Why are women so dependent?

They want all freedom to be the same as men and I feel that they deserve that whole heartedly. I just don't get why they still feel everything is up to the man. I am old fashioned and feel the man should provide and take care of his woman no matter what. And I try to do that with every once of my being.

That being said through the current economic times it takes two people working to make a prosperous household. I know there are guys out there that make enough money for the household but I'm not one of them. I have no college experience and I realize that that is my problem. So don't tell me its my own fault and to stop complaining.

My wife is all upset cause we are a little strapped for money and she puts all the pressure on me to fix the problem. She does work and so do i. I'm not making the money I made at my previous job but still make more than her. So in today's world why is all the pressure on me. Why should I have to work three jobs or find another one that pays more when she is making no effort to better her career or find another job that will pay more?

I know this is really long but I am fed up with being the bad guy cause we don't make the money we used to.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, I do feel its the man's job to provide. However, I feel the woman should step up to the plate when times are hard. My ex was the one who brought home the money and I would make sure the house was spotless and he had his food ready for him when he walked through the door. His clothes were laid out for him while he was in the shower in the morning.

    I remember when he lost his job.. I was working part time. I bumped my hours to full time and picked up a second job. I was tired all the time. Sometimes, I was so angry at him(usually because the house wasn't clean... but now he was home and I was working all the time. If I had to step up to the plate, then so did he.) but I know one thing.. it felt so good in the end to know that I could take care of the household and us. My money paid the bills... I did it.

    Currently in my life, I would rather be able to take care of myself before letting someone else do it. I am apprehensive on the fact that I don't want to come off as dependent... but as someone who can do it on her own. However, I am extremely old fashioned. I do believe the woman should make things comfortable for her man. Run him a bath when he gets home from work. The house is clean... the food is cooked. Let him know you appreciate all his hard work. He is taking care of you, so take care of him. Too many women take that for granted.

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    • Glad you learned that you can do for your self. I don't need any thing cooked for me or my clothes washed or any thing else I am not 8 years old. And no one has to do any thing because of their sex. I would never want a woman who thought I should provide for her I would find that disgusting.

    • Show All
    • No he is saying that it is nice for EVERYONE to come home to nice meal a nice home a nice f*** a nice talk, independent of their gender,.

      what would you say if people of the same gender are together .. or I guess they do not count in this world....?

      it isnotthat people do not LIKE nice things being done& help, but gender 'roles' are very limiting & oppressive.

      - Giving up your dignity is called love in many circles-

      As far as I'm concerned, degradation is not sexy or attractive :)

    • Wow, why so defensive on how I feel about this? Gender roles.. they apply to who ever wants them. My best friend is gay and he is very feminine... and every much makes sure everything is done for his love. So, what about people who choose to portray a certain "gender"? Gay or not... are you going to bash them as well. I respect your views but don't bash me for mine. Thanks.

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What Girls Said 26

  • I can't stand dependent women. I am the total opposite. I am so independent that I never turn to guys for help whatsoever. My guy friend wants to help me and be there for me cause I hear they do want to feel needed sometimes. I just know what I want to do and what I like, and I just sometimes feel that a guy may take or get in the way of that.

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  • I personally don't feel comfortable depnding on anyone, financially. If I need money I'll get a job, if I need more, I'll get two jobs. I've never been married before but if I did, I def wouldn't depend on him to take care of me financially. I want to know I'll survive if he ever leaves me. And I wouldn't let him pay for everything bec that would make me feel powerless/useless, for some reason.. I know, I have issues.

    As for your situation, you can't force your wife to get two jobs, or a better job if she dosnt want to. But you could sit down with her and explain to her how you feel. And that you need her more than anything right now. If she can't help financially, then at least she could be understanding and patient.Tell her that is what you need from her during this tough time. Let her know you can't do this alone. When she finally becomes more understanding, she might try to help out financially. Its not easy, but try to remind her that you two still have each other and will work thru this "together".

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    • I totally agree with you ,communication goes a very long way,and the advice of sitting down and talking it through with his partner is the only solution to overcome this problem soon big issue.His other half can not act on what she's not aware of,i strongly believe you leaning to wards her and showing her the hardship on ur behalf is effecting you emotionally,she will be more than understanding,n will seek to reason and find that alternative to better the household aswell as your relationship togethe

  • I believe it is up to both you and your wife to make steps financially to improve the situation that being said I do believe with research men do get paid more (as a general sense) than women... but I do believe she should not pressure you and make you feel cornered... I think it she should have pressure on herself if she is the one having a problem with it and make plans with you as a partnership to cooperate and be of some assistance and support in obtaining her goals with compromise in gaining more skills for herself.

    I believe women can take their man for granted... she should take a good look at the struggles in single parenting and realize you're there to support her advance as well as yourself if and when you can.. not nag about money and put him down... realize when either are you are doing your best and work together on improving the situation.

    All the best.

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  • My man and I make about the same amount of money, and when we first started dating I supported us both. I feel in a relationship everything should be 50/50. I work, so does he, when I clean, he helps, and we take turns cooking. Everyone is strapped for cash, but the issue can be resolved, don't buy things you don't need, cook instead of going out to dinner. It's not fair to say all women are dependent on men, because that isn't true. I depend on him just as much as he depends on me. Maybe there's something else behind it, maybe she feels she has to work and come home and clean and cook and everything else. My boyfriend knows if he wants the house to be clean, well he better pitch in to help clean it. If she wants to make more money sit down and talk about it, tell her to get a second job and you will clean and cook or something, just compromise a little.

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  • I don't agree on women being too dependent on men especially finance. But sometimes we do feel mentally and physically tired trying to take care of the family. And the only thing we can depend on men is to hope they would provide more to the family.

    To all men, taking care of the family and household does not seem easy when women still have to go to work. Most men, they do not help out because they feel that it's not their job and they know it's so tired for them to come home and still do the housechores. How about women? Do you think they can manage to do it without you trying to help?

    It's physically drained and mentally exhausted after having to go to work and come home, still have chores to do and take care of the children. We are not being trained to do that so do be more understanding why women would want to depend on her husband instead of complaining.

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    • Yeah I do do all the chores when I get home. I cook every meal, I clean the house, I walk the dogs, I do the yard work, take care of the cars, change the baby, feed the baby. si I'm getting real tired of hearing about how hard it is on women. Blah blah blah, maybe the rest of the men in the world don't do a dang thing but I work my ass off in the house and at work. Why do women feel they are the only ones that clean and cook. most of my female friends that are married don't even know how to cook.

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What Guys Said 8

  • Some women get everything. If you as a man let her.

    In a divorce, SHE gets the cash, house, and kids.

    In a marriage, SHE uses sex as a weapon.

    In a wedding SHE controls the show.

    In an engagement SHE gets the pricey diamond.

    In dating SHE gets the wining and dining.

    Even in something as simple as a conversation, If she brings up a boring topic and you run take that thread and run with it, its not HER fault, SHES not boring. YOU are.

    Yes she will blame you.

    She will simply consider you boring and talk to another man who ignores that topic and talks about something more interesting and fun.

    Its never her fault. Its always yours.

    Typically this is what happens with women. They date the bad boys, and complain about them, then they settle down with a man who wines and dines them, even though they don't really feel turned on by them.

    Men wine & dine women, and women go along with it. Women are not turned on by these guys. But, their mothers taught them to marry providers. So, they bypass the men they really want and marry the men who please their mothers. After popping out some kids and purchasing the house, the unfulfilled wife divorces her husband, takes the house, the cash, and the kids, and then starts dating the men who really turn her on, and the cycle continues.

    Oh and btw you still think men should be the ones providing all the money because they make more than women? check again.

    "In 2007, women accounted for 51 percent of all workers in the high-paying management, professional, and related occupations. They outnumbered men in such occupations as financial managers, human resource managers, education administrators, medical and health services managers, and accountants and auditors"

    link

    Women want equality in the workplace, except when it comes to relationships.

    Men typically see their bank accounts depleted from useless expenditures on wining & dining and jewelry. They see how men are ridiculed and marginalized on TV. They see their divorced fathers living in squalor. They feel totally emasculated, letting their girlfriends call the shots.

    I won’t treat women like crap and don’t espouse the pump-‘em-and-dump-‘em lifestyle. I’m not trying to get more ass than a toilet seat and don’t believe women should stay at home. First, I treat women the way I want to be treated. Second, the laws of unintended consequences are alive: especially, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” Third, women have more civil rights than men. I never forget that points two and three compound each other.

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  • For women to have equal rights, they must give up some first.

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  • I do think your wife is being a bit too harsh on this whole ordeal your going through. But I also believe you're not telling us the whole situation. There's two sides to every story.

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  • I was once in a relationship where she lost her job. I was still making enough to support us both and was happy to do that. I've never had a problem with a lady depending on me. With that said however she got a job making minimal pay. She bitched about the job all the time and when I said anything about her looking for another better paying job she'd always excuse it that she didn't want to jump from job to job. After three years of this and her not taking any initiative to better her self I'd had enough. She was settling in a sh*t job paying less than what she was worth and she even knew it. She still made no attempt to move upward or find something that would pay better. It soon became clear that this was causing a great problem between us and in our relationship. Money was always strapped and I found myself working two jobs. Here's what I learned...If she was okay with me being the one to work all the time and make ends meet and she wasn't interest in getting out and finding or trying to find something better paying then it was very clear that me working all the time wasn't a problem for her. After doing some sole searching I realized that I would be better off on my own with just my bills and living expenses. She didn't seem to give a sh*t that all I did was work and she spent. After moving one withOUT her my money issues as well moved on. Life is to short my man. Get a grip on what's going on and break it down for her clearly and how you feel. Don't waste time hoping things with change without saying flat out what needs to change. If it does then great. If not then move forward and apart. You should work to live and not live to work! good luck

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  • It's not all up to the man no one has to do any thing because of there sex. I would never go near a woman who wanted to hide behind me or be protected and provided for, children get that not adults. The idea of treating a woman that way is disgusting and the idea one would want is is even more so.

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