OK well often me and my friend end up liking the same guy, and it always ends up with him liking me, but me not going out with him because I just don't want to hurt her.
This guy REALLY likes me, and sometimes gets really close to me (like practically leaning on me in Uni class, which I find a bit invading). And I think I like him, but I don't think I should go out with him because she likes him too, and even though she says she wouldn't mind, I know she would.
I also feel bad because he is ALWAYS flirting with me, but she likes him too, so I feel bad that he doesn't like her. But I actually want to go out with this guy, and even though she is one of my good friends, I do not want to pass up another opportunity like I have done at least 3 times in the past.
Yes I know this is a sticky situation, I could either hurt the guy and turn him down and make my friend happy, or I could go out with him and hurt my friend.
I don't want to hurt her, but I'm sick of hurting guys that I really like just to spare her feelings. ( I know this sounds selfish, but seriously I have been single for SO long, and she is the only one stopping me from getting a bf)
Any advise of what I should do and how I should deal with my situation. Should I go out with him, should I pretend not to like him? Help please!
**also if you have been in a situation like this before, what did you do, did it work out?
Most Helpful Girl
Friends before men, I say.
You are making some big assumptions here. You are assuming this guy actually wants to have you for a girlfriend, not just to flirt or mess around with. You are assuming you will continue to think he is great after you start dating him and getting to know him better. Is it really worth possibly ruining a friendship for a guy you have no idea how it will go?
1. Yes, your friend will likely be very uncomfortable with you dating him if things were to progress to that point. This isn't about making her happy. She is not asking you to not date him. It is about being wise and knowing better and realizing it would be very hard for her, most likely, if you dated him.
2. When you and said guy have bumps in the road of dating or just flirting, you won't have her for a sounding board or buddy to commiserate with.
3. It is not your fault he does not like her. It isn't her fault or his fault either. Attraction is a tricky deal. We don't all equally feel attraction for all other people. This is life. The sooner you learn this, the easier dating gets.
4. Again, think long and hard before jeopardizing your friendship. Girlfriends are the one we go to when guys treat us poorly, ditch us for other girls, hit it and quit it or are jerks. Girlfriends are also the ones we go to for advice or emotional support when our man cannot provide it.
Dating is tricky. You will likely flirt with and date more guys than you will ever have a relationship with. But you can have stable life-long friendships with girlfriends if you choose.