money is not an issue  but the idea that some girls have that a man 'should" or she is entitled makes me sick  its like they offer their time for u and think he must be really lucky or its an honor

JandM2014 · Answer

I insist to pay. After that for like 90% of all dates I want to be the one that pays for everything, but I would want her to chip in occasionally.

Guys, do you mind paying the bill for the first date?

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