If you ask a girl out to dinner, but it's not established that you're dating yet or you're only friends but you are trying to show your interest, do you still pay for her? I ask because I'd rather not pay for anyone anymore until we're officially going out, because in the past I've paid for girls I was interested in before just to have them turn me down and it makes me feel used... I show them respect, courtesy and treat them well and yet they feel nothing in return?. Can I assume then a girl who does refuse dinner with me because I won't pay only wants to use me as a free meal ticket?
If a date does go well, is it okay to hold her hand afterward? I want a first date to end with her knowing I'm interested, and hopefully reciprocating in some way.
Most Helpful Girl
Yes, you offer to pay for the first date. Show her that chivalry's not dead. If she offers to split the check, she's just being polite. If you can't afford to treat a girl to lunch/dinner, don't ask her out. This comes from the general rule that the person who asks to go out is the person who pays for the meal. If she asks you out, she is offering to pay for the meal. Guys don't usually go for that. For example, a friend of mine was asked to go out to lunch with by a girl he likes. He made an excuse that he wasn't available at that time, but later on he called and asked if she was free at an alternate time, saying he'd be able to clear his schedule for her. Smooth and chivalrous. THose two have been together for years now, yet they still stick to this "code".
As for hand holding, the first date is usually too soon. Try walking close to her, touching her hand or brushing your arm against hers to give her goosebumps. If you get the desired reaction, DON'T pounce on her with the hand holding. Wait till you walk her to her door and take her hand then. Watch for the tell-tale goosebumps. That's how you know whether or not hand-holding is in your future.2