What should I do? Is there any hope? Will things ever change in my favor?

I have known this girl for a couple of years. We never really talked much until a few months ago. The first time we hung out we were together for 48 hours straight. She just got out of a 3 year relationship around 8 months ago. We both agreed that we didn't want anything to be too serious. However, the way we acted didn't reflect that. It was comfortable and natural for us to act like a couple (even though we weren't together). She would tell me that she liked me and that we were very similar people that wanted the same things out of life. She would also talk about how cute and sweet she thought I was. A few weeks ago, she went to a party. At the party, she did see a guy she dated briefly before me. After that party, things started to change. We both started acting somewhat weird. I started worrying that she was going to start dating guys and she started sending me strange vibes. Probably about a week after that, she told me that she thiught things were getting too serious which she didn't want. She said that she thought that we might be better off as friends. I told her that we definitely needed to slow things down because they had progressed too quickly. However, we still kept acting pretty much the same. We would still kiss and stay the night together. Over the weeks, she did bring up us just being friends a couple more times. However, things still didn't really change. A few weeks ago, we stopped sleeping together. It was a mutual decision because we both thought that it complicated things. I asked her if we could still kiss and hug, but she said that she didn't think it was a good idea. Yet, we continued to kiss, hug, and cuddle.A couple of days ago, we had another discussion. She said that she no longer wanted me to kiss her because it made her feel uncomfortable. She went on to say that her feelings for me had changed, that she was burnt out on things (because they had progressed so quickly), and that she no longer liked me as anything other than a friend. When I asked her what caused her feelings to change she would always just say she didn't know or that she didn't have a reason. Whenever I would bring the situation up she would just say that she didn't want to talk about it. I have been laying low the past couple of days and have kind of been ignoring her. Generally, I am the one that started the conversations, so I have stopped texting her. She texted me yesterday and I just ended up ignoring it. She said that she wanted to hang out Wednesday before I head out of town for the weekend. My plan is to say I have other plans and preventing her from seeing me. I was hoping if she didn't see me or talk to me much that she would start to miss me. Also, I have asked her if her feelings ever might change back. She did say that it was possible because I was so sweet and we are so much alike. Was I just a rebound guy? Am I getting screwed over? Is it possible that she is withholding feelings because she is scared?


Most Helpful Guy

  • my advice would be to keep doing what your doing now, send her the message that if she wants to be with you its all or nothing and maybe even tell her straight out, listen, I have plenty of friends around, I just want you to know that I want you more than a friend and as long as we hang out I'll always be going for that, we can be curtious and sy a friendly high when we see each other but if friends is all you want to be then maybe we should not hang out...

    Say it and mean it, if this is the truth for you right now because staying friends does not work out. Read the "lets just be friends" story in my profile and ask yourself if that is where you want to end up


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What Guys Said 2

  • Lesson #1 : All, and I mean ALL girls are CRAZY.

    Seriously, don't think about it too much, if she wants it over like she says, show her what over means. If she doesn't like it, then tell her if she's lucky you will take her back. But don't dwell on it.

  • Maybe she is using you to get over the ex, or make him jealous and hook up with him agian or she might be worried that she will lose you as a friend if it ends badly...