How do you do this without getting hurt again?

I like this girl and to me she is amazing. She is the first person I think about when I get up in the morning and the past thought to go through my head at night when I go to bed. The problem is she is just recently single and wants to enjoy being single. I understand that and totally respect it but I'm falling for this girl and want nothing more than to be with her (and I've told her that).

Another problem is that she is on a break and at the end of the summer she is going to decided with her ex if they should be together. I don't want to put myself out there and fall for her if all she is going to do is go back to someone else.

I got really hurt at the end of last year when my girlfriend of 4+ years and I broke up. I haven't had a relationship since then and this girl is really the first person I have liked since my ex. I'm not sure I can handle getting hurt again. What do I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You are way too invested in this women and you don't even have a relationship with her. That's the stuff stalkers are made of, so stop pining over her. Furthermore you probably freaked her out by telling her you're interested and she's going to avoid you now. Take a break from the fantasy and get out there and meet some new women.

    It's understandable that you don't want to get hurt again, but you need to take a step back and reevaluate your life. You're relying on others for your happiness and mental wellbeing and that's not a good thing. The whole Jerry McGuire "you complete me" Hollywood romance is complete bullshit. Get that out of your head right now, otherwise you'll never truly be happy with yourself as a person.

    I strongly suggest you get out of your head (and house) and read Magic Bullets, Venusian Arts Handbook, and The Game by Neil Strauss. Get out there and be sociable. Meet new and interesting people. Take control of your life and stop being so dependent on others for your happiness. You'll thank me later.

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    • Gosh I thank you too! I am somewhat fantasizing about being more than friends with benefits with one guy and I guess nothing more will ever happen between me and him.

What Girls Said 2

  • Well, if this girl truly likes you then she shall be yours. If her heart is with her ex.Than she shall return to him. I know this can be very difficult to go through, I have been there myself. Love is always worth fighting for and most certainly worth waiting for. You are a young guy.You have your whole life in front of you. Either way, you won't loose. Because the way that I see it, your true love will love you back. If she feels that she wants to go back to her ex.Than she is not the one for you.

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  • This is a really hard situation to help someone with. Honestly I think that it is great that you are putting yourself out there again, but before you get hurt to much you have to think about if she is really worth putting yourself out there and trusting her with your heart. What I got out of reading this was that she might not feel the same way. When I don't like a guy I always try telling him that I just want to be single and that I am having problems with a guy so I don't want to get involved right now and honestly you sound like a great guy so don't let her hurt you if she isn't interested or worth it.

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What Guys Said 1

  • well, ask her out!

    i know it sucks and it hurts a lot to break up, but it only is if you both figure out then what's best for each other!

    and never take rejection personal. I've learned that and now I'm never afraid to ask anybody out. but still, don't feel bad about asking her out even though you know she's considering to go out with her ex.

    i am actually in a weird position. I'm in the ex in this case, and me and my ex might get back together. but my ex told me this person likes her, but she doesn't like him. she just wants to be single for now. I know you're probably not that guy since you don't live in the same city as me :) but anyhow, just be brave and stand up, and ask her out! if she says no, just stay friends! if she's that amazing, she would "un-awkward" the situation. (sorry for the lack of terms, but er, yeah.)

    give it a go!

    -fred

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