Old flame..Should I call her now or later?

I dated my good friend's sister off and on from 2003-2006. Long story short, I was a selfish asshole back then, I only cared about myself & I wound up hurting her. She went off to college & has one more year left. I haven't seen her in two years. She hated me for like a year or so after we stopped talking in 07, at one point she said "we could never be together." She's very busy at college and isn't around much. Her brother told me this past XMAS that she missed me, I was the best sex she ever had, & she'd only talk to me again when I stopped doing drugs & got my life together. Since then I've texted her a couple times, she's going to France this summer to study, I said she should tell me all about it when I get back from basic training (I just enlisted), and she said "yeah definitely." She's smart, driven, and goal oriented & that's what she looks for in a BF. Because of our history I am taking it slow & just texting her every now and then & am waiting till we are both around in the fall (Ill be back from basic, her school) to call her & make any kind of plans to hang out. Should I call her just to talk & say what's up before I leave for basic in 2 months even tho I haven't seen her in 2 years & might not have a whole lot to say to each other at first? I don't want it to be awkward.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • first off, don't try to persuade her to like you again, when girls break up with guys the last thing they want is to be talked into getting back together. also, in your texts don't talk about yourself too much and how you have changed, she will think you are self absorbed. ask her about herself and be genuinely nice. if you ever want to get back together with her you are going to have to become friends again first if she hated you for an entire year. she is probably still attracted to you and being in the military is probably a plus. show a passion for what you do and she will see that you can take things seriously. make sure that if you do end up "hanging out" with her that it doesn't seem like a date. but yes you definitely should call her in order to straighten up anything that was left unsaid, otherwise you will regret not taking the opportunity when you leave for basic

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yes, make sure she knows how you feel, how sorry you are for being a jerk, and that you're trying to get your life together. Don't put pressure on her to wait for you, but be sure she knows you'll be looking for her when she gets back. Don't want some other guy to move in while you're gone.

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  • why not? just do it

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    • I appreciate that response, but I was kind of hoping for a little more insight from a female perspective...

What Guys Said 1

  • No, I would suggest that you stay focused at the business at hand and just hang with the guys. Go through basic training and call her on leave to get together. You can go anywhere in the military. See if she can send you off to war in a fashion deserving an enlisted man. Then let her go again so she can get on with her life and you can go to school when you get your four years in the service. You two are not meant for each other except maybe this one last time. Hit or miss it will be a memory for the future you can hope?

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