Texting my ex - what should I say?

So me and this guy broke up a little under a year ago because he had personal things to sort out. And the entire thing was really confusing - to this day I'm not sure if he broke up with me because he really needed to sort things out but still really liked me, or if it was an excuse. Anyway I kept bugging him after the break up (I've never liked anyone as much, even now) and sending him really emotional over the top messages. Eventually he said 'I don't like you enough to date you'. But (there's not space to go into it!) there was so much evidence that he did still like me - and he obviously did like me enough to date me as he told me it so often when we were together (which was only for a month). I have reason to believe he said that just to help me get over him.

Anyway, recently we started talking again - one night he even invited me over but I didn't end up going because he's slightly shy about it. And he told me he's sorted everything out now.

But about two nights ago I was out drinking and with a male friend who has feelings for me and hates the guy I used to date. I saw the guy I used to date (I'll call him Fred) and had to run off so they didn't have to meet and because I was also just scared for some reason (I was very drunk). Anyway me and my male friend went to sit outside and I was crying for some reason and he kept saying things like 'You have to get over him, he doesn't deserve you' etc. I can't remember if he said Fred's name or not - but I looked up and Fred was walking like 2 feet away from us. We made eye contact but I looked away - what else could I do?! ]Anyway, I'm so worried that he heard and thinks I'm pathetic for not being over it yet.

But I've decided to tell him that I just ran away so he wouldn't have to meet my friend, and that we got in a fight because of it and that's why I was crying.

ANYWAY, (I'm so sorry about length!) it's Fred's birthday tomorrow - which gives me a good excuse to text him and I'm really hoping that he'll start a text conversation with me because I want to get back together with him, or at least spend time with him and see how it goes.

So the question is - should I say 'happy birthday, hope you're having a good day! x' and leave it up to him whether he wants to start a conversation? or 'happy birthday, how is your day going? x' and start one myself? If I ask the question, I've decided if he doesn't continue the conversation I'll just let it go - but should I even bother at all?

Again I'm so sorry this is SO long and slightly pointless haha but I over think everything and this means a lot to me :) so thanks so much if you read/reply!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • i would listen to your friend and let him go. your friend really likes you and don't want to see you get hurt again. the guy you want back will leave you again for someone else. its not wroth it, trust me I know

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What Guys Said 1

  • I feel bad for you male "friend". Poor chump is stuck in the friend zone.

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What Girls Said 1

  • Umm... Your relationship really reminds me of my cousin Nicky. Its really ok to text your ex. Its a totally different story if your giving him another chance to patch things up. Once your done with a glass of water there is no way to reuse it.

    And as for the saying happy birthday and crap... I don't think that that would make a difference in your relationship. Just be there as his friend. Not his ex that secretly talks about him over the internet.

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