First off, let's clarify that she's a grown woman. Kind of. Though she's still nine years younger than me (21, while I'm 30), so there's that. But still, the age gap isn't the biggest issue here. I've known her for a few months- met her while taking martial arts classes, and we've become good friends since then, meeting up, chatting and going out for coffee together. And I really like her- think she's totally hot and sexy, as well as being a great girl as a person, and I want to start dating her for real. The thing is though, she firmly believes that only pedos could possibly find her figure attractive and consider her to be 'hot' or 'sexy'. And she's said this to my face- tried to laugh it off, but I could tell that she was being serious, and that she really meant it.
She's petite (4'10"), and has the figure of a professional ballerina or gymnast- slender, toned, lithe, athletic and flexible, with a relatively small, tight ass, slender hips, and only-just A-cup breasts small enough for her not to need to wear a bra. The picture below isn't of her, but of another girl whose face and hair looks quite similar to hers, and who has pretty much the same figure which she does (or would, in a skintight outfit- my girl's breasts aren't quite as negligible as those of the girl below, but they aren't significantly bigger than my fully-tensed quads either). So then, girls and guys, do you think that she's right? In your opinions, is it possible for a grown man to find a girl who looks like her, with a figure like hers, hot and sexy (as I do) without being a pedo? And is it possible for me to convince her that I'm attracted to her, and want to date her, without coming across as being one, given that she already has that paranoid, self-deprecating idea (that she's exclusively a pedo-magnet, because she "looks like a little girl"- one of her main motives for taking martial arts classes in the first place) firmly lodged in her head?
I find this girl sexually attractive. Does that make me a pedo?
well I believe what she's actually saying is that you trying to Rob the Cradle. I don't like guys were older than me cuz they are around the same age as my father and I find out to be really disgusting. I say that because 9 out of 10 times only reasons why they would want a younger woman is either because of sex and reproduction. and it's usually not for good reasons. especially when it's not hard to find a woman they own age or around that age. and she's clearly saying she is not attracted to men who is old enough to be her older brother. physical attraction aside. it's risky and it could be a lot of hell because of a large age Gap and different life experiences. besides the chance of the older person using the experiences to manipulate and control the younger person, or make the younger person feel inferior and not able to compete in the real world with them.
She wasn't saying it about me though. She was recounting some of the creepiest approaches she'd had to deal with in the past, other guys who'd given her predatory stares and told her directly that she was sexy "because you look just like a grade schooler". Along with a few embarassing approaches by underage schoolboys who assumed she was the same age as them. Why would she confide in me about that if she saw me in the same light as them? Being nine years older isn't nearly old enough to be the same age as anyone's father; and anyone who's even a second older than any girl is 'old enough to be her older brother', so I don't see the problem there. And she already feels inferior and less able to compete, due mostly to her small size and build, and how other people see her- I'm doing all that I can to boost her self-esteem, get her to stop feeling that way about herself.
well you can't do anything about that. she's entitled to her preferences and you and title to yours. has valid reasons because 9 out of 10 times is all about lust in the first place. and 9 years in general is still high in number, even if it isn't about you. I had a same issue she had. and sadly she and I ends up attracting younger guys anyway because we look that age. it's not so much of a self esteem issue. she is not comfortable with the fact that the only reasons why guys are interested in her is mainly for her appearance. regardless if they think she's nice or not. and I'm the exact same way. so that is all I'm explaining to you. if she feels comfortable explaining that to you it's because she doesn't see you as somebody who is interested in her. she sees you as a friend, so she's trusting you with that information.
either way if you're not telling her the reason why you're talking to her is because you want to date her, then you're being dishonest with her. you pretty much know that you won't be considered. and you shouldn't be leading her on like this.
those are her terms and it needs to be respected. she has the right idea and she's not being paranoid. and I can't wait to start getting back to self defense classes myself. and why should you date somebody who you say is being paranoid in your opinion? you say you're helping her but you really not. the only reason for being around her is like you said because your day her and you think she's hot. when she finds out the reason why you been talking to her she's going to stop talking to you I'm guaranteeing you right now, because you would not answer her beginning any not being honest with her now.
I'm not just talking to her because I want to date her. I want to date her because I've been talking to her, and gotten to know her. What's wrong with that?
well that was not what you were saying before. what is wrong when you know that she is not interested in older guys. and that is what I'm mostly looking at. and the fact that you saying that she has paranoia wishes wrong to say about a person.
you trying to convince a person who already made up their mind a long time ago before I even met you. and that is not your job to do. it is her choice and free will. all I'm telling you is by similar experience. I had to stop being friends with somebody who didn't respect me when I said that I wasn't going to date him and wasn't interested. He was 1 year older than me. He not only disrespected me he disrespected his girlfriend too.
Actually, you'll be glad to hear that I completely ignored your advice- told her how I feel about her, and that I'd like to start dating her properly. And turned out that I had nothing to worry about; she was happy about it, and accepted straight away. Thinking back on it, looking at her reaction to me asking her out (like she'd expected it, and had been waiting for it), I've got a sneaking suspicion that I missed a trick. That she shared all of that with me- telling me about how only the only people who'd ever found her attractive and who'd been romantically interested in her seemed to be pedos and little boys, and how she felt like only pedos could possibly find a figure like hers attractive- as a weird way of inviting me to tell her that she was attractive (which I did on the day) and to declare my romantic interest in her. I suck at concealing my feelings, and she's especially perceptive. Probably knew that I liked her in that way since before I even figured it out myself...
Are you attracted to children or early teenagers? If yes, you are a pedo. If not, you are not. It's very simple. The girl you are talking about is 21. Her body does not look like a child. It can never look like a child's body. Her body is already physically formed, she simply happens to be very lean.
No your not a pedo, I don't know if she's an adult but if she is she's an adult either way. trust me i've seen an older woman dating an early 20s young adult. And just because she has a small stature of a little girl and that turns you on doesn't make you a pedo if she's an adult. I honestly hate when people see a couple that has a younger partner that looks like a child and they start calling the older partner a pedo 🙄
you really need to widen your gap dude, i guess flatchested women have something going for them, but fuuck.. you want them to look 14 as well.. I watch Animee too.. but damn i don't daydream over it.. I guess all i can say is.. she has to be at least 18 , and for the love of god not any younger.
Thing is, she's convinced that any guy who's sexually attracted to her automatically has to be a pedo, because of her diminutive size, her slender build and her 'small assets'. And she says she's gotten some properly creepy approaches in the past, guys telling her that "you look just like a grade schooler, that's soo sexy", so I can understand why she'd feel that way. So even though we've gotten friendly with each other, and we've been on three or four unofficial dates already, I don't know how to go about tell her that I find her attractive, and that I'd like her to be my girlfriend. And even if she does (which she should, fingers crossed- the chemistry's there), I'm worried that it could make it extremely awkward when/if things reach the intimate stage. Will she be able to accept that I actually find her body sexy because it's hers, and not just because it resembles that of a younger girl?
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