Why are girls so difficult as soon as they step into a club?

I am confused. I know that girls love to have sex, probably even more than guys, yet still it is almost impossible to meet girls at clubs.

It seems to be the same for me and those of my friends that gets laid. Girls will almost be begging you to take her if you meet through friends, school, work and so on, but if you would try and pick her up in a club she would just look at you as if you are a big looser. Even girls that normally is way below your "league" do this. I am starting to think it is all just a big joke.

Logically the club scene seems like a great place to meet women but in reality it is absolutely terrible.

I know that me and my friends are desired by girls, so why being so difficult when we chat you up in a club? It seems a bit self-destructive to be honest.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • -Supposition: girls don't go alone to clubs, some friend (M/F) might be there and see it and be jealous and/or spread the rumor she was "easy" that time.

    -Supposition #2: elsewhere you're alone with the girl when you make your move and she hasn't much of a choice if she wants sex. In a club she can choose between a lot of guys.

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    • 1. Well, girls are difficult in clubs even when her friends are not around.

      2. Elsewhere the girls are at least interested in me, when friends are around. Competition from other guys could be one reason but it is not enough, because girls will reject guys all night and then go home alone, when she could have had me. I find that very odd.

    • -You don't know all her friends-> you can't know if they're around or not.

      -She might feel you came to get laid and feel insulted by the idea.

      "girls will reject guys all night and then go home alone, when she could have had me"

      It might have been her intention to go home alone.

What Girls Said 8

  • Well, despite popular belief just because a girl goes clubbing doesn't mean she has a complete lack of self respect and is there just to meet a guy and have sex. Heaven forbid that we went out just to go clubbing with out friends. Bottom line is I'm way more likely to hook with someone I met through friends, school, work etc. than some guy in a club that makes it apparent that he's only talking to me because he's trying to get laid. Even if all you want is to get laid don't make it so painfully obvious. Guys who go to clubs just to get laid look as desperate as those girls that chase after every guy trying to find "the one."

    Bars and clubs can be good places to meet girls but most girls don't want to deal with guys whose whole attitude is, "I only want to get laid, that's the only reason why I'm talking to you, I wish you would drink faster so that it'll make my life easier." If you come up to me in a bar or club and aren't acting like a scumbag you're way more likely to get laid at some point than if you come over and do everything you can to get me to come home with you that night.

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  • Guys seem to have this crazy notion that just because girls like sex they want random hookups. We don't. We want boyfriends. So, in a club most guys are totally trolling for casual sex. In fact, guys make it pretty easy to figure out that they just want to get you into the sack. They are disrespectful, trying to feel you up when you don't even know them and not even given the common courtesies we would expect from any guy we would consider dating.

    It is worse for you in clubs than in other settings because other settings give girls the false sense of security that maybe you are a nice guy who is in to her, not just a guy trying to have sex and then split. In the end, it is still the same, girls are looking for boyfriends, not to have a sexual hit and run performed on them.

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  • If that's what you are looking for then just go and get a hooker that's it. Some girls go to clubs to just have fun with her friends or if she just had a bad day she just feels like dancing and having a few drinks and not have some random guy who thinks he's the biggest thing try and hook up with her. Its not that we are difficult its just that you don't get us. You probably go in the club with the word sex going through your mind every second. If that's the case you aren't going to have much luck

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  • Here's a simple answer: want women? Don't meet them in clubs! Sometimes, girls really do just go there to dance or flirt with no intention of actually taking it any further, or they're just out for a girls' night.

    If you have such good luck in other places, I would suggest sticking with those places, and knowing there's a very thin chance anything would happen if you tried at a club.

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  • You probably look pretty desperate walking into a club looking for ANYONE who'll sleep with you. That's a turn off.

    You think you're out of someone's league without even getting to know them. You're shallow. Turn off no. 2.

    You don't give a toss about the girl, you only care about your own needs. You're selfish. Turn off no.3

    I'm gonna stop there but whilst some girls have no self esteem and will sleep with anyone, most of us aren't like that. We're looking for someone we at least have a shot at a future with, not a drunken regret

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  • I usually go after a bad day, when sex is the last thing on my mind; it just makes you feel better to look good and dance with some friends.

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  • Wow. I agree 100% with the anonymous user below me. I go to the club to have fun with my girls. Maybe it's all the movies and television shows that give you guys this offensive idea, but it doesn't work like that. I don't even HAVE female friends or acquaintances who do the one night stand bit. "girls will reject guys all night and then go home alone, when she could have had me. I find that very odd." Why is that ODD? Maybe you should change your mindset and stop thinking a female goes to the club hoping to find some stranger to sleep with.

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    • Okay, then where DO girls go to find someone, if its not at a club?

  • My girl friends and I hit clubs literally to just have fun with each other, dress up and look good just for the fun of it, dance, drink and often times, we don't even think about HOOKING UP at all.

    Hate the stupid misconception that girls go to clubs to get laid. So stupid.

    A lot of guys that go to clubs are also either really desperate or creepy so no, we don't go there for that. Maybe on rare occasions, like after a major break-up and you wanna forget or something like that (some girls do that), but not often.

    But if we really wanted to MEET guys, believe me, the club isn't the 1st place we'd go.

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    • I didn't think girls goes to clubs just to get laid, I myself go there mainly to have fun. What I found odd though was that a girl who earlier in the day would totally be thrilled to meet a guy like me suddenly treats me like air if we meet in a club.

      Anyways, where do girls go if they want to meet a guy then?

    • I think that's the case cause people's mindset or disposition often changes in a club. You go there to have fun, not necessarily to get to know someone. Maybe that's why they're all "I'm so happy to meet you" then at the club, not so much. Plus there's always so much going on in one, so many distractions.

      My friends and I have kinda made up our minds that we're gonna look and have fun (this attracts many people, lol) no matter where or what. So far its worked, more guys have come up to us =)

What Guys Said 5

  • Guys go to clubs to try and get chicks but my cuzzin said that most times her and her friends are just there to drink and dance and they don't wanna be bothered. I also heard sum girls are going to gay male clubs now just so they won't have to be bothered by str8t guys hounding them all night lmao

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    • Your cousins right, about us going just to hang out with our friends and going to gay clubs.

    • Lol.. you know what, I heard that same answer from one of my friends as well. Or they go to clubs where the cover and drinks are really expensive and that would weed out the fake from the real. I remember one of my friends went to a club that had a $20 cover

    • Yea that's y I don't really bother chicks in the club, they hate it when you do it, I've been approached here and there by a girl but I just go to drink as well, dudes just waste their cash buyin girls drinks because most times its not gonna get em anywhere lol

  • I think girls have to be that way in a club because there are many more boys to choose from. Lets face it, the social dynamic is that the guys in the club are chasing the girls. So if a girl is as easy as she would be anywhere else in life she will end up going to bed with the first homely guy that pulls up. Just think of it as a test. If you can show the woman that you can hold your cool under pressure, stand up for yourself, and not seem too desperate, then you'll be free and clear. The only problem is that she's not going to tell you how well you're doing. She's going to act like a cold hard b**** right up until you take her clothes off. And a lot of times you will get rejected, but if you only get rejected by 5 girls but then get to have your way with 1 smokin hot babe, then it was a good night. Right? Right.

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  • once they go into the club, they put up their defenses and bitchshields because they know people are there to f*** and their vags are the things to get f***ed. so unless your a jacked black guy or a skinny frat boy, you gotta lay down some slick game to get their pants off

    and then there's the excuse, oh I want to dance with my girls. that's a laff. those very same girls are like why can't I ever meet guys, uhhhhhhhh the place built for meeting people your puttin up you bitchshield, stupid things...

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  • I used to be just a frustrated as you when I was in my early 20s (I'm 28 now). But after being a bouncer and going through whole college deal I can see why girls got there guards up.

    I'm hooked up with girls at clubs before, but it was I went there to have a GOOD TIME and too feel UNINHIBITED. Yeah I'm a typical guy and have needs too. But I learn to make those just frosting on the cake.

    I imagine you are getting a lot of pressure from your buddies to get laid and I know it sucks. However try meeting women through other means; dance lessons, volunteering, club sports, etc. Also hit on women you are NOT attracted too. A sad truth is you do everything RIGHT when you are not interested in a girl. I find this makes it easier to talk to ALL girls in the long run.

    Also when I go to the clubs now I talk to EVERY girls I see. If one seems disinterested I hit on her friend.

    Show some playful confidence and it will work wonders. Also try to get an attractive wingman. My little bro is really good looking guy, better looking that I am. Girls will talk to me although they are really interested in him but too intimidated to talk to him.

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    • Thanks for the answer. But why do you think girls put their guards up when a guy is just talking to them?

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    • * although most are!!

    • I can't see what is so bad about wanting to bang a girl though. I mean, girls love sex after all.

  • Girls just like to go to clubs sometimes and get hit on to boost their ego.

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    • This is the TRUE reason why they go. It's not to have a good time with their friends, its to feel good about themselves.

    • So says the Xy chromosome.

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