Is it true that nice polite and considerate guys are considered weak?

[Anonymous]

If this is true then why are we brought up being told to be kind, considerate and polite? If girls prefer arseholes and dbags what is the point of being a gentleman?

[SmartButBroke]

"Weak" is the wrong word. If you're talking about in the context of women, it's more like "boring" or lacking confidence. But other men might view you as weak.

Why are you brought up to be nice/polite/considerate? Probably because your parents are not thinking about your future career or future love life or your perceived masculinity by other guys when they're raising you. They're thinking about what's right and wrong in terms of how you treat people.

In any case of events, you don't have to be a jerk to win in life. I notice that the people who get the farthest in every sense seem to either be very outgoing/extroverted and are perceived to have great social skills or they are very "normal," as in they like all the same boring schitt everyone else likes and like to do all the same boring schitt everyone else likes... basically, they "fit in" well wherever they go. I've seen nice guys who were outgoing with great social skills, and they were winning. But outgoing jerks who know how to talk to women win, as well.

[reixun]

Nice and considerate guys are great
When they're overly courteous to the point of exaggeration or to doormat level then fuck no

[Paulie3000]

I feel like I'm nice and considerate but I'm hopefully getting better at reigning it in but I still attract girls more as friends

[wisdom_sharer]

Considerate weak by whom? By people they were "brought up"?

[Asker]

No just by people in general, it seems to me that the only people that get anywhere are jerks.

[wisdom_sharer]

"People in general" are nice, actually, that is why they are bringing up their children to be decent people.

[Asker]

Then why do, I constantly get rejected by girls and bullied by everyone?

[wisdom_sharer]

I have no idea where you live, but no, many people are pretty decent, I doubt you get bullied by everyone, I'm sorry.

[cth96190]

Yes, it is true.
Most females in your age range want bad boys who will break their hearts, because that is 'exciting'.
They want to live in their own personal soap opera.
About the age of 30 I gave up and walked away from trying to interact with women. Strange thing, soon after that women began to pursue me.
It seems that not giving a fuck and being not interested works better than being polite, treating girls with respect and showing interest.
Women in my age range still hit on me and with a frequency that would astonish men of your age.
I am still not interested.

[dogbert444]

Nice guys are not weak. They just don't find it necessary to prove themselves. They have the confidence not to have to be nasty or show off. They don't drive souped up cars as a penis extension.

From the few female friends I have in UK, and from my own family, girls may initially be attracted to an arsehole, but not many would want to marry one, let alone spend the rest of their lives with one. Unless they enjoy being cheated on!

[cth96190]

Most females do not have that epiphany until they are about 30.
Until then, they throw themselves crotch first at the most worthless arseholes who they can find, because such men are 'exciting'.

[dogbert444]

@cth96190 Yup. That's why so many end up pregnant, abused, cheated on etc.

[cavmanier]

Well I'm nice and polite. I'm not a "push over" though. I'm far from that. Some girls like the a holes with abusive tendencies. I personally wouldn't want to date girls that are attracted to them though. I wouldn't want the chaos. You can date nice, sweet girls too. They exist and the nice guy with nice girl combo is great.

[cth96190]

Where are the "nice, sweet girls"?
There do not seem to be any, here in Australia.

[cavmanier]

@cth96190 I bet they're around somewhere

[Messofanego]

"Nice guys" are also assholes and creeps. Especially if they need to remind others that they're nice. Two wrongs don't make a right. Don't act like you're entitled a relationship just because you're "nice".

[Anonymous]

No one told me to be "nice." I just try to genuinely help out whoever is in need because they're human too. If anyone perceives that as "weak," that's just pitiful. No wonder so many people come on this site and complain about/question their relationships

[BGrumps]

It's probably because you're being nice so they like you and you also want them to be comfortable. Comfortable is boring. There's no tension. Build self confidence so you can be honest and authentic. Nothing wrong with being a gentleman but if your just doing it for personal gains then that's not gentlemanly at all.

[dannymexico]

Nice guys without a spine or backbone, no. You can be nice and also be assertive. They love that shit. Just don't be a push over. The saying comes from nice guys who act like doormats.

[AleDeEurope]

By chicks online, yes, but what do bitter virgins know about guys?
In the real world no real woman would consider such guy weak, quite the opposite.

[IamJohnGo]

1 Thing about "weak". It has such a broad range of uses. All of which to me express inferiority. To be a nice, friendly, compassionate and respectful man toward all people not just women. Is not inferior. I don't feel "WEAK" is the correct word

[boomer87]

It seems like that what it is to women. the expression, nice guys finish last. unfortunately it's true.

[MoeAli]

They are not considered weak at all lol. its just that.. girls always like the bad boys.. why? because of their cockiness which gets mistaken for confidence.. until they break their heart 😐

[Pimop95]

Some cases that is true but in many cases the guy is a doormat but uses being nice as a copout for a weak personality and then he wonders why he is overlooked

[MathN]

Girls do like the "nice guy". of you'rr the gentleman and people don't like you, it's not because of that. could be that you are bust boring.

[TomBradysJersey]

Unfortunately in my experience yes.

[Asker]

Then why are we brought up being told this is the way to behave when girls only want jerks?

[TomBradysJersey]

Depends who raised you.

[alice55]

They're not unless they can't say no

[Pi-e-i-SQR2]

Meek and weak are not always equal.

[woooooooo]

I would be a pushover

[Dred1614returns]

That's false

[Anonymous]

Yep.

[Anonymous]

Yes, it is actually.