Why is this a turn off?

I notice that a lot of people have a problem dating someone who has 3 or more kids. Honestly, are you turned off if you met a guy or girl that you think is so sexy but when they tell you they have 5 kids and they are in there early 20s, that could totally alter your interest? If so, why? Lets say you never even see the kids because they live with the other parent but you just know they have 5 kids. Why could that be a deal breaker for most?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think its to much responsibility to fast. He may not have kids of his own and a lot of times being there for the pregnancy and the 9 months leading up gives the guys an idea of what they have in store for them. Him finding out you have 5 kids is like putting him on the spot right that minute to be ready to deal with this.

    If the kids are with your ex there are still going to be times you want to see them. And he will end up being put in an awkward situation with the children wanting to know who he is and him just being there with your ex.

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    • I never see his other kids. they live with his baby mamas and other states. I only saw his son a few times but when would see each other, it wasn't fulltime because he was in a relationshop 2 years ago. now he is single and only one of his Baby mamas lives here with his son who I seen before a long time ago. But yeah I know that if I become his official gf, I'll have to meet them some day but the only one I would really be seein a lot is his son.

What Guys Said 4

  • As sad as it is, I will just put it out there. Its that sense of added responsibility. When men try to get with a woman, we are thinking we are just gonna get ONE person in our lives but when we learn that that ONE has FIVE others in her life that directly share her...that could take a little bit of space adjustment and in most cases, the guys will just run. with one, its not so hard...two, it can slow the momemtum down for a sec and the guy either can dip or keep going...three, whoo dang...but FIVE?..idk. Also it depends on the age of the man involved and the woman too I guess. a guy in his 30's or 40's wouldn't mind, they most likely have theirs or can handle it...a person in their 20's...not so much...

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    • Well, he works at a warehouse where they package Gatorade and he is CNA certified nurse so he works fulltime. He was just living with his baby mama a couple of months ago cause he got her preg(5 th child) Stayed with her for 4 months to work it out but didn't work out. he pretty much has 5 different baby mommas. He has always been and relationships with these women, they were his GF's so its not like he was just sleepin around. Its just he never wanted to fully commit to them for like marraige.

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    • You'd be surprised...

    • No I really don't think I can.

  • For me, its a scary prospect. Its way too much responsibility to worry about at a young age. Me personally, I don't want to get married or have kids until a later age. I want to do the things that I want to do...travel, establish a career, have fun however I want. I don't dislike kids, but having them gets in the way of all that. So how would I know that I wouldn't end up taking care of someone's kids? I'm just not ready to be in a father role at this time.

    Aside from my personal preferences, the general assumption that a young mother has made mistakes is still something that a lot people feel. A girl having kids before she's even in college like the "norm" makes her look misguided. But that's something that won't go away any time soon.

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  • risky behavior mentality...irresponsible/immature...ex-factor love triangle dilemma

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    • Wow you pretty much summed it up. ok

  • If you have 5 kids by your early 20's there must be something very wrong with you. I don't think someone having 3 or more kids is a turnoff within limits.

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    • Well he is 25 now. but that's still too young

What Girls Said 1

  • Its like extra baggage, I know its rude to say but that's what most people think. I mean lets say you give this "guy" a chance, and you have kids with him? Obviously your gonna get a lot of drama from the other mama and there's always a favorite kid..What if its not your kid? Those kids would come visit, how do you treat them? You can't hit or yell at another persons child? They should have been thinking bout the long term effects with that person (AKA the other mama), so why should you suffer with their mistake? Hope it helps :D

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    • This is true but for some reason it does not bother me

    • Well like everybodys different and maybe at first it seems allright and you okay with it, but maybe at 1 point it will change and drama begins, BUT again it depends on the person, if this guy is amazing and you fall head over heels for him then who gives a damn bout those kids :D

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