Last night a guy I dated very briefly two years ago contacted me out of the blue on the dating site we met on and I should probably mention that it ended ugly with his last words to me being F-off or something to that effect via a text message over something incredibly petty my friend had said to him.
Anyway so the message I got that night says and I quote "I'm here right now because of you I miss you I'm really serious" Huge jaw-dropper moment for me. I reluctantly wrote back and was friendly but very cautious . I immediately found it very odd but I told myself it was a long time ago and it's all water under the bridge and I should keep an open mind because sometimes people DO change it's unlikely but not impossible.
He texted me off and on all day the next day and he was very adamant about seeing me again as soon as possible (red flag) I was still feeling uneasy about it but I finally agreed I would meet him for dinner sometime this weekend and hear him out. I know what I'm about to say sounds incredibly stupid on my part so no need to point it out to me...
I logged back on to the site later that night and read his profile for the first time since we broke up only to discover that he and the "love of his life" are looking for a third partner male or female. What I am feeling right now is a mix of anger,hurt and confusion. Why ? why would he come to me of all people after all this time after the way we ended things ? He knows damn well he hurt me. I was doing so well until he decided to make his encore performance in fact I may have very well never thought about him again for the rest of my life, so is it to get one more good stab at my heart? or is it because he wants to make sure I never forget him so he can feed his ego? or is he just so damn selfish that he thought if I said yes great if not who cares it's only that b!tch?
I swore I would never give that man another one of my tears but here I am old wounds open and packed with salt . Should I chew him out and say all the things I have always wanted to say to him or just say nothing and cut all contact with him again like I did the first time we broke up? I just feel so incredibly stupid for entertaining the thought of giving him a second chance and more so for even being friendly I knew I should have listened to my gut feeling the moment I read that first message. I could really use some sound advice right now.
Most Helpful Girl
Yes, chew him out! That's what I'd do. I'd actually write it down because I know I'd get too emotional and forget half of the things (or combine them incorrectly until I sound like an idiot which makes everything worse).
Or don't contact him. I mean, that's probably best. Ripping someone apart NEVER feels as good in reality as it seems like it will in your mind. Either you end up caving and taking blame / fault that doesn't belong to you or the other person doesn't care. If they cared about the pain they caused, they wouldn't have done it in the first place (usually).
Whatever you do, please don't feel stupid. We've all fallen for someone who wasn't good for us...then picked ourselves back up...and then considered jumping back in. You know all the bad but you also know all the good. And overall it can look more appealing / feel more reassuring than the unknown.
I think the best thing is to keep in control of your life. And the feeling you get from knowing what's good for you and leading your life accordingly is a really happy and even powerful feeling. A short, neutral response to him is probably the best revenge. Attacking leads to defense - he'll very likely not break down in tears and apologize. But neutral responses - you're not interested, too busy with life and friends and potential loves - doesn't fill or fuel anything for him. Leaves him empty. He can't suck the life out of you again.
Ok, I'm writing too much.