He still goes online?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I never figured anything was wrong with us. We first met on a dating site and after a while he started to talk about deleting his profile because he didn't really need it anymore. He didn't... I wondered if he was holding back to see what I thought (I didn't really give him an exact response). So I gave it a while then deleted mine, but his is still there. Now it's been nearly a year, and I discover that his profile is still there, and he goes on it regularly - most of the time when I look it says he's been on that day.

I'm afraid to ask him about it because it looks a little weird that I went looking for his profile. I know it's not the same as going through his texts or emails or anything but I still feel like maybe he might feel I betrayed his trust. But then surely he betrayed my trust by going online? I don't know if he's talking to anyone else or seeing anyone else or sleeping with them or what... he always says he's against cheating and I never had any reason to doubt him. What should I do?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should probably talk to him about how you feel. Maybe he has it there to give him the reassurance that he is worthy of dating you. It's similar to women who are in relationships but flirts with other guys. It's harmless reassurance for a minor insecurity.

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    • I don't know, my last boyfriend did the same thing and it turned out he was just waiting until someone better came along so I wouldn't say it's harmless... if I ask him about it, how should I go about it?

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    • I guess. It's just I'm worried about seeming insecure and all. I've felt jealous before and he's had perfectly good reasons for what I was worried about, so then I felt stupid. I guess I'm worried if I probe too much I might lose him just for being too jealous, when he'd done nothing wrong, you know? But I guess there isn't an indirect way of doing it

    • Most people are insecure; that's why a lot of people are jealous of their partners. There have been studies conducted that women tend to fatten their men so they don't seem to be too attractive. That way the men won't leave them. There are some signs a man could be cheating or looking for a way out. If he's been out of shape for a while and all of a sudden gets really in shape, he maybe looking for another option.

What Guys Said 2

  • if he's going online to meet other people, maybe you're not spending enough time with him and he's just losing interest or bored or not getting the attention he wants

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    • But that's what's strange - I always thought we spent more than enough time together, and that there was nothing wrong. that's what I don't get. He never seems unhappy otherwise

    • I wish I knew who or what your profile is. I'm going through the same thing. People see us together and assume we are together but he goes online. We haven't officially made a commitment bc he's scared he might let me down. I think he's insecure but I keep telling him I'm not going anywhere. He suggested that I see other guys and every time I start he keeps texting and wanting to see me. He tells me not to push him away. Do you think your boyfriend is insecure?

  • Seems he isn't satisfied with what he has, and he's still looking. How sad. Do you think you're worth that?

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What Girls Said 1

  • there is nothing wrong with going through your partners belongings if you have a feeling of foul play. only cheaters who don't want to be caught make it seem like it"s so bad or crazy ( and naive b**ches who want to live in denial). when you are having intimate relations with someone( condoms or not), you are putting your life in their hands and it is your right to know if they are cheating on you. what you should do is not tell him that you know about the account, set up a anonymous account with another girl's picture, name ect. flirt and see if you can get him to hook up with you, maybe even take it as far as setting up a meeting with him in person. if he takes the bait, confront him then and let him go.xoxoxo

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