My girlfriend wants to sleep with another man and I don't know if I feel comfortable with this, am I being controlling? Please help me?

Question

We are both in university and naturally I know people go to university to experience new things and meet new people but the thing is, is that she wants to sleep with a man of a different race to experiment and have the experience, we live in a majority white town so seeing different cultures participating is a new experience compared to your typical white bread town, i was totally against this but tbh she has a way of convincing people and now I feel really guilty about the whole thing telling me that I'm controlling her, I honestly was raised by my mother to respect women and to always listen and be nice to women no matter what, (I was raised by a single mother so I didn't have a father figure but male father figures aren't needed considering my mother loves me with all her heart and in my opinion raised me to be a respectful and confident guy and was able to do so without a man, so i understand where she is coming from and after I felt really guilty and i honestly actually felt like sexist, I'm a little bit scared right now because I don't want to be controlling or telling a woman what to do but at the same time I feel hurt that my girlfriend wants to sleep with another guy, can anyone please help me, I'm sorry if I came across as being controlling but I don't know what to do 😞😞😞. I asked this question in another forum but people called me slurs which made me angry but I want to get G@G opinion because I know that people here are much more understanding, thank you and i appreciate your time.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

To be honest, what your mother and your university are teaching you is sexist. They're teaching you to be nice and respectful to someone just because they are a woman, whether they deserve your respect or not or whether they treat you with the same respect. I'm not saying go around being rude to people until they earn your respect but you should give a little and take a little at first until you know they are worth all of your effort. A girlfriend who is willing to put sleeping with someone else for five minutes over the feelings of a boyfriend that she already has without considering his feelings first, isn't worth your respect.

When they're teaching you not to tell or to care who women sleep with, that doesn't mean that you can't set standards and expectations for your own relationship.

vonasaurus · Accepted Answer

i don't think there's anything wrong with you. your girlfriend, on the other hand...

at least she was honest with you, in that she knows she's not ready to settle down. now you can break up with her and let her have this "experience" alone; if the two of you agreed to be monogamous (ie: only sleep with each other), cheating is cheating, regardless of how she tries to justify it.

mooky06 · Accepted Answer

Sounds like she is trying to guilt you into thinking that you are controlling her, when really, she just wants to do what she wants.

If she wanted to sleep around with men from different races, why did she get into a relationship? I feel like she is most likely to cheat on you.

RJGraveyTrain · Accepted Answer

Please respect yourself and don't be a cuck. She's in a relationship with YOU, if she had intentions of sleeping around she should have made it known prior, so she has to right to fuck around without consequence.

hellionthesagereborn · Accepted Answer

Its not controlling to expect some one to respect you and your relationship. Clearly she does not especially when she is blaming you for her wanting to cheat. Break up with her, clearly you don't matter to her enough to be faithful or to care how her actions will impact you so you need to move on.

DooMguy · Accepted Answer

^ this is you OP

coachTanthony · Answer

Look if she wants to experiment or sew her oats great... just break up with her and let her do it. I don't know any man that would allow this to happen. I pray to god this is a real question too lol

Iraqveteran666 · Answer

Let her bang whoever and walk away from the relationship. If a woman thinks she can be in a relationship with a man and screw other guys then she thinks he's a pussy anyway and is just stringing him a long. Take a look in the mirror and see why she thinks your not a man and do something about it, concentrate on building yourself into a man you can respect and that a woman wants.

R-Swizzle · Answer

She's YOUR girlfriend if you aren't comfortable with it make that clear. if she can't deal with that then you're better off with someone else to be honest. I'm sorry to hear that you're in this position. wanting to experiment is fine but having your SO sleep with someone else isn't okay.

VirginiaBeachBum · Answer

What were the arrangements of your relationship? Did you agree to an open or semi-open relationship with her at some point? If not, you need to talk with her and express your concerns again. I can understand her both desire and your concerns, but if you can't cope with what she wants to do, the relationship might well be over.

tyber1 · Answer

Is it something you can live with? If you can't, then you need to stand firm. It's not being controlling to not let your girlfriend have sex with other men. You have every right to tell her that she can't and if she doesn't like it then break up. If it's something you can live with, I won't tell you how to run your relationship. Do what you feel is best for you and live with your decision because you're gonna get hurt either way.

BetterNotToWriteHere · Answer

she is ur girlfriend and it's not her right to do this... whatever she name it..
and u r not controlling her in this.. and suppose if u don't stop her this time.. who says it won't happen again? bcoz u didn't stop her the first time... so better stop her NOW.

lord_chilled · Answer

Im sure if you tell this to your mom, she will tell you to dump that slut on the spot.
Dont believe me? Try it.

Its kinda sad that men these days act like this.
A century ago, a woman wouldn't have dared to ask her man something like this. They had something called respect

DiegoO · Answer

Come on man, you got to MAN UP and start being sure of what you want in the reltionship, your girlfriend should be in the same page and it isn´t the case, so ask yourself, is that the relationship you want to be in? If it´s not leave it clear to her and ask her if the desire she has is something she could overcome or not.

Anonymous · Answer

You may wanna try giving an open relationship a shot. I've had a couple, and they were some of the best I've had. Not because of the freedom that I had, but because we were able to talk about more with each other, therefore, I felt like there was a deeper understanding between us. It would definitely be interesting to see how she would react to the proposition when she realizes that you can do what you want if that was agreed upon. But yes, at least she was honest with you. I imagine it took a lot of courage on her part to just tell you. That being said respect her for it and don't be spiteful.

Anonymous · Answer

I'd pick between these two options:

1. She can only sleep with the other guy if you get to be there and it's a threesome.

2. Break up with her, or just ghost her altogether after when she had actually slept with somebody else.

The way I see it, she must have wanted an open relationship and should have told you ahead of time, and if you really not up for that type of relationship, then it's time for you to leave her behind forever.

Jan1ssary_ · Answer

What the fuck is that dude? And do u even thinking about it? It means "cheating" she is your woman how can u let some other man bang your woman? I'd definitely dump that bitch for coming up to me with this idea, because its for sure that she doesn't care about you and wants the D from other men, she is bored of you and she fantazises about other guys. Ofcourse you will be controlling if situation came to this, u are man at all and u will have your own rules.

ThornCL · Answer

She can sleep with him if you two break up.
You, it's repeat, YOU ARE NOT BEING CONTROLING.
In fact I would dump her ass for even asking that.
How would she react if roles where reversed?
That question right there will end this discussion.

CrystalChild · Answer

So your girlfriend doesn't want to be committed to you. If you want a monogamous relationship that's perfectly acceptable. Break up.

WoOolfy · Answer

lol that's not being controlling. She's Your girlfriend you have the right to not want her to sleep with other people. You 2 should talk about it, maybe You 2 want different things for yourselfs...

JimRSmith · Answer

Another troll question.  Looking forward to G@G opinion being 'more understanding', mate.

Nojudge · Answer

I am sorry to hear that... She is not your " Property" neither married to her. Its her reputation for having sex with different men... So, forgot her and find somebody whom you will like better.

strawberrysunshine79 · Answer

Aww. i mean how well do you know this girl. how long have you been together? i see what she's saying but she shouldn't be calling you controlling. its totally up to you. tell her it hurts and if she doesn't respond well maybe she's not the right person for you.

jhale · Answer

You shouldn't feel bad about this and I honestly think it's very disrespectful for her to even ask you such a thing

Sovereignty · Answer

Polygamous man here telling you that you're not being controlling if you feel that it's not acceptable for your girlfriend to sleep with other men.

evenlift · Answer

I feel sorry for you. Feminism has destroyed you and many of your contemporaries. You have no self-respect, and it's going to be a hard road to cure yourself. First, dump this girl.

My girlfriend wants to sleep with another man and I don't know if I feel comfortable with this, am I being controlling? Please help me?

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